


The Cabbala.

by Archer Black (CzarnaArcher)



Series: LoEG [1]
Category: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Genre: Gen, Violence, controversial characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-04-24 18:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4930543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CzarnaArcher/pseuds/Archer%20Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miss Wilhelmina Murray is back after the events of Century. For 6 years she managed to stay away from trouble but history likes to repeat itself and now she has to face a new challenge: gather new team to face new challenge, all while discreetly removing her own (and Orlando's) traces in the MI6.</p><p>Don'y like it? Don't read it!</p><p>Downloadable PDF version already available on archerblack.deviantart.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Exist - the Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> OK. It is not the original make-out of the League, but the League as itself is a cross-over and it was devised as such from the beginning.
> 
> The purpose is to have fun with completely wild assembly of characters and even if they do not perfectly match (mind you, the original League was just that - a mish-mash of characters), make it work. 
> 
> I already was bashed over this idea because it was not a canon assembly, I was told something in the lines of "You have no talent, you will never manage to make it work, Atomic Robo would KILL both Kroenen and Slender because he hates villains, Slender is mindless kid killer, Kroenen is Nazi assassin and thus a poor choice of character to use, your work will be poorly written, you have no idea about writing, your work is EVIL and society must be protected from IT!" by someone who not only never read my fics but never even looked through my galleries; or at least that is how I understand his reasoning based on his own personal opinion. Anyway I understand that in his opinion I will fry in hell forever just for devising such a story.
> 
> All this could only mean one thing: me, being me and having the archetypical Polish attitude of "I WILL do it in SPITE you just because you do not WANT me to", decided to work even harder on the idea (that started just as a goof picture on dA).
> 
> So, here you go, the story I was told never to write (or else).
> 
> PS. Upon recent development I am in need to add that I assume that my readers have at least average intelligence and above the elementary level of historical knowledge - in fact, make it 'above average level'. Also - thanks to certain commenter - please people, make sure you know the meanings of words that you're using. Those who do not pass these qualifications should abstain from commenting. Thank you for your attention and have a nice lecture.

**The Cabbala.**

 

** **

 

“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

 

**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

 

Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

 

Rating: M, possibly MA.

 

Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

 

Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

 

 

**We Exist – the prologue.**

 

 

“ _(…) Down on your knees_

_Begging us please_

_Praying that we don't exist_

_You're down on your knees_

_Begging us please_

_Praying that we don't exist_

_We exist!_

_We exist! (…) –_ Arcade Fire _“We Exist”._

 

oOo

 

_London. MI6 headquarters. 2015._

 

Wilhelmina Murray sat silently in the waiting room in MI6 HQ waiting for what the future would bring. She didn’t know how they managed to find her. She did her absolute best to stay hidden safe for simply not coming back to United Kingdom which, in hindsight, would probably be the wisest thing to do. But then again, how could she not return? Orlando left all her belongings here and Mina didn’t want to allow her last friend off her sight. She had bad feelings and so they have returned together. They managed to stay hidden for six years… Six years. Mina changed her looks at first, going blonde but that in turn brought back memories of Allan and how they stole the Black Dossier so she returned back to her natural colour. Perhaps she should go brunette, but then Orlando was brunette and Mina wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t feel awkward in certain situations.

 

Mina sighed, the time passed and her mind was getting her even more anxious about what was to happen. The paranoia was getting to her with every passing minute. With all her past exploits anything could happen to her now. But the way she was taken from the street and just brought here it probably wasn’t anything pleasant. Orlando didn’t even know… and what she didn’t know she could not defend herself against. Mina’s heart froze. She has already lost Allan. If she lost Orlando she would stay alone, though probably she’d follow them soon.

 

The door opened and she almost jumped. A secretary emerged and she rose to her feet trying not to show her nervousness. Luckily she had plenty of experience with that.

 

“Mr “M” will see you now Miss Murray.” The secretary said and allowed Mina in.

 

She walked into the office and the secretary closed the doors behind her. A good 30 minutes later Miss Wilhelmina Murray left the office pale as a sheet of paper, with blank face and slightly trembling. She was holding two yellow folders, grey envelope and thick white binder. She was looking as if she was about to either burst into tears or throw up, or perhaps even both.

 

“Do you like a carrier bag for that Miss Murray?” The secretary asked with audible worry in her voice.

 

“Yes, please.” Mina uttered in strained voice. She seemed to be in state of mild shock.

 

“Of course, and would you like me to call you a taxicab?” The secretary asked handing Mina a large plastic bag with name of popular supermarket printed in red and blue.

 

“Thank you, and no, I think I will manage to catch one by myself.” Mina said while placing the items in the bag. “I think I will go now.”

 

“Goodbye to you then Miss Murray, and see you tomorrow.” The secretary said with warm smile.

 

“Yes, goodbye Miss Moneypenny.” Mina walked away with slightly unstable steps.

 

oOo

 

_Elsewhere, later._

 

When Orlando walked into her flat she noticed Mina sitting on the bed staring blankly at a carrier bad at her feet. She instantly knew that something was wrong. Mina was always calm person unless deeply angered but she never was near catatonic on her own.

 

Orlando quickly left her grocery bag and approached her friend. “Mina, darling, what happened, what’s wrong?”

 

“Lando…” Mina seemed to wake from her stupor. “This is terrible, they have found me.”

 

“Who?”

 

“The Firm! MI6! They have found me somehow, and they just snatched me from the street like some common goon!”

 

“Oh Christ!” Orlando sat next to Mina and wrapped her arms around the other woman. “How did you manage to get away?”

 

“They’ve let me go!”

 

“What?”

 

“They knew who I am, who I really am, and they said that they will not arrest me, they have use for me.” Mina hid her face in her hands. “The ‘M’ that I spoke to said that he has a proposition for me. And I have agreed!”

 

“You did what?” Orlando stood up abruptly.

 

“I didn’t have a choice, Lando! The ‘M’ said that if I would refuse he would put me back into the madhouse!”

 

“Oh, darling!” Orlando sat heavily back on the bed embracing Mina again. “Fuck it all, we’ll pack and leave, we will be far away by tomorrow.”

 

“No, I have to do this. I have to!” Mina shook her head. “This is terrible but I have to do this!”

 

“Ok, let’s start from the beginning. What do they want from you and why? And what is so terrible that you have to do it?”

 

“Terrorists! Terrorists from the Islamic State!” Mina reached for the bag and took out everything.

 

“Slowly and from the beginning, darling.”

 

“I am to become the new ‘M’. Everything has been already arranged, I have all the documents here.” Mina gave Orlando the grey envelope.

 

“Did he say why he wants you to replace him?” Orlando asked while looking through the documents. They looked legit, but then again they were made in the same place as the real ones.

 

“He is retiring for some health issues and he leaves soon. He said that he picked me because my expertise is what the Agency needs now.” Mina took a deep breath to calm down. “This is terrible.” She handed Orlando two yellow folders. “These two men worked in the MI6 archives before they somehow became recruited by the IS and became Jihadists.”

 

“Oh fuck!” Orlando quickly skimmed through both folders. “This is bad. Imagine what kind of information they had access to!”

 

“Nothing recent. They worked in one of the historical sections of the archives, the one containing files from before 1914.”

 

“Our own sentiments aside, I take that this is bad news?” Orlando gave Mina suspicious look. In most cases such old documents could be only fascinating to historians or history enthusiasts, but Mina’s tone of voice suggested that there was more.

 

“Before they have escaped, they managed to steal some documents. No one really knows what exactly was in them because that was part of the archive no one really took interest in any more. They were able to tell that some of these documents were not created in England and that the oldest could date back to before the Industrial Revolution.”

 

“There could be anything in there.”

 

“Yes.” Mina nodded. “After they have escape they laid low for few weeks. ‘M’ assumes that they were studying the documents they have stolen. And last week they have re-surfaced, they are travelling across Europe, probably searching for something.”

 

“If they’re crossing Europe then how it is our problem. Let European governments to deal with them.” Orlando shrugged.

 

“Our government considers them traitors and agreed to deal with them by our own means.” Mina clenched her fists.

 

“Not to mention our big wigs would hate for other countries to learn just what kind of documents we’re having in our archives.” Orlando added. “So, this is basically a man hunt?”

 

“I am to assemble a new League and send them after these two Jihadists and then oversee complete and throughout clearing of the archives. Any historical document I will find hazardous I am to lock in special sub-section that only ‘M’ will have access to.”

 

“That doesn’t seem like much of a challenge, but knowing life you will have your hands full. And on top of that you will have to perform all the regular duties of an ‘M’. That’s a lot.”

 

“Yes. But don’t you see?” Mina’s eyes sparkled. “I will have complete and legal access to the archives! That includes our files! I can remove us from these files! I can erase us from official documents and we will be finally completely free! We won’t be ‘unpersons’ or ‘question marks’ anymore because there will be no us!”

 

“That is risky. You know you just can’t erase the League from existence without anyone noticing. There must be mentions of us in different agencies’ archives.” Orlando’s eyebrows furrowed in thought. “Tricky but perhaps worth the try?”

 

“I will just make sure that the documents are straightened so that we were just typical agents that were merely delegated to some extraordinary tasks. I will remove completely results of Campion Bond’s medical tests on Hyde. I will remove any descriptions of us, any photographs so no one ever will know how we really looked like.” Mina gestured to her scarf. “And all that while stopping the Jihadists!”

 

“Hmm. Don’t destroy the files about us, bring them home. I will give them to Prospero next time I will have the chance to. He was the one to assemble the League for the first time; I think he’d appreciate having them.” Orlando decided. “Now, having this settled, back to the Jihadists and the team.”

 

“I was given this.” Mina presented the fat, white binder. “This is called ‘White Dossier’. It contains profiles of numerous ‘Extraordinary Gentlemen and Gentlewomen’ as ‘M’ has put it. I am to pick a team from them.”

 

“A team.” Orlando opened the binder. “Let’s see what we have here. Nice menagerie.” She began to leaf through the contents. “That looks like a puzzle box, not a person.”

 

“Let me see…” Mina took a closer look at the page. It did have a picture of a richly ornamented cube. “Lemarchand Box.” She read. “A means to summon Cenobites, a fraternity of demonic entities that often once were humans. In order to summon them you require to achieve a Configuration with use of the puzzle box. It is dangerous for Cenobites claim the prize in form of the one who solves the puzzle yet it is possible to avoid being taken by means of striking a deal or presenting circumstances of greater matter that the Cenobites will consider imperative enough to require their immediate attention and thus justify summoning them.” Mina quickly gulped, that sounded dangerous. “Upon opening a box a single Cenobite or group of them called ‘Gash’ will arrive. On following page is instruction of achieving so called ‘Lament Configuration’ that most often summons Vasa Inquitatis, there in their tanks are two Cenobites that are possible candidates, their names are: Xipe Totec1) and Mictlantecutli2).”

 

“I think not.” Orlando glanced at the page, turned it and then studied drawings of the two aforementioned Cenobites. “That seems too much of BDSM to me.”

 

“Well, look at this guy, Peloquin3), that one looks more than just Extraordinary.” Mina showed a blurry photograph of a man with what seemed like flagellums on his head and large mouth filled with sharp teeth.

 

“Yeah, and look at those teeth. How about someone less prone to bite?”

 

“Ghostrider… Yauja4)… Deadpool… Foolkiller… Witchblade… Snake Eyes…” Mina read few names from random pages.

 

“Most of these names mean nothing to me.” Orlando slammed the binder shut. “This requires some throughout lecture. Let’s eat a dinner first and then sit down and see what we have there.”

 

“Sounds like good idea.” Mina agreed. “This looks like time consuming lecture and I’m famished.”

 

TBC

* * *

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) Xipe Totec is a name that younger Cenobites gave to one that is commonly known as Pinhead, though it is not advised to call it to his face. In life he was known as Captain Elliott Spenser, though he is far older entity than that. Call it a paradox.

 

2) Also known as the Chatterer (the first and original one). He was killed in the movies but he was supposedly resurrected since then by the same means that Frank Cotton was resurrected in the first Hellraiser movie.

 

3) Nightbreed. Clive Barker again.

 

4) Commonly known as the Predator.


	2. Poison Girl

**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Poison Girl.**

 

 

“ _(…) I did it all just for her_

_I did it all just for her_

_And love's heart is death_

_For me and my poison girl_

 

_And the taste of the poison on her lips is of a tomb_

_(…)_

_And love's heart is death_

_For me and my poison girl_

_In this poison world.” –_ HIM _“Poison Girl”._

 

oOo

 

_London. MI6 HQ. The next day._

 

Mina entered the office of the “M” and sat down. She placed all the materials she has received the day before on the desk. The “M” regarded her for a moment and then took the items.

 

“I understand that you have chosen the candidates.” He finally spoke. His voice was strong, but his hands were slightly trembling and not with nervousness or anticipation. Mina noticed that they shook the day before, which was why she believed him that he was leaving due to health problems.

 

“I have. You will find them in the Dossier. I have allowed myself to unsheathe them and place them on top of other charts.” Mina explained.

 

“Good. Let’s see.” The “M” opened the binder and took out the loose pages. “Tell me, are you ready to take over all of the responsibilities that this office holds?”

 

“I believe I am ready for all kinds of responsibilities.” She replied boldly. She knew that she would have to perform ALL the duties of an “M” not just the ones she was specifically recruited for, but she was confident about her skills and knowledge. After all, her experience reached for over a hundred years, which was already more than any other candidate could ever dream of. Additionally her expertise in the field she would be currently working was also impressive, if from the more practical approach.

 

“No, you’re not.” The “M” smirked. “But no-one is. Fortunately Miss Moneypenny is here and will help you with everything during your adjustment period.” He assured. “I want you to take over as soon as possible.”

 

“How soon it would be?”

 

“As soon as the new team will be assembled and ready to go.” He finally focused on the pages that he took out of the binder. “Now, back to the team.” He studied the pages. “A reasonable choice, though also ambitious. It won’t be easy to recruit them.”

 

“I realize that.” Mina’s eyes focused on the pages. She and Orlando spent half of the night picking these particular candidates. “And this is why I would want to recruit them all personally.”

 

“No. You will personally recruit only the leader of the team. After that you will send them to recruit the rest. After they will be back, you will brief them about the mission and subsequently replace me.” The “M” decided. “Your role in that stage will be the same as the person who had recruited you, if I am not mistaken it was one Campion Bond. After you will assume your duties as an ‘M’, that function will be re-taken by Bill Tanner1), whom you will certainly find just as helpful as Miss Moneypenny.”

 

“You said that it won’t be easy to recruit them, this is why I wanted to do it myself! I don’t want to put anyone in the same position that I was put in upon being recruited.” Mina exploded, if it was her assembly then why wouldn’t it be her job to get them?

 

“If the person you have chosen to be the leader of this team is to have any kind of authority over them and be able to command them, it must be them who will acquire them for your employment.” The “M” patiently explained. “This was the reason why it was you who went to gather your own team.”

 

“I’ve learned that I was chosen by Professor Moriarty for a different reason.” Mina huffed with distaste.

 

“I am aware of why you have been chosen as the leader. What I am referring to is why you have been pursuing your group’s members by yourself.” The “M” carefully ignored her tone and returned the charts of her chosen agents to her. “And this is why whomever you have chosen to be the leader will have to do as you did. Now, that it is clear, you are free to go and engage the leader of your team.”

 

“I see.” She got up and took the charts.

 

“Take the Jihadists folders too. You will need them.” The “M” pointed to the two yellow folders. “Before you will leave, Miss Moneypenny has documents for you to sign.”

 

“Of course.” Mina grabbed the folders and turned to leave. She wasn’t happy about not participating in recruiting the team but she understood the reasoning that “M” presented. “Good day to you, sir.”

 

“Good day to you too.” She heard as she left.

 

oOo

 

Mina closed the door behind her and sighed reminding herself why she was doing any of this. She lifted her head and noticed that Miss Moneypenny was already holding a handful of paper sheets for her to sign without a doubt. She approached the secretary’s desk and took the papers.

 

“What are these?” She asked.

 

“Documents regarding your official employment.” Miss Moneypenny informed her smiling. “Your contract, security clause and insurance papers. All in two copies, one for you and one for me. And this is a form for your pass, if you will send me your photo by e-mail it should be ready for you by the next time you will visit.”

 

“Thank you.” Mina quickly skimmed through the documents, all seemed in order and she signed them. “I will send you the photo as soon as I will arrive home if you will give me your e-mail.”

 

“Splendid.” Miss Moneypenny took the documents and put both sets in white folders. She quickly scribbled something on yellow sticky note and put it in one of the folders. “Here you are. And have a nice day, Miss Murray.”

 

“Good bye Miss Moneypenny.” Mina nodded and headed out. It felt strangely natural for her to say that.

 

oOo

 

Mina watched as the computer screen displayed message that her e-mail has been sent. There it went. She logged out and shot the computer down; she wouldn’t need it for now. She turned her attention to Orlando, who was at the moment munching on some sandwich; it sounded rather crunchy and reminded her that she should also eat something before she will go on her head-hunt.

 

“Mind if I help myself?” Mina asked while reaching and snatching second sandwich from Orlando’s plate.

 

“I could say I do, but it’s already too late.” Orlando observed as her friend bit into the bread. “You’re going today for the search?”

 

“Yes. But I don’t expect it to be easy one.” Mina swallowed her food. “I’ve talked with Norton on my way back.”

 

“What did he say?”

 

“He gave me few clues.” Mine finished the sandwich. “He told me to find a Ratspeaker.” She got up. “Whatever that means.”

 

“Oh! I think I may know.” Orlando groaned. “But to find a Ratspeaker you need to find someone to take you to them.”

 

“Great. Do you know how can I find someone that will take me to a Ratspeaker or do I have to go back to Norton?”

 

“No, I think I know where to find someone like that. At least I used to know.” Orlando shrugged. “Two block down the street, next to a cash machine you should find a homeless man. His name is Iliaster. And if you won’t find him there, ask any of the beggars, they will tell you where to find him.”

 

“OK.” Mina grabbed her purse and went to the door.

 

“You want me to go with you?” Orlando asked.

 

“No, I got it. How do you know all this?” Mina stopped with her hand on the door.

 

“I’m really old, you know.” Orlando replied with rather grim face. “You’ve been to Blazing World so you should be immune, but just be careful.”

 

“Immune? OH GOD! What about others?” Mina turned pale.

 

“They should be safe. I’m not sure how it works though, we had contacts with the London Below back when Prospero led the League but I didn’t pay attention back then. You will have to ask when you get there.”

 

“First I need to get there. Wish me luck.” Mina sighed and left.

 

oOo

 

She found the man easily. He sat at the pavement, covered in dirty, grey blanket, his hair and beard were grey and he had sandals on his feet even though the autumn air wasn’t all that warm any more. The man had a cardboard sign telling ‘PLeeSe Give Jenerus’ and below that was ‘KriPPles’. It was terribly spelled but she got the meaning. She stood in front of him.

 

“Hello, my name is Miss Murray; I am looking for a man named Iliaster.” She spoke hoping that the man would react.

 

The beggar looked up at her and narrowed his eyes. “And what do you want from him?”

 

“This is a business between him and me. But I am willing to indemnify your losses if you will take me to him.” She replied. She didn’t want to waste her time explaining anything to a random man who would take her for a crazy woman.

 

“I would say that I need to know what you want from him, Miss, I do not know your intentions.”

 

Mina sighed, she could stand there are argue for the rest of the day and it would get her nowhere. “I need him to contact me with someone.” She decided to tell as little as possible. “Someone whose services I am in need of. Is that sufficient answer for you?”

 

“That someone whose services you are in need… be they someone who speaks to… someone else?” The man asked smirking. “And be that someone else a rodent?”

 

“So you know what I need?” Mina glared at the man.

 

“Aside for a man? Yes. Come with me, I will take you to the Ratspeakers.” The man got up.

 

The beggar was taller than he seemed when sitting but at the same time he was thin and elderly. Or looked like that. This reminded her of how Allan looked when she met him last time. These were bitter memories that brought tears to her eyes but she had to supress them. This was not the time or the place to mourn.

 

oOo

 

The man led her to an old ruined building where some other beggars resided, then to the smelly basement and then even lower. Mina estimated that they had to be at least at the Underground level but she didn’t knew how much deeper they would get. Finally after second flight of stairs, long and steep stairs as Mina noticed, they have reached a room filled with all kinds of rubbish. It smelled of mould and wet paper. At the far end of the room there was an old closet or large, man-sized cabinet with plastic stripe curtain instead of a door. The man walked to the closet and looked at her, then went inside. Having no other choice she followed in anything would happen; she had a pepper spray with her.

 

Behind the plastic stripe curtain however she didn’t found the old beggar, or rather not only him. There was a whole new world. World filled with people dressed in all kinds of clothes from all historical periods. And these people were busy doing all kinds of things in most noisily way possible.

 

“Lord Ratspeaker!” The old beggar called somewhere below.

 

Immediately someone put a ladder for them. The beggar immediately climbed down and Mina followed him quickly. She didn’t want to get lost in the crowd.

 

“Iliaster, who have you brought to us on this occasion?” A man with rat-face half-mask asked. He wore XVIIth century clothes with matching hat.

 

“This young woman looked for Ratspeaker.” Iliaster replied. “Whatever she wants from you, it is not my business.”

 

“Very well, Iliaster, I am not holding you any further.” The Lord Ratspeaker turned his attention to Mina. “And you, who might you be?”

 

“I am Miss Wilhelmina Murray.” Mina introduced herself. “I am looking for Lady Door for reasons of my own. I have been informed by Mr Andrew Norton that the easiest way to find her would be to do it with your help.”

 

“And why would we help you?” The Lord Ratspeaker asked squinting at her from behind his obnoxious mask.

 

“You would do so because I am an associate of Duke Prospero and work for the Government.” Mina replied dryly. Prospero probably wouldn’t be thrilled about her making references to him, but she wasn’t lying. “I do not ask you to do anything inappropriate either, I merely wish you to pass a message.”

 

“A message.” Lord Ratspeaker rubbed his chin. “To the Lady Door.” He pondered more. “I highly doubt that she would like to talk to you, but I believe we can arrange a message to be sent to her.” He finally decided. “Wait here if you will, I shall presently request a message to be sent, and the reply should arrive soon after.”

 

oOo

 

Mina spent an hour waiting for the reply. In that time she has been proposed with a meal that consisted of roasted cat, which she politely refused, and a cup of tea, which she accepted. Aside from that nothing really happened and she was on a verge of passing out due extreme boredom, when the Lord Ratspeaker returned with an unhappy face. Or at least it seemed so from underneath the mask.

 

“You have your answer.” He spoke calmly. “You are to go to this address and wait there.” He handed her a scrap of paper. “I trust you know your way out?”

 

“I do.” Mina took the piece of paper and headed to the doorway she had arrived by.

 

The ladder awaited her and she climbed in quickly, then she navigated her way up and emerged to the fading light of early autumn evening.

 

oOo

 

When she got to the address it was already dark but she was apparently expected because the lights were on and when she knocked, the door opened immediately. The man that opened her seemed normal enough, he had brown hair and brown eyes and wore brown business suit. After giving him a second glance he looked like some boring type of a man that slips in the background. When he saw her he smiled and he had quite nice smile, for someone so unassuming.

 

“Hello, my name is Richard Mayhew, are you Miss Murray?” He asked letting her in.

 

“Yes, I’m looking for Lady Door.”

 

“She’s not here. I’m sorry but some time ago there was… er… a situation and ever since she prefers to be safe than sorry.” He explained. “She needed to know that you are indeed the one that you claim to be.”

 

“If you need any ID…”

 

“No… well… I’m still new to all of this…“ Richard explained with slight embarrassment.

 

“And what do you actually do?”

 

“I’m an accountant.” He admitted. “Look, I was to make sure that you really are you and not some goon. Okay? And if you are not, I was to call for someone that would take you to Door.”

 

“Well, do I look like a goon?” Mina asked smirking. “I warn you, it’s a tricky question.”

 

“I don’t think you look like someone we’d fear.” Richard blushed a little. “Your guide awaits you in the basement. If you will follow these stairs you will find him easily.”

 

“LORD, another basement.” Mina rolled her eyes. “Thank you.” She muttered and went to the stairs.

 

oOo

 

This time there was only one flight of stairs and there was electric light there. It didn’t smell badly either, or at least not worse than basements usually do. There too were doors, only this time they were in a wall and they were made of wood. She knocked and heard “Come” so she opened them and entered…

 

… To chamber brightly lit with candles which light reflected from mirrors. The effect was so much stronger thanks to impeccably white walls and lightly coloured furniture. And in the middle of all that sat a man. Mina had to take a double take because his looks were disquietingly familiar, yet she knew it was nothing more than coincidence.

 

The man had jet black skin that seemed to absorb all light, his hair was silvery-white and he had crimson red lips2). Aside of that he was tall and wore XVIII French clothes. Seeing Mina he smiled and stood up.

 

“I take you are Miss Murray.” He said and his smile evaporated. “You claim to be associated with the Duke of Milan?”

 

“Prospero. Yes.” She nodded. “Currently I work for British government though.”

 

“These two things don’t exclude each other.” The man narrowed his eyes. “Have you been to Blazing World then?”

 

“I did.” Mina repaid the man with similar stare. “And who are you?”

 

“Forgive my manners.” He blinked and bowed. “Marquis de Carabas. Now, can you tell me how the Blazing Wold looks like?”

 

“It does not unless you have what is today known as 3D glasses.” Mina replied still narrowing her eyes at the Marquis. “And when you do it blazes hence the name.”

 

“Have you met Orlando?”

 

“I have not only met Orlando, I continue to know her.”

 

“Ah. She shifted then.” The Marquis grinned. “I believe I have successfully confirmed that you must be indeed who you claim to be. Apologies for this interrogation, Mademoiselle, but I like to be sure with whom I am talking with. And Lady Door is still careful of who she meets.”

 

“So, will you take me to Lady Door or will I waste more time?” Mine rolled her eyes. The man’s manners were balancing on the edge of being annoying.

 

“She is waiting for you in neighbouring room.” He pointed at the doors that Mina managed to miss. “And, since chances are that we will not see each other, please give my best regards to Orlando.”

 

“Why wouldn’t we see each other again?”

 

“Because the passage you will leave may not be the same that you have arrived through.” Marquis de Carabas explained. “It sometimes happens when Lady Door is involved, but if you know of Lady Door then you also know that.”

 

“I suppose.” Mina sighed. She read about Door’s abilities but she wasn’t sure how it worked. “I shall pass your regards, pray that Orlando harbours good memories of you though, else she may come to find you.”

 

“Does she still have the Durendal?” He asked curiously.

 

“Yes, she does.”

 

“Then I do hope she has good memories of me.” He laughed.

 

Mina ignored the laugh and opened the double door.

 

The second room looked almost the same as the first one, only it had less mirrors. In the middle there was small, round table with two chairs. One of the chairs was already occupied.

 

The girls looked almost identical to the picture Mina had. She wore red-green coat with green-red corset and some sort of skirt with golden belt. She was a brunette, her hair was odd, falling down and curling in separate strands. Her complexion was light and contrasting with both her dark hair as well as her dark cherry lips. Around her right eye there was what seemed to be a tattoo of a keyhole – dark like filled with chalk-white. But this here was not a teenage or adolescent that the photography showed. This was a woman as young as Mina herself was when she first met Campon Bond, and just as experienced by fate.

 

“You must be the associate of Duke of Milan.” Lady Door stood up. “I am Lady Door of house Portico.”

 

“I am pleased to finally meet you, Lady Door.” Mina reached to offer a handshake that the younger woman accepted and they both sat. “I am Miss Wilhelmina Murray.”

 

“I seem to recognise the name.” Door gave the other woman a curious glance. “But the Wilhelmina I know of lived in London Above in over a hundred years ago.”

 

“Indeed, I do not look my age.” Mina smiled faintly returning the stare. Two sets of green eyes met. “But this should not be surprising. Prospero attracts extraordinary gentlefolk and inspired extraordinary in ordinary ones.”

 

“I was informed that you came looking for me. What does Duke Prospero want from me?” Door asked. In London Below Prospero was historical figure that still was greatly respected.”

 

“I was not sent here by Prospero, even though what I come with is generally a continuation of his work.” Mina shook her head. “I am re-constructing the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen for the British government.”

 

“League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? As in the same league that Prospero assembled to honour Queen Gloriana’s wishes?” Door’s eyes grew round. Gloriana3) was yet another great historical figure in London Below.

 

“Yes, or rather no. It would be its fourth instalment that I am aware of.” Mina began to explain. “I come from third one that was called ‘Murray Group’ and just like the second one it was gathered not by Prospero but by British Intelligence4).”

 

“But you said that you know Prospero.”

 

“I do. He re-took command of the League after the Space Invasion in 1898.” Mina continued. “At this point I am charged with re-creating the League for the fourth time.”

 

“Where is my place in all of this?” Door asked. It all sounded fascinating, but she wanted to know what this woman wanted from her.

 

“I come to you with proposition of holding the very same position I used to: leader of your own group.” Mine leaned back in her chair. “I have chosen you just as I myself was chosen by the then ‘M’.”

 

“How can this be? I am not part of the Above government services.”

 

“It is always this way with the League. Its members are always chosen from the outside. Its whole idea was to gather adventurers and people of unusual talents or experience.” Mina elucidated. “I will not lie to you. It is not lady-like occupation and it is hazardous one. Things can and will happen, that you will not like.”

 

“Things that I didn’t like already happened to me.” Door sighed and behind the slight anger in her voice was great grief. “And I did things that weren’t very lady-like.”

 

“Then you have just as much experience as I did before I joined.” Mina allowed herself a sad smile and touched the scarf covering her throat. “And you should do well if you will take my proposition.”

 

“Why do you gather the League?”

 

“I am only allowed to tell you of the reason after you agree. But it is a threat to not only Britain but whole Europe and perhaps the World. And it may affect London Below just as much.” Mina became deadly serious. “I can tell you, however, that your first task would be traveling to each of your team members and convincing them to join your group.”

 

“Why me?” Doors seemed to be surprised to hear that.

 

“So they will perceive you as their natural leader. You gather the team and you lead it. I would prefer of doing it myself, but I was denied. Do not worry. If I managed to do it back in XIXth century, then you should have little trouble with managing in XXIst.”

 

“I need to think about it.” Lady Door decided.

 

“Of course you do. But we do not have much time.” Mine got up. “I need to know your answer as quickly as possible so I can send you on your journey or find someone else.”

 

“I see. But I have a question.” Door rose as well. “Why me? I mean, why do you want me to be the leader?”

 

“I do not know where we got information about you from, but it stated that you have strong personality. Call me a feminist, which I am naturally, but I believe that a woman with strong personality is the best leader for an adventuring bunch.”

 

“So it is not my opener nature?” Door narrowed her eyes slightly.

 

“Your skills got you on my list; your personality placed you in the first position.” Mina ignored the stare. “Does that answer your question?”

 

“For now. Last question. Who would be in my team?

 

“Four individuals. But this is all I can tell you now.” Mina decided that she revealed enough already.

 

“I will give you my answer tomorrow.” Door decided that it was the end of their conversation. “I will let you out now. Will the Oxford Street will be fine?” She walked to a large view of a street.

 

“Thank you. And yes.” Mina approached the photograph. She didn’t know what to expect, but it looked like she would now learn how the whole ‘opening’ worked. “How will you contact me?”

 

“Meet me by Edward Hyde’s statue in Hyde Park tomorrow at noon.” Door instructed and touched the photograph.

 

A blot of blue spread from her fingers flooding the photograph and then spreading on the wall until it became as large as a doorframe, then the wall beneath it opened to the street from the photograph.

 

“Amazing.” Mina observed the process with fascination. “Thank you for your time and see you tomorrow.”

 

Mine walked through the ‘doors’ and found herself on Oxford Street, when she looked back the passage was gone, it just melted back or maybe evaporated. She called for a cab that would take her home.

 

oOo

 

_Later, Mina and Orlando flat._

 

“And you had no problems calling a taxicab?” Orlando asked after Mina told her about what happened.

 

“No. I guess the immunity does work. Do you really think it is only thanks to the Blazing World or that the Pool too?”

 

“Blazing World.” Orlando replied without moment of hesitation. “The London Below is a relic5) from the time of the faerie purge of Jacob3). Prospero told me once that before Oberon severed all ties with our realm, he left himself a failsafe option to return here if something happened to Faerieland.”

 

“But people live there.”

 

“The London Below was originally populated by few chosen families related to faerie race. To secure them from Jacob, Oberon had the London Below enchanted so you can enter it but never leave. Then he constituted its own laws and gathered them in a document called The Charter. Aside from actual legal acts it also states who has immunity of enchantment and who and how can leave the London Below.” Orlando continued explaining. “The people that live there are either members of these faerie families or random people who stumbled across it and never managed to leave.”

 

“Speaking of which. I would almost forget. Marquis de Carabas sends his best regards.” Mina almost smirked. “He was familiar with you.”

 

“It’s possible he does. He met Prospero’s League when he was but a small boy.” Orlando sighed. “He has a lot of faerie blood in him, which shows in his personality.”

 

“He is all grown up now, I can tell you.” Mina noted.

 

“I didn’t expect him to still be alive.” Orlando laughed an evil little giggle. “He was a pesky little brat but he was amusing too.”

 

“I think he is now pesky large brat.” Mina summarised the Marquis. “Door wants to meet me tomorrow to give me her answer.”

 

“You want me to go with you?” Orlando asked.

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“I’d like to meet her in person. Her family was one of the most influential of the faerie half-breeds during Queen Gloriana’s reign.” Orlando admitted. “I am curious.”

 

“Suit yourself. She wants to meet tomorrow at Hyde’s statue.”

 

“Hyde park is now closed.”

 

“It’s probably why she wants to meet there.” Mina shrugged. “We will be alone there.”

 

oOo

 

_Hyde Park, statue of Edward Hyde, the next day._

 

It was beautiful autumn midday; the sun shone nicely warming the air. The statue of Edward Hyde was covered in green rot. The nearby tripod was so rusted that it seemed it would fall to dust at the first stronger gust of wind. The place was closed now, it was meant to be renewed for the past couple of years and some works were indeed performed, but it dragged due to bureaucratic reasons and lack of funds. It just showed how modern society cared about its past saviours and their sacrifices. Of course anyone with understanding of history better than events of last weekend would admit that Edward Hyde was no society loving humanist, quite the contrary but his personality traits didn’t make his sacrifice any smaller.

 

Mina walked to the crumbling concrete pedestal and circled it to find the place where a plate covered with green patina read ‘Monstrous, he died for Mankind.” The names of the persona were barely readable. She gently struck the place and looked back at Orlando.

 

“You know, I’ve been there when it happened. I saw him dying there. He said that he will end up looking noble while he only wants to slaughter something. I remember as if it happened last week.” Mina said and looked up at the statue. “Nemo said that he taught them terror.”

 

“He probably did.” Orlando agreed. “But they have deserved that I guess.”

 

“They were the enemy.” Mina sighed. “And their deeds were horrific.”

 

“Who would be the enemy you want me to fight?” A strong voice startled both women.

 

They looked around but there was no one to be seen and they would hear someone approaching them since except for them the park was empty. Only after a moment a lone figure emerged from behind the memorial.

 

The girl wore green and red coat, knee high leather boots and some sort of skirt. She looked generally punk.

 

No ordinary person could approach them without their knowledge, but this young woman was extraordinary.

 

“Lady Door, it is good to see you. I understand that your question means that you have made your decision?” Mina momentarily regained her composure.

 

“I do and it didn’t come easy.” Door admitted. “I had to make sure that the people I would work with were safe and the Marquis was discouraging me, claiming that it was too dangerous.”

 

“But you came here and from your question I assume that you agree.” Mina spoke, she felt odd, it looked like she succeeded but it didn’t feel half as good as she thought it would.

 

“The Charter allows certain exceptions of the enchantment.” Door nodded. “And while I am now the only remaining member of House Portico, I am also a woman. As unfair as it sounds I need to make a name for myself and gain authority by courageous deeds so when the time will come for me to restore my family I will not be seen as just a wife to a husband but the first of house that I truly am.”

 

“Does that mean that you are ready?” Mina asked.

 

“I will be after I change to travelling clothes.” Door admitted. She now realised that if she would to move outside of enchantment people from the World Above would start to notice her and standing out would not help her. She was also starting to feel little cold. In the London Below the seasons weren’t as evident and Above.

 

“In that case, meet us at QueeQueg’s in two hours.” Orlando proposed. “And be sure to have a change of clothes.”

 

“I will be prepared.” Door assured. “And you are?”

 

“This is Orlando.” Mina gestured to her short haired friend.

 

“Orlando… Marquis de Carabas told me about you.” Door smirked and then vanished behind the memorial. When they peeked after her she was not there.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

I am leading Mina to be more like her Victorian Era self. In 1969 Mina admitted that she was trying to stay young and behaved due to the epoch, in 2009 she admitted that London looked Victorian and she could almost feel at home there.

 

1) What can I say? Moneypenny and Tanner – a small treat for all the Bond enthusiasts.

 

2) Naturally I base this on the comic book or graphic novel (which is just a fancy name for a comic book) and not the TV show or its direct novelisation. The comic book allowed more freedom of expression than the TV show did and fits better to a story built entirely on comic book characters that are throws into yet another comic book reality.

 

3) Gloriana is the LoEG version of Queen Elizabeth I, and just like in real world she is succeeded by King Jacob I Stuart.

 

4) Originally it was MI5 but then again they got involved with MI6 in Black Dossier (Jimmy Bond is based on James Bond after all), and in Century: 2009 Orlando goes to MI6 to get help with finding Mina. And finally, most people connect “M” with James Bond who works in MI6. How it all would get so tangled then, you ask? My explanation: reforms and shifts of responsibilities, blame it all on bureaucracy and politicians.

 

5) Its a crafty explanation for why Mina didn’t share Richard’s fate. Plus it places Neverwhere in LoEG nicely.


	3. Switch me on, turn me up

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Switch me on, turn me up.**

 

 

“ _Dial up my number now_

_Weaving it through the wire_

 

_**Switch me on** _

_**Turn me up** _

_Don't want it Baudelaire_

_Just glitter lust_

 

_Switch me on_

_Turn me up_

_I want to touch you_

_You're just made for love(…).” –_ Goldfrapp _“Ooh-La-La”._

 

oOo

 

_Tesladyne Island. Two days later._

 

It was a bedlam. Vik was explaining the idea of mounting rocket engines on an asteroid while Bernard was calmly explaining that the probability of them ever managing to get that done was slim given the amount of fuel they needed. Lang was siding with Vik but only on the part of getting the engines on the asteroid but she agreed with Bernard on his doubts of getting them there. Julie kept calling Vik delusional and Phil stayed silent, waiting for his turn to speak. Jenkins ignored everything in favour of what seemed to be sleeping with his eyes open.

 

“… and I’m telling you, but you don’t listen. You need fuel to lift the rocket to the orbit, you need more fuel to lift the asteroid-engines in the holding area of the rocket, and then you need fuel for the engines. And then you need more fuel just to get the remaining fuel that you haven’t burned yet but you will.” Bernard continued. “That’s a lot of fuel and there is no way we can avoid costs that are astronomic.”

 

“You can always build a Space Lift. Sure the initial cost will be massive, but after that everything gets cheaper and cheaper until it costs you nothing.” Vik kept to his idea.

 

“Then you need the same amount of fuel to get the lift to the orbit AND then get the engines there anyway.” Bernard didn’t seem impressed. “The costs go up because you need to get a crew for the lift and the crew for the asteroid and you need to get them there safely.”

 

“Vik, why do you even need to get the rocket asteroid?” Julia asked Vik. “And I do not take ‘to give Jupiter some bruises’ as an answer. That’s not even a science!”

 

“It is a science, but you do not do it that way!” Lang shook her head.

 

“… and then you need to get to steer the thing and avoid collisions which needs more fuel…” Bernard continued his monotone monologue.

 

“Then why not use nuclear power? We do use it to power submarines.” Vik proposed.

 

“Oh no, no nuclear fuel.” Phil decided to protest. “I’m sure it would break some international law. And if it didn’t, then it would still be dangerous, if anything would happen and the remains would crush they would leak radiation and THAT would break international laws.”

 

“… and more fuel… “Bernard stuck to his version.

 

“How about producing some fuel in space?” Vik asked.

 

“From what, we’re not sure what we would find on that asteroid.” Julia huffed. “And you would need to get people there in the first place.”

 

“Robo could…” Vik wouldn’t give up.

 

“That’s only one Robo and you need entire crew.” Julia pointed out.

 

“And that means nuclear fuel for Robo…” Bernard caught up with the conversation.

 

“And if that wouldn’t break the international laws then if there would be any accident and the remains would fall down, they would start to leak radiation… “Phil repeated himself.

 

“Robo!” The door opened and head of one of the assistants appeared. The argument didn’t cease so the assistant gestured for the head of Tesladyne to come out of the room.

 

Robo nodded and then turned to Jenkins. “Take over; make sure they won’t kill each other.” He asked.

 

“Will do.” Jenkins didn’t even blink.

 

Robo walked to the assistant that waited for him in the doors. The arguing scientists didn’t even notice that their boss left the room. They started to argue about making fuel out of resources on Mars (that they would totally have to fly by anyway, or at least make a stop there to get the resources and set there a base while on their way).

 

oOo

 

Robo left the room with well hidden relief. It started as purely theoretical dispute about the value of exploration of Jupiter that led to Shoemaker-Levi 9 comet impact which somehow mutated into idea of doing the same but with an asteroid and on purpose. He was just glad that they didn’t try to build giant cannon to shoot asteroids at the Jupiter. But then again, this was Adventure Science and it was all about crazy ideas.

 

“What’s going on?” Robo asked.

 

“There’s someone for you.”

 

“Can’t they wait? It’s delicate situation there and I left them with Jenkins.”

 

“She says that she’s from MI6.” The assistant explained. “And she didn’t come by plane… or boat for that matter.”

 

“This is an island, how else could she come?” Robo’s optic opened in full.

 

“Maybe she swam?” The assistant shrugged. “You can ask her yourself, she’s waiting in the lobby. Jerry gave her tea.”

 

“Tea?”

 

“She’s British, no?”

 

“Riiiight.” Robo stomped away. He hoped it wasn’t anything regarding his problems with Majestic 12 or Delphi.

 

It was a short walk to his office but he took a longer turn just to have few more minutes to think. This surely wasn’t that loon, Doctor Dinosaur, and hopefully it wasn’t Helsingard related.

 

He reached his office and sat down behind his desk. He activated his communication array and asked Jerry to send his guest in. He would now find out what it was all about (and hopefully, please, please, please, not Doctor Dinosaur again, he had enough of nonsense for one day).

 

The doors opened and he saw a young woman that definitely didn’t look like some British bureaucrat. Her hair was too wild, her attire not black enough and she wasn’t stiff enough. And she was pretty enough to catch an eye (which excluded certain Oviraptor awkwardly dressed up as a human woman).

 

She moved with grace and as she walked, he could see that her very dark green and red coat hid matching set of rather revealing corset and what seemed like jodhpurs with golden belt and knee high leather boots. The corset and trousers were very dark red and green. This was definitely not an agent of any kind of secret service.

 

“Please, sit.” He got up and gestured to the chair across from him. “Before you will say anything, don’t bother. I know you’re not MI6 because you do not look like MI6 and you do not have an air of MI6 and you certainly do not move like MI6. So, who sent you, and could you please not ruin my office while you try to kill me, I like it.”

 

The girl blinked with her intense, dark green eyes while her dark, cherry lips opened and closed few times as she tried to gather her thoughts to reply. Finally, she sighed and refocused on her host.

 

“My name is Lady Door of house Portico.” She started calmly, she expected that it wouldn’t come easy but she didn’t expect that this one would be so forward. “And I do, indeed, work for British Government even though it is a temporary employment.”

 

“I remain sceptical.” Robo cocked his head to the sight. “You do look like some crazy noble kid could. But your name doesn’t sound like one of the British high breed.”

 

“My history is long and complicated. And I am far from being a child, insane or otherwise.” Door leaned back; this would be harder than she thought. She expected that her first target wouldn’t be easy to persuade but she did not think he’d be so straightforward. “I really am coming to you with a proposal.”

 

“Go ahead, I’m listening, what do I have to lose here?” Robo rested his chin in his palm. “Beside time.”

 

“Have you ever heard of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?” Door asked. This seemed like the best possible starting point.

 

“I’ve heard some stories.” Robo admitted. “All of them from before I was made.”

 

“I can tell you that it was a real thing. The first one dating as far as to XVIIth century and in various forms it was cultivated through centuries.” Door explained. “The one you have heard of was probably the last one.”

 

“And what it has to do with me?”

 

“The MI6 is reactivating the League.” Door stated as if it was most common occurrence in the world. “You are being invited to become a member of the new group.”

 

“Why would… “Robo made gesture as if he was to pinch the bridge of his nose, if he had one. “What do I owe the enormous honour? I’m not even a British.”

 

“Many past members of the League originated from outside of England and I was informed that you are free to work for whomever you so choose as an independent contractor.” Door looked straight into the gigantic, blue optics of the robotic man across from her. “No one is forcing you, sir, but you have been chosen for a reason.”

 

“Can this get any more absurd?” Robo’s optic shutters closed into equivalent of narrowed eyes. “I’m in no mood for making wild guesses about who sent you so why won’t you save us time and just tell me?”

 

“Like I have already said, I currently work for MI6.” Door felt that she was repeating herself. It was starting to irritate her. “I have been charged with recruiting members of the League.” She added for sake of clarity. “Of course the reasons behind reassembling it can only be revealed if and after you choose to join and sign the security clearance documents.”

 

“Why I am not surprised?” He asked with what served him as bored face. “You do realise that the story with security clearance doesn’t work for me?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I have worked with British Intelligence before and I have their security clearance.” Robo stated. “I have fought in three separate wars where we were cooperating; I couldn’t get anything done without it.”

 

“That changes a lot.” Door admitted. She already has been instructed about the security measures that she would have to keep. “Is it still valid?”

 

“I surely hope so. I’ve just re-signed it.”

 

“Can I see it to confirm?” She asked. If he had valid security clearance it would make everything so much easier.

 

“There’s nothing classified in the clearance as such.” Robo stood up and walked to one of cabinets in his office. “I see no harm.” He pulled one piece of paper from a drawer and gave it to Door. The clearance in itself was simple documents, the appendix however was monstrous, but that detail was not the issue.

 

Door read the documents and checked the dates and signatures. It was recently signed and valid, more so, it had higher authorisation than hers. The signature of the ‘M’ was the same that was on her own clearance even though she knew that the clearances of the rest of the team would bear different signatures.

 

“It seems that I am free to pass everything I know to you.” She returned the document to him. “Two archivists from MI6 transgressed to ISIS, they have stolen certain old files from the archives they’ve been working in.” She recapitulated all she was told. “We are talking about historical files that can be dangerous. These suspicions are confirmed by the ISIS jihadists’ behaviour. I have been given electronic versions of their files.” Door took a pen drive out of a pocket. “With your security clearance you are free to view them.”

 

Robo glared at the pen drive for a moment and then took it and put it aside.

 

“It sounds like something that could happen.” He started. “But anyone can put a story like that together. I have already fallen for a cock-and-bull story like that once and it almost killed me.”

 

“I understand. And I assure you that this is a real problem. I can prove everything I claim.” Door promised.

 

“I wonder how?”

 

“Firstly, the personal files of our terrorists are on that device.” She pointed at the pen drive. “Secondly, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was and is an actual entity that gathers incongruous individuals, be that by their nature, talents, personal traits or experience.” She stood up. “I can show you something that will make you more receptive to the idea.”

 

“Sorry but I am immune to hallucinogenic mushrooms.”

 

“You mentioned my name before. Do you know where it comes from?” She ignored the ‘mushroom’ comment.

 

“No, but you will tell me without a doubt.”

 

“I come from a long line of Openers.” She continued.

 

“Is that related to beer brewing?”

 

“Your security is wondering how I got to this island I imagine.” Door chose to just ignore his chipping in and just offered her hand to him. “Come, I will show you how I did it.” She smirked and very noticeable glint appeared in her eyes. Robo couldn’t miss it even if he wanted.

 

“Is this the part where you’ll try to assassinate me?” He asked trying to retain the bravado that was now dissolving. “Because I must warn you, I am bulletproof and you can forget about stabbing or poisonous shots.”

 

“I was sent here to recruit one Doctor Atomic Robo Tesla1), don’t tell me I’ve strayed and found one Coward.” She wriggled her fingers to indicate that she was waiting for him to take her hand.

 

“I give you that, Miss, you’ve bothered to pay attention to my full name, which is already more than most do.” He decided to do his best to safe what served as his face and took her hand. “What now, Hansel and Gretel stroll around the woods?”

 

“Vast woods are yet to come should you agree.” Door pulled him to one of the walls, where a large picture of an Inca temple hung. “But we will now enjoy something more ecclesial.”

 

She touched the picture and a blue, liquid light engulfed it and a good portion of the wall. Robo never seen anything like that. Especially that suddenly the picture seemed to gain more dimensions than just the two it had before. He wanted to ask what was going on but he was pulled in.

 

There were few precious things that could render Atomic Robo speechless. Things that Jenkins could do (and disturbingly enough, enjoyed doing) to vampires. The amount of alcohol humans could consume and survive even if theoretically it should kill them. Ideas that kids have. Idiocy of Dr Dinosaur. Now he had to add another one to his list: Lady Door of house Portico’s gift.

 

He looked around and saw that he stood in front of an Inca temple that he shouldn’t be in. Not only because a moment before he was in his office but also because it was still unavailable for tourists… most of them anyway (if he looked well enough he’d probably find some candy bar wrappers and some used condoms, he was willing to bet on that).

 

If he was breathing he would sigh, but he wasn’t so he allowed himself a moment of silence before he could form a coherent sentence.

 

“Now, I know this is not happening because it can’t be happening.” He started. “We do not have any working teleportation technology because Mr Tesla never finished it and I never got to working on it!”

 

“Believe me, it is happening.” Door laughed a little. “Look.” She pointed at the area they came from and there it was: a rectangular hole in thin air leading to his office.

 

“I am either starting to finally lose it.” Robo stared at his office. “Or someone is pranking me.”

 

“No, this is really happening.” Door took his hand and led him back.

 

This time he observed closely what was happening. They were in Inca city and then they were back in his office. The moment they changed their locations was unlike if he simply walked through the door from one room to another. Only in this case he was walking from one part of the world to another… which was equally appropriate description in both cases actually. When he looked back at where they came from his wall was solid again and the photo looked flat and normal.

 

“You didn’t teleport us to Southern America.” Robo stated looking back at his guest. “It wasn’t teleportation! It was space warping!”

 

“I’m not in habit of explaining myself or my abilities.” Door stated. “But I believe you wrapped it just right.”

 

“Like in theories of travel faster than speed of light!” Robo continued. “The question is: how did you do that?”

 

“Call it phenomenon perhaps?” Door proposed with smirk of someone who knew more than they intended to share.

 

“Scientists…” Robo started.

 

“NOW do you believe me?” Door cut in. She knew he was a scientist and that it was fascinating for him and he could coo over it for weeks if not months but she didn’t have time or patience for that.

 

“What?” He snapped out of his small world of scientific wonderment.

 

“Do you believe me now?” She repeated.

 

“Just because you have some crazy super power doesn’t mean that what you say isn’t complete baloney.”

 

“Do you really think I could be bothered to come here just to tell you nonsense?” Door asked. “And to what purpose?”

 

“I’ve seen crazier things. Talking dinosaurs, Vrill organ transplantations, monsters from beyond space and time.”

 

“I have faced fallen angels and opened doors to black holes.” Door replied. “What I’m telling you is true. Answer me this, how many times people thought you to be crazy or lying?”

 

Robo glared at the girl in front of him for a moment recalling the time when he contacted Dr Carl Sagan in ’71 2) regarding that monster from beyond the universe. And how Dr Sagan hung up on him. Twice. And dozens of similar situations… like when he had to explain the Vampire Dimension to Bernard back in ’99 3)… well not the dimension as such, rather the vampire part. He always felt silly about that because people assumed that vampires will be the actual vampires and not things that are vampires only because they didn’t have a better name for blood guzzling forever young monstrosities. But who wouldn’t feel silly explaining that?

 

“Fine. I think.” He finally said and sat behind his desk again. “I deal with crazy way more often that it is healthy. But you’re still need to tell me why you’re here before I will make up my mind.”

 

“I thought I have been clear.”

 

“No. I know why you’re head-hunting for team members.” Robo explained. “But why are you head-hunted me? And not, say, Foolkiller4)? Or… Punisher or Deadpool?”

 

“Foolkiller?”

 

“You never met him. But you know what I mean.”

 

“It is a pattern5) we are following here.” Door explained. She was curious and asked pretty much the same question, which was answered in detail by Mina and Orlando when they talked in QueeQueg’s. “There is always a science prodigy, an adventurer, a traveller, a free thinker, and someone monstrous. Sometimes there is someone with medical experience. And in the past we had wizards and occultists. Usually the intended leader recruits the group, often starting with one that will serve as their second in command. After that they recruit the rest of the team.”

 

“If I get this right, I am to be the SIC and the scientist of the group while you are the leader and…”

 

“A bit of an adventurer and free thinker, I believe.” Door shrugged. “I take that you agree.”

 

“I haven’t said that.”

 

“Didn’t you?”

 

“I… you got me interested, I give you that.” Robo admitted. “And now you will tell me that we’re in hurry.”

 

“We’re in hurry.” Door repeated. “If you are agreeing then read the files.” She pointed at the pen drive. “If you’re refusing then return it and I will not bother you anymore.”

 

Robo stared at Door unblinkingly and then glared at the pen drive. ‘Two jihadists on the loose?” He asked and reached for the pen drive. “Can I read those before I decide?”

 

“You have the clearance. But I’d rather have your answer today.”

 

“Let’s see.” He opened his laptop and inserted the memory stick. He read the files and pondered for a moment. “There’s not much here.”

 

“We are not certain what they have stolen exactly. We only know that the documents pre-date Industrial Revolution and are not of British origin. Now they’re moving across Europe.”

 

“Whatever caught their attention, it must be nasty.” Robo theorised.

 

“Are you in?”

 

“I’d like the idea much more if it included my team.” He admitted.

 

“I know that Tesladyne is UN sanctioned. But the MI6 invitation includes only you.”

 

“I need to make sure that I can leave my team safely.” He finally decided. “And I still say it’s ridiculous.”

 

“You should prepare yourself for whole lot more ridiculousness then.” Door laughed with humour. “I’d like to reach our next target today.”

 

“How?”

 

“Must I show you again?”

 

“No. And no.” Robo got up and returned the pen drive to the young woman. “It’s already late and I still need to prepare my company for my absence.” He continued. “And I do not want to travel like that if I don’t have to. It makes my optics water.”

 

“But you’re a robot, your eyes don’t water.”

 

“My point exactly.” Robo walked to the door. “We’ll fly, I’ll have plane ready for tomorrow morning.”

 

“Tomorrow?” Door eyes widened.

 

“Don’t worry; you’ll get a guest room. And Jerry will direct you to cafeteria if you’re hungry.”

 

“It will not necessary.” Door followed her host. “I will arrive tomorrow morning. Just tell me when I am to be ready.”

 

“Say, eight in the morning.” Robo closed the door behind her. “That’s eight of the local time.”

 

“Of course. I will be waiting for you in the lobby.” Door presented a megawatt smile. “Until then.”

 

“Wait. Who will we be getting?”

 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” She said and left the building.

 

“She’s pretty.” Jerry noticed. “That smile could blind a man.”

 

“Then wear sun glasses.” Robo wasn’t in the mood for this kind of conversation. “Call the hangar and tell them to prepare the BJ6) for tomorrow morning. And tell Powell to get me something nasty.”

 

“Will do.” Jerry wasted no time and connected to the aircraft hangar crew as Robo walked away.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

**Spoiler alert: this paragraph contains spoilers.**

“ **Flying She-Devils of the Pacific” and before “Savage Sword of Doctor Dinosaur”, or post his upcoming 10** **th** **volume. In “Savage Sword” Robo gets sent to the past which makes him unusable unless after the upcoming 10** **th** **volume and we know that he will be back and victorious because in Free Comic Issue 5 he is showed in August 2021 hiring one Emma Armstrong.**

 

1) That is his full name and he reveals that in “Shadow from Beyond Time, 4th issue.

2) Shadow from Beyond Time, issue 4.

3) Revenge of Vampire Dimension, issue1.

4) Foolkiller, current’s Foolkiller real name is Michael Trace. He was one of the candidates I was thinking of to put into my fic, but I didn’t because I’m not that much into Marvell. Same with Punisher and Deadpool. Deadpool is also too intense.

5) The pattern is clearly seen in the three main leagues (the ones mentioned by Orlando in BD, I will be treating the remaining ones as simply continuations of the main ones, just like “Murray Group” from Century is continuation from the first two issues). Though it is not very strict, the usual make-up contains people with qualities that repeat in every group.

6) That’s for Business Jet, the one Robo has is Cessna Citation X.


	4. Beautiful Peoople

**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Beautiful People.**

 

 

“ _(…)The worms will live in every host_

_It's hard to pick which one they eat most_

_The horrible people, the horrible people_

_It's as anatomic as the size of your steeple_

_Capitalism has made it this way_

_Old-fashioned fascism will take it away_

 

_Hey you, what do ya see?_

_Something beautiful or something free?_

_Hey you, are you trying to be mean?_

_You live with apes man, it's hard to be clean_

 

_There's no time to discriminate_

_Hate every motherfucker that's in your way (…).” –_ Marilyn Manson _“Beautiful People”_ _1_ _)._

 

oOo

 

_Tesladyne Island. The next morning._

 

Robo was as ready as he would ever be. It wasn’t anything special to him. Being in three wars and countless special operations made him hard to impress but also taught him to expect nonsense of the kind that he never seen before. It that aspect life was unpredictable – every time he thought he saw everything something new occurred, so he stopped thinking that he saw everything.

 

He was packed, all his stuff was already on the plane. Now he just sauntered to the lobby, somehow he expected the girl to be there. His men were not too thrilled by the news but he was the boss. Jenkins wasn’t thrilled either, but he was also accepting. He was also a bit offended that he couldn’t go along but Robo explained that he needed someone in Tesladyne to call him should anything bad happen… like Vik trying to actually build a rocket to go to Mars to make fuel to go to some Asteroid to launch it at Jupiter. Jenkins accepted such an explanation but still wasn’t happy to stay behind.

 

And speaking of the wolf… Jenkins was approaching Robo.

 

“Leaving already?” The man asked.

 

“Waiting for Door and then leaving.” Robo affirmed. “You’re still pouting?”

 

“No.”

 

“But?”

 

“Are you taking it easy on me because I’m turning grey?” The man asked glaring at his boss.

 

“Why should I, you’re still younger than I am.” Robo joked but he knew it didn’t have any effect on his ‘sidekick’. “I’m not taking it easy on you. And you and your aging have nothing to do with you staying here. Heaven doesn’t want you and hell’s too scared that you’ll do to them the same thing you do to vampires.”

 

“Heh.”

 

“I told you already, I need you to make sure they’re too scared of you to pull any risky stunt.”

 

“Yeah.” Jenkins gave Robo a glare that was so old fashioned one could call it ancient. “You just want the girl for yourself.”

 

“Door? I’m not into kids.” Robo huffed in his own way. “If she was any younger she’d be a teen.”

 

“She’s pretty?”

 

“See for yourself.” Robo gave Jenkins his version of sneaky glare as they entered the lobby. “She’ll be here any moment.”

 

“She’s already here.” Jerry smiled knowingly and pointed at the far end of the lobby where a lonesome feminine figure stood.

 

She was wearing the same coat as the day before and that was pretty much everything Robo could tell as she was standing with her back to them, observing something behind the window.

 

When she heard their voices she turned and beamed. Her colour scheme remained untouched but her attire was slightly different, the revealing corset disappeared, replaced with a waistcoat with white, equally revealing shirt.

 

“I have left my baggage in the hangar, the charming young man promised to put it in your aircraft.” She marched to Robo and Jenkins. “Are you ready? We have two places to visit today.”

 

“And this is Door.” Robo turned to Door. “Door, this is Jenkins.”

 

“Charmed.” Door shook Jenkins hand.

 

“Why don’t you go to the hangar? I’ll be there in a moment.” Robo asked.

 

“Don’t take too long. The sooner we’re done the sooner we’re on the case.” Door smiled at Jenkins and marched out of the lobby using the actual doors.

 

“Aaaand?” Robo re-focused on his old friend.

 

“If I was younger…” Jenkins grinned.

 

“Talk is cheap.” Robo replied with humour. “Just keep them from blowing this island up.”

 

“Will do.” Jenkins stopped grinning. “And good luck.”

 

“I’d don’t do minors.”

 

“Good look with your mission and not crashing the plane.” Jenkins specified.

 

“Very funny.” Robo huffed through his vents and walked away.

 

Behind him Jenkins smirked and walked in his own direction.

 

oOo

 

_Tesladyne hangar._

 

“So, where are we going?” Robo asked when they were boarding the plane. “You know, I’m asking because I’d like to know where I’m flying to.”

 

“You will be managing this vehicle?” Door asked. To her piloting a plane was rather exotic skill. Though he had to admit to herself that to her companion it was probably less unusual than her own method of travelling.

 

“Who else?” Robo asked surprised.

 

“I guess you’re right.” Door shrugged. “It is new to me though.”

 

“Riiight… You just walk wherever you need to go.” Robo gave the girl flat stare, or as flat as he could manage.

 

“Pretty much. I’m rather urban type.”

 

“There’s the first time for everything.” He did his best attempt at shrugging. “Relax, I have plenty of experience and unless someone attacks us I’ll get you there safely.” He promised. “And now, where is the ‘there’?”

 

“A place called Area 51.” She said as if she was speaking of the nearest mall.

 

“What?”

 

“An air force base, I am told. Our target is held in one of their facilities. He is an enemy airman.” Door informed. “The authorities of the base are already informed about our visit and are expecting us.”

 

“With this group being what it is, do I even want to know what makes him so extraordinary?”

 

“Would you like me to recapitulate his personal dossier right now?”

 

Robo glared at the girl, the sight was far from unpleasant but the situation made his head ache.

 

“The flight will take some time so you can tell me all about him when we’re up there.” He decided. “And while you’ll be at it, I’d like to know more about the rest of our targets.”

 

“Won’t it distract you from piloting?”

 

“Not more than it would if I was driving a car. Besides, up there is pretty empty and I will switch to auto-pilot anyway.” He opened the door to the cockpit and walked in.

 

“Splendid!” Door smiled. “Let’s hurry then.”

 

Robo sat in the pilot’s seat and gestured for Door to take the second pilot’s seat. She wouldn’t be doing any piloting but she would be telling him what there was to know about their future team-mates so it would make it easier if she was there.

 

oOo

 

They have landed without trouble; Area 51 had excellent landing strips. There was a man awaiting them when they finally left the plane. He was a colonel with short, spiky hair that looked like some bird had a nest in it. He winced due to intense, desert sun. Robo knew the type: easy going, happy go lucky with strong sense of duty. There were many people who would claim that Robo fitted the description just as well as the colonel did.

 

“Hi, name’s Colonel Sheppard.” The man shook hands with both Robo and Door; they’ve noticed that he was wearing pair of fingerless gloves. “You’re lucky you caught me here, I spend most the time in Pegasus.” He added not caring if they knew what he was talking about. “Otherwise it’d be someone else with you now.”

 

“You know why we are here?” Door asked the man.

 

“You’re here for our charming ‘guest’.” The Colonel allowed the air quotes fall silently in their places. “Let’s get out of this sun before my skin’ll peel off.”

 

“So, I take that you have nothing against us borrowing him?” Robo questioned. He spend quite a portion of the flight wondering what and why he was doing and if Door wasn’t nuts after all.

 

“None whatsoever.” Colonel confirmed leading them to one of the buildings. “Technically he’s not American citizen. If anything, he’s the closest to being Canadian2) and only because he crashed near the border and wandered to our soil.”

 

“Does that make him an illegal immigrant?” Robo asked jokingly.

 

“He’s the most illegal one that exist.” Sheppard smirked. “But since he landed in Canada which is British Commonwealth member, then in _theory_ , there is no problem with him remaining under British custody.”

 

“How about practice?” Robo held the door for Door.

 

“Practice? Take him out of my hair for as long as you want.” Sheppard suddenly turned serious. “Just don’t lose him permanently. The guy’s a freakin’ space vampire than feeds on people.”

 

“That much we are aware.” Door finally spoken. “My superiors talked with your superiors about this, I trust you know what they agreed to?”

 

“Yeah, I got lectured about it.” Sheppard allowed his eyes to linger for a bit on the attractive woman. “Todd says that he will take him back and won’t execute him on the spot.”

 

“Who?” Robo’s optics shone in the semi-darkness.

 

“His past and future boss. There was a mutiny; Spike was in the mutinous crew… never mind. It’s a long story that you do not want to hear.” Sheppard waved his hand dismissively. “And I don’t have the time or mood to tell.”

 

“You’re in a hurry, Colonel?” Door sent the Colonel curious and intense stare.

 

“I’m to leave for Pegasus in the afternoon.” He explained still not caring if the name meant anything to them. “Let’s go to our little jail bird and be done with it.”

 

oOo

 

The prison didn’t look like prison at all. It was sterile looking room with Plexiglas box in the middle. It had small round holes for the air to be able to get into the box. In the middle was a cot with grey blanket and white pillow. And on the cot sat the man they were after. Robo assumed it was safe to call him a man since it was a male of the species.

 

Seeing he was having guests the prisoner rose to his feet. He was wearing grey jumpsuit and had simple slip on shoes. Under the jumpsuit was a simple, white undershirt. Certainly not the prisoner’s original outfit.

 

The prisoner himself was a tall man, he was about two meters tall3), slim but not beanpole, rather lissom. His hair were reaching to his shoulders and where white, in the dim light it was hard to determine if he was grey or platinum blonde. His skin was pale and the light made it hard to tell what possible tone it could be, the light was giving it a slightly blueish tint with visible veins. From then on his features were becoming less and less human. His eyes had vertical pupils and plain, amber irises. He had no eyebrows. And there were pits on each side of his nose. Robo wasn’t able to tell if they were viper pits or perhaps additional nostrils. To add a bit more oddity, the alien had a goatee.

 

“Hiyya, Spike.” Sheppard said with faint mocking hint in his otherwise solemn voice. “I brought you some guests.”

 

That was met with atavistic hiss that also revealed needle like teeth of the prisoner who concentrated on the colonel.

 

“And now the usual litany of hisses and ‘I am your death’ usually comes.” Sheppard informed the other two. “They all say that when captured. After the first time it stopped impressing me.”

 

“I was informed that he reacts hostile to his handlers.” Door replied. “I believe it is only natural in position he finds himself in.”

 

“It would make everyone’s life easier if he’d walk the extra mile to just be polite.” Sheppard glared at the prisoner. “But he has to play macho.”

 

“Doesn’t look that macho to me.” Robo walked closer to the box.

 

“He’s a space vampire who is damn hard to kill.” Sheppard winced. “And Wraith are aggressive kind.”

 

“Colonel Sheppard, I am an AI, I am built like a tank.” Robo turned to look at the Colonel. “I’ve been fighting in three wars and been shot, hit, thrown and stomped on. I survived fall from the orbit and being taken apart and rebuild.”

 

“I guess that would make you rather immune.” Sheppard admitted.

 

“And him easy to squish.” Robo added.

 

“Why have you brought them here?” Finally the prisoner spoke. His voice was just as inhuman as his looks. It consisted of many layers of harmonic notes resulting in melodic yet eerie sound.

 

“I thought you’d appreciate company.” Colonel mocked openly.

 

“A mechanic abomination and a female with mind that sounds like background noise?” The Wraith hissed. “Are you trying to make me lose my senses?”

 

“He cannot sense you?” Sheppard turned to Door, clearly surprised.

 

“Openers perceive world in different ways than anyone else.” Door clarified. “We have very original insight in life, seeing passages where there are none and doors where others don’t.”

 

“What’s an opener?” Spike asked intrigued. He never heard of that kind of humans.

 

“I am an Opener.” Door exclaimed. “I open.”

 

“Yeah, she’s here to open new possibilities for you, Spikey-boy.” Sheppard decided to cut to the chase.

 

“I do not want anything from them.” Spike turned away wishing to end the visit.

 

“They have a deal for you.” Sheppard continued. “You may want to hear them.” The prisoner didn’t do as much as twitch. “Don’t mind that, he’ll hear you anyway, it’s not like he can go away. Just say what you have to say.”

 

“He can put his fingers in his ears and say ‘la la la’ loudly.” Robo said jokingly.

 

“Don’t give him ideas.” Sheppard replied mirthlessly. Knowing his luck the Wraith would do just that.

 

“We offer you freedom.” Door ignored the two males in her company and addressed the Wraith directly. “Cooperate with us and it will be granted to you.”

 

“This is subterfuge.” The prisoner turned his head to look back but didn’t move to look straight at Door.

 

“Why would we bother with trickery?” Door asked. “You are already imprisoned. You are at our mercy.”

 

“You want something from me.” The Wraith growled.

 

“We want you to come with us and follow what she says.” Robo crossed his massive arms over his broad chest.

 

“I do not trust you.”

 

“Spike, my government talked with their government. You have been handpicked to work with them.” Sheppard switched to his convincing tone. “We even decided to sweeten the deal. You are not going to be freed for that mission but released back to Pegasus.” That caught attention of the Wraith who turned back to face his visitors. “All you have to do is to join Todd’s faction and you can get back to Pegasus.” The Colonel continued.

 

“Is that so, Colonel?” Spike the Wraith stepped few paces to stand directly in front of the transparent wall. He reached and rested both his palms against its smooth surface. “And what then? Having my former Commander end me for remaining with the mutinous crew and actively participating in failed invasion attempt at his human brother’s home world?”

 

Door and Robo watched at the palm of the right hand of the prisoner. The left one was smooth and looking just like every human palm. The right one had what looked like cut running through the middle, it was red and clearly wasn’t simply a wound. It did not bleed but rather looked like some strange kind of a maw.

 

“I spoke with Todd. He promised to allow you to his personal Hive and don’t execute you.” Sheppard ignored the view as if he saw it every day. “Unless you’ll rebel again that is, but it’s your choice alone.”

 

“I find it all hard to believe.” The Wraith took his hands off the plastic wall. “It sounds too good. And you still didn’t tell me what they want from me that is worthy of such an offer.”

 

“We are re-assembling a group that will have to perform a mission.” Door revealed.

 

“What kind of mission?” The Wraith asked. He had a feeling that it would be much more complicated than they would let him believe. It usually was so. And that the offer he received would hardly be worthy of the difficulties he would be put through.

 

“We will be capturing two men connected to large and well supplied criminal organisation.” Door elaborated. “They mission most probably be dangerous, and how much time will it take shall depend on our own ability to act fast.”

 

“ISIS?” The Wraith asked.

 

“How do you know about them?” Robo questioned shocked. The creature was locked on a desert in an underground bunker in a plastic box.

 

“Soldiers are talking.” Spike admitted. “I also am allowed some of you primitive television once a day and sometimes there is news available there.”

 

“Do you agree then?” Door asked finally.

 

“I should deny, seeing as you are my enemies.” The Wraith sighed in multi-layered sigh. “But if I am to be free it is to be as a part of my former Commander’s faction, which is allied with you and that in turn would make you my allies also. And that would mean that I should agree, seeing that you are my allies.”

 

“Your choice. Freedom as our ally or imprisonment as our enemy.” Sheppard summed it up.

 

“And alliance sounds much more profitable for me.” Spike finished. “Provided you will keep your end of the bargain.”

 

“I always keep my end of the bargain.” Sheppard narrowed his eyes at the Wraith.

 

“It would seem so.” Spike replied with the same only his stare was more predatory.

 

Sheppard tapped his head set without looking away. “Norris, bring it in.” He said and disconnected.

 

After a second a soldier came with handful of some clothes and pair of heavy looking boots. Sheppard released lock in the cell’s door and the soldier threw the clothed in, everything managed to land on the cot. Sheppard immediately closed the door.

 

“That’s some civilian clothes for you. You can change now; we will be back in half an hour.” Sheppard informed the soon to be former prisoner. “You’re leaving this joint today.”

 

They walked out without a word leaving the Wraith with the clothes and silly expression.

 

oOo

 

Spike looked much better in normal clothes than in his prison jumpsuit but it was only natural. It is nearly impossible to look good in jumpsuit… perhaps a supermodel could look good in one provided she’d be totally naked underneath.

 

The moment Spike reached the open air he had to wince – he was unaccustomed to bright dessert sun. When he regained partial sight he realised that they were on a landing strip and heading to a jet. Colonel Sheppard was accompanying them.

 

Door noticed that in bright light the Wraith looked even less ordinary: his skin was pale green and his pupils turned into slim cracks in his otherwise yellow irises.

 

“Good bye and good luck.” Sheppard said when they reached the stairs. “With this one here you will need a lot of it.”

 

“He’s the least of our worries.” Robo replied. “He’s not even close to being exotic, to me least.”

 

“Really? Space vampires so common in your line of work?”

 

“You would be surprised.” Robo chose not to go any further for the danger of mentioning the Vampire Dimension and then possibly some other things he didn’t want to think about.

 

“At least he didn’t hiss at you as you thought he would, Colonel.” Door decided to change the subject.

 

“Ahh, now I know what I have forgotten about. Thank you for reminding me.” Spike turned to Colonel. “Hiiisssssss… I am your DEATH!” He said with enough venom to poison an Olympic stadium tightly packed with people.

 

“I guess now your day is complete.” Sheppard commented without much enthusiasm. “Have fun on your mission.” The man walked away mumbling something under his breath.

 

They watched the Colonel walk away and then got to the plane.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

**Spoiler alert: this paragraph contains spoilers.**

**It definitely happens after the last episode of the last season of SGA, and additionally after my fan-comic. This means that Atlantis is back in Pegasus, Wraith are continuing their civil war with one faction allied with Lantians/Tau’ri. This is obvious reference to AU episode “Vegas”, only this time it happens in the main time line and since Todd wasn’t leading the Super-Hive but was on Atlantis, Spike and his wing managed to leave the Super-Hive but the shockwave hit them shortly after they have left the dart bay. Only Spike survived and now is prisoner in A51 (just like AU Todd/Gabriel was).**

 

1) In SGA “Vegas” Spike was listening to this song when he was putting his human disguise on; I just HAD to use it here.

 

2) I know that in “Vegas” he’s on the loose in Nevada, but we never really learned just where he crash landed. In addition Stargate was a Canadian show, it had mostly Canadian actors so why not making Spike landing in Canada?

 

3) For those who still don’t use SI: that’s six and a half feet.


	5. Wouldn't it be Good

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Wouldn’t it be Good.**

 

 

“ _I got it bad, you don't know how bad I got it_

_You got it easy, you don't know when you've got it good_

_It's getting harder, just keeping life and soul together_

_I'm sick of fighting, even though I know I should_

 

_The cold is biting_

_Through each and every nerve and fiber_

_My broken spirit is frozen to the core_

_I don't want to be here no more (…).” –_ Nik Kershaw _“Wouldn’t it be Good”_ _1_ _)._

 

oOo

 

_New York. The Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence._

 

They were being driven in black minivan, the widows were darkened so no one could peek inside but they saw everything outside. People rushed around then, the street lights changed, cars stopped while others drove away making room for more cars.

 

Robo wasn’t all that impressed. He was built and brought up – or what counted for being brought up in his case – in Big Apple. Sure back then it wasn’t that large or noisy. Later Tesladyne had its place in Empire State Building and only relatively recently it moved to its own island. This made Robo into true New Yorker: a “son” to an immigrant who found a new home in America. Even if the city wasn’t his home anymore, it was still his city.

 

For Door anything from the ‘Above’ world was strange and alien, though perhaps not THAT alien, she was managing outstandingly well. New York should probably impress her but she was from London where thing were perhaps more British and European but just as loud and colourful. And people were people no matter where they lived.

 

Spike was watching at the city with fascination, awe and sharpness of a hunter. Despite the fact that he managed to travel a little before he was caught, he even reached Las Vegas, he wasn’t free to roam for long enough to become immune to the sheer size of Lantean – or in this case Earthlings – cities or their actual population. It was indeed fascinating how humans could develop if left to their own devices and not culled. Never before he saw such a population – this one planet had more humans than entire Pegasus Galaxy! And he was perfectly aware that while one of the most populated, if not the most populated, Earth wasn’t the only planet in this new Galaxy, a Galaxy far larger than his own. There were other populated planets. To him, a member of a race that even in its best times was always facing the menace of starvation, reaching a planet where one city held more people than couple of planets was comparable to allowing a child from starving society to enter a market with foods of all kinds: it was pure shock. He wasn’t hungry, humans found a way shortly after they have returned to Pegasus and even though there were alliances that didn’t agree to change their nutrition source, many Hives accepted such a solution not seeing better alternative especially that it opened new possibilities for them. Spike was slowly realising what his former commander understood for a while now: there was so much more in life than just constant hunger, there was literally entire new Galaxy of possibilities and perhaps at some point even more.

 

oOo

 

The Bureau was situated in a large building with some trees around but it screamed ‘government’ and it certainly was larger on the inside that it seemed on the outside. It had that typical urban look of something that was planned as art nouveau but then was finished as something entirely different that included concrete galore, plenty of steel and a lot of heavy, thick glass. It was heavy, square and built like a bunker. Buildings like that had to have solid foundations and that usually meant a lot of basement space. Basement space that could be used in multitude of top secret ways.

 

The car stopped in front of the main entry with proud sign stating complete and utter bullshit. They get out and led to the large, heavy double door that opened soundlessly and a smart looking agent led them to the lobby that looked like extremely spacious morgue. If morgues had stone floors polished until one could use it as a mirror. The same agent silently led them to an elevator. The elevator was mostly chrome and satin – also polished into high shine. Instead of travelling up they went down.

 

The room they were taken into looked nothing like a basement or dungeon. It looked like large library. All in dark wood and with soft, warm light. It smelled of floor polishing wax and old paper, and… Old Spice.

 

“I take that you are Miss Portico and these two… are your subordinates.” They all turned to see a tall, balding man in glasses. He looked heavy but not with obesity, he was simply strongly built. In his younger times he was probably very athletic.

 

“I am Lady Door.” Door corrected the man. “And these are, indeed, my subordinates.”

 

“I am Director Manning.” The man introduced himself. “You’re here for one of our, not exactly prisoners.”

 

“Yeah, though I take that Hellboy didn’t like the idea.” Robo decided to join the conversation.

 

“He was offended.” The Director agreed. “The way only he can.”

 

“O ho ho. Do I know that!” Robo seemed amused. “Not that I don’t agree with him.”

 

“You know him?” Manning asked.

 

“I met him.” Robo confirmed. “Red getting offended is a sight to behold.”

 

“What did your, not so much of a guest, say?” Door asked. She knew of Hellboy, though she knew him by different name, but she wasn’t concerned with his opinion as it wasn’t him who she was to hire.

 

“He asked who he was to work with if he agreed. I told him your name but he didn’t recognise it.” The Director replied. “He asked who was to be your direct superior. He recognised her name. That only made Hellboy angrier.”

 

“Does that mean that we can take him now?” Door asked.

 

“He said that he is close to agreeing but he wants to meet you before he will make his final decision.” Manning informed them. “I will take you to him if you still want to.”

 

“Of course. He is the reason why we are here.” Door nodded.

 

“Can we talk to HB first?” Robo asked.

 

“He left half an hour after he learned of your request.” Manning admitted. “I can tell him you asked for him when he’s back.”

 

“That’ll be great.” Robo’s optics looked as if he was smiling. “Tell him that after I’m done with this mission I invite him to Tesladyne.”

 

“Why not. He hasn’t been on leave for ages now.” The Director shrugged. “Now, back to the business.”

 

He led them to another room and then to a short corridor that looked cold and sterile. At the end of the corridor was a lift. The door opened and they entered.

 

“Before you will meet him. I must warn you in case he is unmasked.” He started with his finger hovering over a button that would send them two levels down.

 

“We are aware that he is disfigured.2)” Door ensured the Director. “He suffered mild burns before the war, the scars were minimal but the surgery he underwent caused more damage than it did good resulting in him wearing a mask.”

 

“That. And more. We found him in Norway, in an old, collapsed castle in the arctic area some years ago. The place bore signs of an explosion. He was there with one Leopold Kurtz, who is being held in separate facility. ‘Till this day we do not know how these two survived the explosion and the two weeks in the ruins before they were discovered – and we only know it was two weeks because their calendar wasn’t burned completely.” Manning explained. “He never said what happened claiming that he is not sure but it had to be the machinery.”

 

“I see.” Door sighed. “I will speak with him.”

 

“You’ve been warned.” The man pushed the button and they sled down to the lowest level of the facility.

 

oOo

 

The room was clean and set in simple yet pleasant style. The furniture wasn’t overly fancy but it looked both practical and comfortable. The prisoner was granted far more luxury than most people in his position. The room they were in wasn’t like most typical cells. There was no bunk; instead there were doors that had to lead to the bed room.

 

And there, in the middle of the room, behind a simple, wooden table (it was an IKEA design without a doubt) sat one Karl Ruprecht Kroenen in his full, masked glory. The man was lean and it was obvious that he was also shorter than Spike but he looked absolutely fit and nothing like the old man he was. Or supposed to be.

 

“You have your guests.” Manning said and left.

 

“Colonel Kroenen.” Door approached the ex-Nazi.

 

“Please sit and Oberststurbmannführer if you insist on ranks3).” The man said in hoarse and not exactly lisping, more like hissing and throaty voice. “But I would prefer to be known more as Professor Doctor, or simply Doctor.”

 

“Doctor then.” Door sat down. “I am Lady Door of House Portico. I was told that you were close to agreeing to my offer.”

 

“It depends.” The Occultist leaned forward. “Is Herrin Murray really herself? Is she the former Frau Harker?”

 

“The very same.” Door nodded. “She is currently the ‘M’ in spe4). She will take the chair as soon as the team will be assembled.

 

“I see. I understand that you have met her. Tell me, Herrin Portico; was Herr Quatermain there as well?”

 

“I was informed that Allan Quatermain died in 2009 during the Moonchild incident.” Door informed the prisoner. “She was, however, accompanied by Orlando. Why do you ask?”

 

“Mmmm.” The man’s head fell lower as if he was dozing off but it snapped back up immediately. “The names are familiar to me… but this is a story for another time.” He quickly ended the subject. “Tell me this instead: was I correct to assume that the group I am asked to join would be the famous ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’?”

 

“Yes.” Door confirmed. “The assembling team should be known as ‘Portico Group’ just as Miss Murray’s was ‘Murray Group’.”

 

“And why would Herrin Murray want an ex-Waffen SS officer?” He asked earnestly. “Searching for engineer perhaps?”

 

“No, we have Atomic Robo for that.” Door denied. “We’re more interested in your medical and occult experience.”

 

“British Intelligence is assembling League of Extraordinary Gentlemen once again and they are considering former Nazi to join it as a medic and occultist.” Kroenen recapitulated silently. “It sounds so ridiculous that it cannot be untrue.”

 

“But?” Door asked sensing that the man failed to finish his thought.

 

“But can you work with someone like me?” He asked this time there was a hint of smile in his voice even though Door knew he couldn’t smile any more. Or rather that he was permanently smiling now.

 

“It depends if you can follow my orders.” She replied honestly. His past was not her concern even though she knew history if the world Above, it was that whatever he was in the past was irrelevant in the face of what the future could hold.

 

“I find it acceptable.” Kroenen admitted. “As long as you are a good commander, that is.”

 

“I wasn’t chosen simply because of my good looks.” She replied. “Shall I inform Director Manning that you will be coming with us then?” She stood up.

 

“Please do. I have nothing better to do these days.” Kroenen rose as well. He indeed was only slightly shorter than Spike. Then again, he was accepted into SS which meant that he had to be at least 175 centimetres tall5) and Kroenen was probably minimally taller than that.

 

“Follow us then.” Door walked to the doors.

 

“I would appreciate if you could give me few moments to prepare and pack my humble movables.” He requested. “I was granted a laptop in which I was allowed to download considerable collection of occult grimoirs and some medical magazines.” He explained when he saw Door staring at him quizzically. “If I am to be useful occultist it would be beneficial if I had access to my books.” He continued. “Also I would like to have a change of clothes, basic personal hygiene items and spare mask. It is not lot of baggage and it won’t take long, I already have a portmanteau at ready.”

 

“Of course.” Door knocked on the door. “We shall wait outside.”

 

The door opened and they left the comfortable prison. Director Manning stood outside waiting. The door closed behind them and the magnetic locks snapped in place. Kroenen was once again locked inside alone.

 

“How did it go?” Manning asked, curious.

 

Ever since they had Kroenen locked he was polite and cooperated enough to gain certain privileges but not more than he absolutely had to. Manning was wondering what Kroenen had to gain from cooperating with the British Intelligence?

 

“He accepted.” Door announced. “He asked to be allowed to pack some of his belongings.”

 

“He requested a suitcase for that when he learned that you would come.” Manning nodded. “Like I said before, he was more or less into it all. That makes me curious, what he could gain from you?”

 

“He asked about Miss Murray, I suspect that he wants to learn something from her.” Door furrowed her eyebrows. “He is an occultist and she dealt with a lot of strange things. My best guess is that as an occultist he craves for occult knowledge.”

 

“He was working on ending the world during the World War II.” Manning revealed.

 

“There was an occultist that went by the name of Olivier Haddo who desired to create a Moonchild to bring a new aeon of terror.7)” Door explained. “It ended some years ago in what some people know as ‘the Moonchild Incident’. Perhaps as an occultist Doctor Kroenen wishes to learn what have occurred exactly?”

 

“That is possible.” Manning agreed. “Then again, what kind of mission requires you to have an old fart like him?”

 

“He didn’t smell old.” Spike surprised everyone by speaking. He kept silent ever since they arrived to New York.

 

“Horsefeathers!” Atomic Robo protested. He was a scientist and all that occult nonsense was absurd to him. “He’s older than I am!”

 

“He doesn’t smell old.” Spike insisted. “He smells like… almost a Wraith but human, no enzyme…”

 

“Technically Kroenen is over hundred years old and shouldn’t be alive to end in that explosion in Norway, let alone survive for two weeks and heal as fast and well as he did.” Manning shook his head. “And yet he’s here in great shape and often going to the gym and practicing fencing.”

 

“But how?” Robo was at loss now.

 

“I think they don’t want him in heaven and hell’s too scared that he’ll take over.” Manning smirked.

 

“That’s almost the same thing I said to my friend just this morning.” Robo admitted recalling Jenkins.

 

“Nothing that I can answer to that.” Manning shrugged.

 

They were saved from awkward silence by resonant ‘ping’ at the Kroenen door’s intercom. The man behind them was now ready to leave.

 

Manning entered the code at the touch pad and the doors unlocked. Behind them stood Karl Ruprecht Kroenen dressed in his body suit and mask as before but now hold the extended handle of a trolley case that sat at his side on its tiny wheels. It looked awkwardly modern next to a man in what could only be described as steam punk mask.

 

“I am now ready.” Kroenen announced.

 

“He will need warmer clothes.” Robo observed. “It’s autumn outside.”

 

“He will get his outside gear when we leave this part of the complex.” Manning said and summoned the elevator.

 

oOo

 

They rode to the airport in the same black minivan and with the same driver as before. The difference was that now they had another passenger. Karl Kroenen had the amazing ability to look absolutely natural in modern looking clothes while at the same time wearing old-fashioned mask.

 

The atmosphere inside the van was also different than before. The silent reflection was replaced with unspoken curiosity and anticipation. Surprisingly the first one to break the silence was Kroenen.

 

“Now that I am included into this… gathering, I would greatly appreciate being introduced to my… co-gentlemen.” He spoke calmly and politely. “So at least I know how to address them.” He added.

 

“I suppose I should have done that when we met.” Door admitted. “This is Atomic Robo Tesla, who is our science expert and my second in command.” She gestured at Robo.

 

“The name sounds familiar.” Kroenen admitted. “I assume that you are the same Herr Tesla who continued to harass Baron von Helsingard?”

 

“The one and only.” Robo narrowed his optics at Kroenen. He wasn’t too hot about Nazis, he had enough of them back at war, but he held special place on his hate list for those associated with Helsingard. “And it’s Doctor Tesla, actually.”

 

“And this is Spike.” Door decided to intervene before the conversation went out of hand. “A Wraith pilot.”

 

“I am not sure if I recognise his… ethnical origin.” Kroenen admitted. Ever since he saw the strange man he was curious of who and what he was.

 

“Wraith are not from Earth.” Door explained. “He is an extra-terrestrial.” She avoided saying ‘alien’, it seemed rude to her. “Their race is a kind of, ummm, space vampires.”

 

“That’s fascinating, what is his role in this assembly?” Karl asked.

 

“He is not sure himself.” Spike hissed annoyed that he was spoken about as if he wasn’t present.

 

“Wraith have many abilities that can come in handy.” Door smiled mysteriously. “Let us say that, in great generalisation, Spike is the adventurer of the team.”

 

“Good to know.” Spike murmured loud enough to be heard and focused on the world outside of the van.

 

“How did you meet Helsingard?” Robo asked not allowing the subject to drop. He ignored Door’s glare. He wanted to know just how much Kroenen was connected to Helsingard.

 

“Heinrich von Helsingard was my professor when I was studying medicine.” Kroenen answered the question. “To shorten the long story of our pain filled acquaintanceship, he and his designs were competing with the Ragna Rok project which ended with us being professional rivals and personal enemies.”

 

“How?”

 

“He has stolen results of my early experiments with mechanical implants and cloning. Only he was using unwilling subjects, both human and Vril8)”

 

“Brutes!” Robo exclaimed. He remembered Ludwig9) well.

 

“I believe that’s what he called them.” Kroenen nodded.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

**Spoiler alert: this paragraph contains spoilers.**

**Professor Doctor Karl Ruprecht Kroenen – post Hellboy: Wake the Devil, the B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth not happening (but Rasputin does interfere with the explosion) because:**

**a) I don’t like the change in drawing style, it changed way too much (I enjoyed Mignola’s art better for anything related to Hellboy, it is much more ominous and thus fits better the overall climate of the entire story);**

**b) I have to put Karl into B.P.R.D. custody somehow and this was perfect opportunity (this also means that I cut in before Hellboy resigns and goes to Hell – I liked the older comics in the series better).**

 

1) I associate this song forever with Karl, probably because I listened to it shortly after (meaning few minutes) I watched the first Hellboy film (though I heard it in the Placebo cover version back then) and the line “the cold is biting” was just so perfect for the scene when they enter the sanctuary where they resurrect Rasputin. Of course this Kroenen is mostly the comic version though I borrowed some of his movie features to make him more usable in this story.

 

2) In the comic books it is not stated why exactly hides his face behind the mask but it is implied that some sort of accident left him disfigured. In the film he suffers from mysophobia (germophobia) and extreme body dismorphic disorder (he surgically scarred himself, removed his own eyelids, lips and nails).

I stick to the comic biography but who said that the disfigurement that young Karl suffered didn’t left him scarred just as in the movie? And as in my explanation for his time line, he suffered some more after the explosion in the castle.

 

3) That’s the rank he is given in his film biography (I have not noticed any visible rank marks in the comics despite that he is wearing military uniform), it is SS equivalent of Lieutenant Colonel. The comic biography gives him titles of Professor Doctor. He is a doctor by training, a surgeon to be exact, but also an occultist and engineer.

 

4) In Spe – being someone ‘in spe’ means to be elected or nominated; soon to take the seat, title or position.

 

5) That’s 5’74” tall; it was the minimal height that Waffen SS members had to have in order to be accepted because that was the height of Heinrich Himmler.

 

6) Hellboy: Seed of Destruction.

 

7) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century.

 

8) Vril are mentioned by Helsingard in Atomic Robo: Fighting Scientists of Tesladyne, vol1. And there is one in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century, 1969 (performing sex show). IMHO it connects well: survivors from the utopia that von Helsingard destroyed, and possibly few of his escaped prisoners, fled to London to seek haven (that was fate of many during WWII).

 

9) Ludwig is a BIG Brute from Atomic Robo: Dogs of War, vol. 4.


	6. The Unseen Playmate

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**The Unseen Playmate.**

 

 

“ _When children are playing alone in the green,_

_In comes the playmate that never was seen._

_When children are happy and lonely and good,_

_The Friend of the Children comes out of the wood._

 

_Nobody heard him, and nobody saw,_

_His is a picture you never could draw,_

_But he’s sure to be present, abroad or at home,_

_When children are happy and playing alone._

_(…).” –_ Robert Luis Stevenson _“The Unseen Playmate”_ _1_ _)._

 

oOo

 

_Somewhere near the Polish-Belarus border. Białowieża Primeval Forest._

 

The flight from USA to Europe passed in relative calmness. Spike was curious about civilian human made aircrafts and Robo invited him to the cockpit to show him around not seeing any harm in doing so. The Wraith being pilot himself was satisfied with the presentation but did not show any further interest in piloting the craft deciding that Robo was more than qualified to get them to their destination.

 

Kroenen was happy to spend the entire time either dozing off or burying himself in his computer, reading what looked like scans of old books. Door allowed him his peace while she busied herself with lecture of her own. Spike, after leaving the cockpit, sat quietly meditating.

 

They have arrived in London on schedule. Kroenen was immensely disappointed that Wilhelmina Murray would not see them upon their arrival but rather have them briefed after they would return with the last member of their team. Instead they were put on a train that would get them through the Channel Tunnel and to the continent where they would drive to where they were to find the last recruit. They have spent their time in private compartment, untroubled by anyone resting before the next part of the journey.

 

“Why haven’t we flown to there?” Spike asked. He didn’t understand why they had to waste so much time by land travel.

 

“Because there is no landing strip in the forest and even if we landed in the nearest airfield, we’d still have to drive there.” Robo explained. He too would rather fly, but land travel was still better than the alternative. At least to him.

 

“I can take us there directly.” Door proposed. “It would be a lot faster.”

 

“Oh no. No way. Forget it.” Robo firmly refused. “I’d rather drive us all the way.”

 

“Robo, we’d spent over seven hours flying to London and now we’re to spend twenty driving?” She complained. “I can get us there under one minute!”

 

“No thank you. I rather have you do your thing only if we absolutely have to. Say, if we’re on burning ship in the middle of a hurricane with armed terrorists firing upon us and we’re sitting on an atom bomb with its timer ticking.”

 

“I am not certain of what kind of travel Lady Door was talking about, but surely it is preferable to spent as little time as possible en route.” Spike voiced his opinion. “Why it is so unacceptable to take her offer?”

 

“That’s because Robo is scared.” Door explained. She felt a little offended that Robo felt so bad about her skill.

 

“I am not scared.” Robo denied feeling his manly pride being wounded. “I just don’t like the idea of traveling by a method that I haven’t had a chance to examine or at least dispute about it with a specialist, in this case: quantum physicist.”

 

Both Spike and Kroenen gave him stunned glare. Or rather Spike gave him stunned glare and in case of Kroenen it was presumed stunned glare because they couldn’t really tell due to his mask. Neither of them knew of what the robot was talking about. The silence lasted for couple of seconds.

 

“You just hope you won’t have to see it yourself.” Robo added with air of finality.

 

“In this case, I assume that when you have said that you will drive us there it meant that we will not be traveling by train.” Kroenen said. He has spent most of XXth century dealing with occult, warmongering and being frozen and he hadn’t had any chance to experience modern means of train travel, a method he used to greatly enjoy as a young man. The short trip through the Channel Tunnel seemed promising so far.

 

“There is a car waiting for us on the other side.” Robo confirmed.

 

“We will have to make a stop for the night.” Door added. “We should reach our destination by tomorrow. While it doesn’t really matter, it is preferable to approach our next recruit after the sunset.”

 

“Why?” Robo seemed confused. “He hunts at any given time.”

 

“He prefers darkness when it is easier for him to hide from praying eyes.” Door explained. “Don’t forget that he is rather private creature who likes to keep a low profile.”

 

oOo

 

It was so late that it was actually early when they finally reached their destination. They have spent the previous night in a hotel, then they drove the almost whole day with short breaks for easting, using toilet and just stretching. The whole time Robo insisted at not having Door to get them to their destination. Door didn’t want to argue even though she was getting sick and tired of car travel.

 

When they finally arrived it was dark, cold and raining but they were determined. The forest at night seemed not as much eerie as plain scary. It was not some well cultivated orchard; it was wild, primeval and immense. It could humble every supremacist claiming of human race’s might. The monumental trees surrounded them and their crowns disappeared in dense darkness above them. Despite the cold and late time of year all kinds of creatures were making noises that disturbed the silence of night. The rain was dripping through the partially naked branches far above their heads, not all of it reached the forest’s floor. The light from their electric torches only made everything even more far-out as their light revealed only parts of their surroundings making the darkness around them even more intense.

 

They walked for some time before Door decided that it was time to stop. They were standing next to large oak with thick, straight trunk. They looked around; their hoods narrowed their field of vision.

 

“Fine. What now?” Robo adjusted the fabric of his hood so it would not fall over his optics. “How do you find someone who is basically unfindable?”

 

“You make that someone to come to you.” Door explained and reached to her pocket. “He does not live in single place. You can say that he is nomadic in his nature but he resides in forested and secluded places and only goes to more populated areas to hunt or for whatever else needs he has.” She produced a small vial. “We will summon him.”

 

“What’s that?” Spike narrowed his eyes at the vial; it was hard to tell for the vial was made of dark brown glass. In poor light his cat-like pupils dilated into almost round shape.

 

“A calf’s blood.” Door explained.

 

“I did not realise we would perform occult ceremonies.” Robo glared at the vial as if it offended him.

 

“Neither did me. Can I offer a hand?” Kroenen asked. Neither he nor Spike knew who it was that they would now summon since they were not told but he had his suspicions.

 

“It is not an occult ceremony.” Door shook her head and her hood rustled. “We just need to make a sign, a symbol, that our candidate will recognise and answer to and this is a protected area. We cannot simply carve it in the bark so we need to paint it with ‘paint’ that will vanish quickly. Additionally this blood is of the kind that he prefers and should make him this much more eager to arrive.”

 

“You know, this is absurd.” Robo huffed. “It is scientifically impossible to summon someone just by painting something.”

 

“Doctor Tesla, if science teaches us anything it is that we do not know everything about the universe we live in.” Kroenen stepped closer. “I am telling this as both a scientist and an occultist.”

 

“Sure…” Robo crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“Doctor Kroenen, leave him be.” Door unscrewed the top of the vial revealing a thick brush. “He will see for himself.”

 

She reached and painted a circle on the tree bark and then crossed the circle with an X. The blood was dripping form the sign but it was there, glistering in the torch’s light.

 

“Now what?” Spike asked looking around. “Invocations?” He too was sceptical of this whole situation.

 

“We wait.” Door screwed the vial close again and put it in her pocket. “The time if optimal and we’re in a right place.”

 

“If that someone, whoever that its, likes old woods that much then why get here?” Spike was glaring at the symbol as if it was about to jump of off the tree. “Why not use any random patch of trees? Or even larger woods?”

 

“At this time of year this is the right place. There are people living around it but the place itself is wild. It is both large and small enough to hand around for the last weeks of autumn. And in this part of Europe there are enough old post-war bunkers that he can have a cosy winter lair while also being close to his natural habitat.” Door explained. “This entity is closely connected to people but prefers solitude and clean environment. It is old, it lives in woods but it also changes along with humanity, adapting and embracing all the changes that happen around him, using them to his advantage.”

 

“Uhhh!” Spike massaged his temples.

 

“What is it?” Door asked worried. They had some pain killers but she left it back in the car.

 

“For a moment I felt like I was among other Wraith again.” Spike explained lowering his hands. The sudden prick of pain was now gone. “I am fine now.”

 

“What does that mean?” Kroenen observed the green skinned man.

 

“Wraith are telepaths.” Door informed the occultist. “I was told that they are capable of limited mind reading of other species and of causing hallucinations but they mostly use telepathy among themselves.”

 

“But I doubt there is another Wraith around.” Spike took a deep breath. “I would smell their pheromones.”

 

“Then perhaps you’re suffering from migraine?” Kroenen proposed.

 

“No.” Spike denied. “It is gone now.”

 

“Should it return we have pain killers in the car.” Door gestured to the direction they came from. “You can get it when he will arrive and we’re done here. Just be patient.”

 

“I… “Robo glared at something behind Door. “I… don’t think he needs to be patient.” He finished with his optics round in either astonishment or shock.

 

“What?” Door glared at the robot and then turned around. She just realised that the forest went absolutely silent and has been like that for a long moment now…

 

He stood there, next to a tree few meters away from them. He was dressed the exact same way as the tales told: on black business suit, black tie and impeccably white shirt. He was also soaked in the rain. The suit seemed to be rather thing and the shirt clearly stuck to his body, they could see that he had a tank top underneath the shirt. He was indeed slender, though not sickly thin, it showed that while more than just lean it didn’t mean that he had stick thin limbs, the slimness came from his body proportions. He was tall, at the moment he was two heads taller than Spike but it didn’t mean anything as it was said that he could alter his size. His height, however, only stressed just how off his proportions were.

 

“Now do you trust me?” Door asked Robo, not really knowing how to behave now. She never expected to feel that intimidated.

 

“I’m not sure.” Robo answered. He knew he shouldn’t be seeing what he saw right now, and yet it was there. In plain sight.

 

“Slenderman… “Door decided to just get to the point of why she was bothering the creature. “Umm… we are here to ask you if you would be willing…”

 

“Ungh.” Spike groaned. He wasn’t accustomed to such intensity, especially from a male creature. Wraith Queens could be even more invasive but their presence felt differently, more subtle.

 

“Err… “Door turned to Spike who grabbed his head with one hand and staggered. It was Kroenen who caught him preventing from possible fall.

 

“Ohh… Sweet Queen… “Spike moaned and regained his balance. He never really liked being mind probed, no matter how gentle the Queen was, but having such a close contact with creature so alien to him was entire new level of unpleasant. Slenderman wasn’t even bent on being intentionally cruel, but he didn’t go out of his way to be gentle either.

 

And the entity didn’t even try to brutally force himself in, just looking around his brain.

 

“Spike?” Door called worried. This wasn’t what she expected to happen.

 

“I’m fine.” Spike let go of his head and sighed with relief. The intense presence of Slenderman was gone. “He just took me by surprise.” The Wraith shrugged the rest of the sensation and winced again. He sensed the creature again. Only this time instead of mind spinning assault it was a gentle touch, a sensation not unlike hearing something in between buzzing of many small insects and the white noise on the radio.

 

“Are you sure?” Door insisted.

 

“Yes. He says that he knows what you want from him.” Spike took a deep breath. Now that the Slenderman was simply talking to him it felt much less detestable.

 

“Oh… I forgot that you are a telepath.” Door glanced at Slenderman who stood in his place soaking in the rain patiently.

 

“He apparently is too.” Spike nodded. “He says that he doesn’t care and to live him be.”

 

“What? No, you mustn’t decline!” Door’s eyes grew large. She didn’t expect such a flat refuse.

 

The creature stared at her with its eyeless face, then it cocked its head to the side.

 

“He asks how all of this is his business.” Spike passed the question. Now, after a moment, Spike found the entity’s aura changed. Naturally it was nothing like Wraith, but the creature seemed to tune better to Spike’s mind making the contact less offensive with every single thought passed between them. It was quite fascinating since Wraith were not able to make the contact between them and humans any more agreeable no matter what they would do.

 

“Well… the people we’re after will change everything.” Door desperately tried to think of a reason why a creature like Slenderman would care about cultural changes. “Your hunting grounds would change, perhaps even vanish!” She stated.

 

Spike looked at the Slenderman, who in turn leaned nonchalantly against the nearest tree.

 

“He asks: how?” Spike looked back at Door. From his point of view it was quite interesting.

 

“In many ways.” Door felt sick now. Thinking about consequences of failure made her ill. But it did provide her with arguments she needed now. “In short term, they will terrorise the people so they will be more cautious. They will keep a closer look on their families; they will not allow their children to run free.” She said knowing well enough about what Slenderman was hunting. “And children will be scared too, scared children are obedient children, you know that. And you are only allowed to hunt down and devour disobedient children.” She added just for the sake of clarity.

 

Slenderman stretched his slim arm in gesture indicating that he was listening and wanted Door to continue. The rest of the team was observing the ‘conversation’ with awe.

 

“In the long run you may not have any place to hunt at all.” Door continued as asked. “You originate from European culture; you reached this realm through European pagan folklore and took many names and forms in the various regions and with the passing centuries and millenniums.” She said. “If the jihadists will win, if they will reach their ultimate goal, you will perish for there will no longer be a place for you in this world. They wish to destroy western culture that derives directly from Europe, and that means your destruction as well.”

 

Slenderman stood there leaning on the tree for a long moment. The rain intensified and more of it was reaching the bottom of the forest. Finally he directed his attention to Spike.

 

“He says that he survived all the wars that roared in the world and he is not afraid of another one.” Spike repeated Slenderman’s words and then gulped when he sensed what the creature said next. “He says that Doctor Kroenen will recognise the concept of the mankind’s utter fate.”

 

“I most definitely do.” Kroenen spoke for the first time in a long moment. “As it was the ulterior reason behind our Master’s, Rasputin, work. It is how nature works.”

 

“Uhh, Slenderman says that he is not the one to stand in the way of nature, especially that he is its enforcer.” Spike repeated the creature’s words. “He says that we shouldn’t either and that the events will unfold as they will.”

 

“Normally I would agree.” Kroenen nodded his head toward the Slenderman. “But in this situation I cannot. It is not time yet for humankind to enter its death throes. This is not how the humankind is to come to an end.”

 

“This is sick!” Robo couldn’t take it anymore. “You’re talking about genocide!”

 

“I am not.” Kroenen disagreed. “I am talking about natural order of things. This happened in the past and it must happen in the future. Such is the fate of every species. This is the second human race that exists and, at some point, it must perish to make place for the next, third throw of mankind, just as the first human race, the Hiperboreans, perished to make place for the one that exist currently.”

 

“Hiperboreans?” Spike asked. “You mean the Lanteans?” He knew that modern humans were but the second wave of mankind and that the Lanteans belonged to the first, original one.

 

“They have had many names.” Kroenen shrugged but didn’t confirm or deny Spike’s assumption. “They were powerful enough to change worlds, but even them in all their power could not change the laws of nature and universe and evade their ultimate fate.”

 

“He asks if you’re sure about that.” Spike nodded at the Slenderman who detached himself from the tree and stood in what seemed to be an attention.

 

“The Conqueror Worm has been stopped before it could sing, the 369 hasn’t been released and the tomb of Ogdru Jahad remains sealed tight shut.” Kroenen nodded. “The humankind’s time has not come yet. It mustn’t perish before its time, not unless it is to be reborn as the third mankind.”

 

Slenderman nodded and looked at the forest floor in deep thought. He stood there for a moment as the rain fell on everyone. The night was passing slowly, but the night creatures remained silent, pretending that they were not there.

 

Then he lifted his head and stared at Spike. The Wraith nodded. The presence of Slenderman seemed normal to him now.

 

“He said that he will join.” Spike informed them. “He says that the last thing he needs is to have overzealous mortals ruining his hunting grounds.”

 

“Oh, good.” Door sighed and smiled. “Do you need to pack or change into something dry?” She asked with concern. The creature was soaked.

 

Slenderman shook his head ‘no’.

 

“Well then, our car is that way.” She gestured at the direction they came from.

 

Slenderman looked at her for a moment and then turned and started to walk in the direction she pointed at. The rest of them quickly followed.

 

“You do realise he is not a demon.” Robo turned to Door. “He’s probably just a stray creature from a dimension that is hyperspacially ‘close’ to ours, probably very much like the vampire dimension.”

 

“Must you explain everything with quantum physics?” Door asked. It was funny how he tried to explain everything scientifically.

 

“Yes. I do not buy any of that occult hogwash.” Robo insisted stubbornly. “Everything has scientific explanation.”

 

“It is the matter of how you look at it.” Kroenen explained. “Arthur C. Clarke said that advanced enough technology is indistinguishable from magic.2)”

 

“So?”

 

“And Mark Twain said that the reason why the truth seems so much stranger than fiction is that it is not obliged to stick to possibilities.3)” Kroenen continued. “Think of this: if you cannot understand or analyse the occult then perhaps it is not because occults is nonsense but because you lack appropriate tools to examine it and because your science is not advanced enough?”

 

“And Slenderman says that he is not ‘stray’ and that Vampire Dimension has nothing on him but it is boring.” Spike added. “Whatever he might mean by that and whatever the Vampire Dimension is.” He said in his own name.

 

“So, you’re all against me?” Robo asked rhetorically.

 

“ _Nec Hercules contra plures_ 4), Robo.” Door laughed. “Just stop being so tensed and just take it all as it comes.”

 

“Maybe you’ll learn something.” Spike agreed.

 

“Is that what Slenderman says?” Robo gave the Wraith annoyed look.

 

“No. That’s what I say.” Spike grinned in a way that only Wraith can.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

**Spoiler alert: this paragraph contains spoilers.**

**Slenderman – his timeline doesn’t matter because frankly there is no official timeline for him as there is no official story, just the games and fan made stuff.**

**Also for those of you who have objections how Lady Door or Atomic Robo could bear to work with ex-Nazi scientist, Space Vampire and children devouring demon; I will have you informed that neither Door nor Robo are saints. Door pulled Richard into the problems he had to face after she left (no one saw him) knowing what will happen, and though she apologised, she didn’t warn him. And Robo as moral as he is, does have a tiny mean streak in him (but that’s why we adore him so). The moral is: Never say never, it is unhealthy (can cause dandruff, nausea, anal leakage and erectile disfunctions XD ). That and they’re all made-up characters so they do what the writer tells them to do.**

 

1) I know that it is an innocent kiddie’s poem about imaginary friends or perhaps just how imaginative children can be. But when associated with Slenderman it just sounds so creepy that it is perfect for this chapter. Well, not all of it, just the two first verses but that’s enough to make the impression.

And I only associated this poem with darker themes thanks to the Minutemen comic book that is sort of a prequel for Watchmen. Those more versed in comic book world will recognise that Watchmen were written by Alan Moore (art by Dave Gibbons, colours by John Higgins), the same Alan Moore who wrote The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (art by Kevin O’Neil).

 

2) Clarke’s Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

 

3) “Truth is stranger than Fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

 

4) Not even Hercules can fight against two.

 


	7. Slick Trigger Finger for Her Majesty

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Slick trigger finger for Her Majesty.**

 

 

“ _Another ringer with the **slick trigger finger for Her Majesty**_

_One with the golden gun poison in your fantasy_

_Another bill from a killer turned a thrill into a tragedy_

_A door left open_

_A woman walking by_

_A drop in the water_

_A look in the eye_

_A phone on the table_

_A man on your side_

_Someone that you think that you can trust is just_

_Another way to die (…).” –_ Jack White and Alicia Keys _“Another way to Die”_ _1)_ _._

 

oOo

 

_London._

 

Their way back to London seemed to last even longer. It was just an impression though, caused by the fact that presence of Slenderman seemed to peeve Atomic Robo even more. The fact that the creature offered – with Spike’s help – to teleport them to France didn’t help. Before Slenderman could get annoyed Spike took it upon himself to explain that Lady Door proposed the exact same thing and met refusal as well. That of course made Slenderman more curious about Door and her answer that she is an opener was met with Slenderman’s understanding and approval. That only served to further irritate Atomic Robo.

 

Finally they reached London the next late evening but despite being almost dead tired they were informed that the ‘M’ was waiting for them. A man who identified himself as Bill Tanner2) escorted them to the MI6 HQ. The building was already almost entirely empty, most of people working there were regular office clerks, only few agents and ever present security guards were still present.

 

They climbed the concrete stairs leading to the entrance. They went unnoticed by anyone who could care about their presence. It was just before midnight and the only person around was a rat-arsed drunkard who would probably blame the delirium tremens for seeing them. That or he’d remember them as blue llamas in pink tutus.

 

They were led to the ‘M’s’ office where tired Miss Moneypenny welcomed them with a smile that would be charming if not for the fact that it turned into yawn.

 

“She will be out in a moment.” Miss Moneypenny informed them immediately after apologising for the yawn. “Back in MI5 there was special conference room for the League but after we took over that part of Intelligence, it was not assembled. The ‘M’ ordered one set only recently.”

 

“It is in the archive wing.” Mina said leaving her office. “The ‘M’ wanted to have it set here but I insisted it should be placed there, due to tradition.” She continued. “He didn’t oppose for too long, since after tomorrow morning it will be my burden.”

 

“Miss Murray.” Lady Door interrupted. “The hour is late and we are all tired after long hour of traveling by car, per Robo’s insistence. I believe we all would appreciate if this could be done as quickly as possible.”

 

“Or course. Follow me.” Mina gestured eyeing the assembly. They truly looked extraordinary, perhaps even more than her own group did… at least when it was Jekyll who was present. “I am afraid that it will not be as quick as you would wish. But I have made sure that you have rooms waiting for you in the nearby hotel so that you may go to your rest.”

 

oOo

 

The conference room was indeed in the archive wing, or rather in the archive basement. The corridors there were long and narrow, clearly from before the building was refurbished on numerous occasions. Unlike the part that was above, this was painted in unattractive grey-brown paint and the light bulbs were giving yellow light. Every now and then they passed a dark grey door with black number and chip-lock with small green light. The floor was made of concrete covered with linoleum in the shade of vomit and diarrhoea. It occurred to Door that it was no wonder that these two archivists decided to escape – this place was terrible.

 

They finally reached the room they were heading to. It was surprisingly large and well lit. The most prominent part was a wooden table and simple chairs. The floor was tiled here and the walls were white. It looked clean and much more pleasant than the corridors.

 

They sat around the table randomly, there were more chairs that was needed allowing them some space.

 

“I believe you were already preliminarily introduced to our problem.” Mina started. “The time it took you to assemble as a group I have spent searching for more information what these traitors can possibly be after.”

 

“What have you found Miss Murray?” Door asked taking her leading part.

 

“Searching through the archives did not yield the results one could wish for. I was able to find out some more detailed traces though. After searching through computer index of documents we were able to determine that there are at least five documents missing, all about Jewish and European folklore. The only one we were able to identify by actual date was created in the early XVIIth century.”

 

“Herrin Murray, what kind of European folklore?” Kroenen asked. The term ‘European folklore’ meant nothing to him, the term was much too wide and it could be anything from any region and any period of time.

 

“It was not detailed but I believe that alchemy was mentioned.” Mina replied. “After we have failed with the documents I decided to see if we are able to find the traitors or at least to see where they have been.”

 

“Following their tracks could bring results.” Spike agreed. “But from my own experience I know that such a route can be random and sometimes it is better to anticipate than to simply follow.”

 

“Indeed so, yet the places they already visited will be part of the pattern that will allow us to anticipate their direction.” Door decided. They needed a starting point other than London.

 

“Their first aim was Swiss and then the travelled to France. They are travelling south-west but they do it erratically. It is hard to guess how fast they will go, what will they travel with and where will they stray to.”

 

“South-west? Sounds like they’re heading to Spain or Portugal.” Robo leaned back tapping his chin.

 

“Correct me if I stray with my logic. They have stolen documents regarding Jewish and European folklore which may include alchemy.” Kroenen spoke again. “It seems that they follow to where large Jewish communities were in the past.”

 

“You believe they seek for some alchemic secrets?” Door turned to the occultist.

 

“In the past, far past, alchemy, Cabbala and folklore interlaced and many alchemists were Jews, or studied Cabbala from Jewish teachers.” Kroenen explained. “Indeed I believe they are searching for something that only Jewish alchemist or an alchemist who studied Cabbala could devise.”

 

“Slenderman says that they won’t find it in Spain.” Spike shifted in his seat. He didn’t mind Slenderman’s telepathic contact no more, but he still felt awkward passing his messages like that.

 

“Why not?” Mina asked curiously.

 

“Until the end of XVth century Spain was inhabited by Jewish diaspora, but they were Sephardi Jews, upon the domination of Spanish Inquisition they have moved to Africa, modern Turkey, Italy, Holland and England.” Kroenen started to report. “They are distinct from Ashkenazi Jews that at first lived in France and Germany but were expelled during Crusades and settled in Eastern Europe, mostly Poland where they have had built prosperous diaspora until the world war II decimated its members and forced into hiding and running. Both groups are very distinct.”

 

“You would know something about that, wouldn’t you?3)” Robo narrowed his optics at the ex-Nazi officer.

 

“I am an OCCULTIST; of course I know something about it.” Kroenen replied with all the dignity he could muster. “Now, back to the subject at hand. To make it as simple as possible, and perhaps not entirely adequate, but serving its purpose none than less: Sephardi were the bankers. Ashkenazi were the Cabbalists.”

 

“So, if they’re after occult they’re looking for the wrong people?” Door asked.

 

“Not people.” Spike’s eyes grew round. “Doctor Kroenen said that they have left.”

 

“Relics?” Robo guessed. “They count on finding something that was left behind?”

 

“And they won’t find anything of the kind they’re hoping for.” Kroenen nodded.

 

“Slenderman says that it doesn’t matter if they’re at the wrong track.” Spike repeated what the faceless entity thought to him. “They’re best caught before they can find what they’re after, whatever it may be.”

 

“I have feeling that you might have an idea what they’re looking for.” Mina glared at Slenderman suspiciously.

 

“He says that he can think of more things than you could comprehend.” Spike was kind enough to pass the message again. “And that he will not be taking any guesses.”

 

“I still say it is all horsefeathers.” Robo stood up. “But I rather not find out if they plan to blow something up should they failed with their wild goose chase.”

 

“So it is settled, we follow them and take them down without waiting for their next move.” Door stood up as well. “Am I to understand that we are free to take any actions necessary to do so?”

 

“Within reason.” Mina cooled down Door’s temper. “We have an understanding within the European Union that we have the full authority on this case and we can demand full cooperation from any country. But you are not allowed to demolish anything. Or cause mayhem. At least not too much of it.”

 

“Not too much mayhem.” Robo stared dully at the soon to be ‘M’. “Got it.”

 

“You have rooms in the nearby hotel that usually houses our agents while they’re on prolonged stay in London. Mr Tanner will meet you tomorrow morning, be ready to leave immediately.”

 

“And after we leave, we’re on our own?” Door asked.

 

“Yes. In case of any emergency or if you will need something you will contact Mr Tanner who is in charge of providing you with resources you might need.” Mina stood up followed by the three still sitting ‘Gentlemen’. “That would be everything. Now, if you don’t have any further questions, I will walk you out and you are free for the night.”

 

oOo

 

The hotel was a short walk from the MI6 HQ and they decided to just walk there. Driving would probably take them longer as they would have to wait for a car to get them there. They were nearly at the place, when Spike turned to Kroenen.

 

“What was Atomic Robo talking about knowing something of the decimation of that ‘diaspora’?” The Wraith asked.

 

“A long story. It involves an entity that I was a member of, though my reasons for being involved with it was not the same as most of its members.3)” Kroenen shrugged. “Ask Slenderman and he’ll tell you, probably better than I could.”

 

Spike turned to Slenderman but he wasn’t there. They looked around and spotted the pale entity not far away, in some blind alley, near the trash cans. He was reaching behind a large trash can and pulling something out.

 

“Oh, look, Slenderman found a young kitten.” Robo exclaimed. The kitten still looked fluffy while already old enough to look for adventures.

 

“What is he doing? Why is he holding that kitten like that?” Spike asked and his eyes grew large as saucers. “I didn’t know he had a mouth…”

 

“I didn’t know he had so many teeth!” Robo finished the Wraith thought. “I…”

 

“Oh no, this is not going to be…” Door looked away. She knew what Slenderman was and she suspected what he would do next.

 

CHOMP.

 

“ACK!” Robo moved his optics shutters in what was his equivalent of a wince. “That’s…”

 

CRUNCH.

 

“Oh, there went the skull… “Robo blinked not knowing if he watched because of sick fascination or because he wouldn’t be able to un-see this and he had nothing to lose anymore.

 

SLURP. NOM. NOM. NOM. MLASK.

 

“It’s…” Door peeked from behind her fingers.

 

“Nature in work.” Kroenen shrugged. “He feeds on flesh of prepubescent creatures of all species.”

 

“Why only on prepubescent?” Robo asked looking at the Slenderman who was slowly walking back to them.

 

“I believe it has something to do with hormone levels.” Kroenen replied watching at the creature licking his fingers off of the blood with inhumanely long, red and flexible tongue.

 

“Every living creature has to feed.” Spike nodded even though the sight wasn’t any more pleasant to him than it was to Door.

 

Finally the Slenderman joined them again, licking the last finger clean, his tongue slid back into his maw that vanished without a trace, as if his skin melted back together.

 

“I was hungry but I think I have lost my appetite.” Door growled. “Let’s just go. I want to go to my bed and forget that I ever seen this.”

 

No one opposed but Spike asked Slenderman about the world war, what was it about, how it ended and what happened in Berlin.

 

TBC

 

First of all: **no baby kittens were hurt while writing this chapter**. Slenderman didn’t eat any creature. The sound effects were obtained artificially by Slenderman consuming a toffee filled chocolate Santa Claus. After this chapter was finished other characters received identical chocolate Santa Clauses as well so it would all be fair. Except for Atomic Robo obviously (he got a large TF: Prime Arcee poster as compensation, he claimed that it was a good deal).

The scene of Slenderman licking the “blood” off does not contain any actual blood – it is only thick, red syrup (sugar, water and organic food dye made from fruits).

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) It’s a song from a Bond movie and I thought it would fit perfectly for this chapter – the way they now enter the service and all.

 

2) The same as before.

 

3) Robo is, of course, referring to the fact that SS, and later Waffen-SS was responsible for handling Nazi Koncentrazionlagers (it’s German for Concentration Camps), and Kroenen was an SS officer (at least in the movie). Though I believe he would take an offence for putting him in the same row with people he would probably consider goons.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited after the story was completed.


	8. We Care a Lot

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**We Care a Lot.**

 

 

“ _(…) We care a lot about the gamblers and the pushers and the geeks_

_We care a lot about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street_

_We care a lot about the welfare of all the boys and girls_

_We care a lot about you people ‘cause we're out to save the world_

_YEAH!_

_And it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it_

_We care a lot about the army navy air force and marines_

_We care a lot about the SF, NY and LAPD_

_We care a lot about you people, about your guns_

_about the wars you're fighting gee that looks like fun (…).” –_ Faith No More _“We care a lot”._

 

oOo

 

_London. The next (late) morning._

 

The night passed all too fast, at least for Lady Door. The bed was comfortable and she felt that she has barely closed her eyes when a loud knock to her door awakened her. As it happened it was Robo who took it upon himself to make sure everyone would be ready for the next day of their mission.

 

Door already knew that he didn’t sleep – he didn’t have need for that.

 

“You know, it’s almost 10.” He said walking in. “Everyone else is already in the lobby.”

 

“Uh?” She asked sitting in her bed. Her hair was twice as messed as it usually looked like.

 

“We’ll be waiting for you in the bistro.” He said observing her trying to figure out which side is up and how to get out of her bed. “Tanner should be here shortly.”

 

“Okay.” She replied falling off the bed with loud thud. Before she untangled herself from the treacherous bed sheets Robo already left. Door sighed and limped to the bath room.

 

oOo

 

When she got down to the bistro, Bill Tanner was already there. He and Robo were talking about something while Kroenen listened patiently. Spike seemed to be meditating and Slenderman wasn’t even sitting with them, instead he was standing at the window staring at whatever was happening outside.

 

“We ordered you some tea.” Robo was the first to acknowledge her. “But you need to choose your breakfast.” He added as she sat down.

 

Slenderman didn’t even twitch while Spike slightly opened one eye only to close it. Kroenen pushed her tea closer but said nothing.

 

“I’ll get myself some sandwich and eat it while we’ll be on our way.” She decided. “No point in wasting the time.”

 

“You may as well waste some time, Lady Door.” Tanner shrugged. “You still have to choose where to go.”

 

“I believe we have agreed previously to just go after them.” Door took a long sip of her tea. It was good and she was thirsty. “Stop them as fast as possible before they will cause any damage?”

 

“Yes, but do you want to intercept them or just give them pursuit?” Tanner asked.

 

“Setting up an ambush would be better, but we’d need to be sure that they won’t change their plans leaving us sitting and waiting for nothing.” Robo pondered out loud. “Chasing them would solve that little problem, but we’d need to get to them first without them noticing that they have a tail.”

 

“That is a valid point.” Kroenen nodded. “Still, we need to choose. Or rather, Herrin Door has to choose.” He nodded his head toward Door.

 

“What would you do?” Door asked Tanner.

 

“If I was involved I’d have local police cooperating.” Tanner admitted. “But this is different job.”

 

“Wraith favour chase, it is our preferred way of hunting. We delight in the challenge it provides us.” Spike spoke in calm, multi-toned voice. “In this case however it is not the challenge but the result we’re after.”

 

“What is Wraith preferred way of getting the desired results?” Door asked, curious of Wraith perspective.

 

“It is to get it by any means possible.” Spike answered with blunt honesty. “Usually we use our technological and military superiority. If that is not applicable, then we use deception.”

 

“Oh.” Door deflated. That was not something she expected to hear, the Wraith perspective sounded way too earthen.

 

“And Slenderman says that he personally always liked a good ambush.” Spike spoke again.

 

“Yes. But he hunts naughty children who wander whey they shouldn’t.” Kroenen pointed out earning a ‘glare’ from the Slenderman who turned sharply from the window. It was hard to decide if what Kroenen said was a jab or just stating the fact, so the faceless entity reacted just in case.

 

“Fine, and what would you do, Robo?” Door sighed.

 

“Apply science.” Robo answered boldly. “And probably Jenkins.”

 

“Aye, Jenkins.” Tanner grinned.

 

“You know Jenkins?” Robo stared at the man.

 

“I’ve met him.” Tanner admitted. “It was back in the days, before he joined you. Pretty skilled lad he was.”

 

“Still is.”

 

“And we do not know how they travel because they choose their methods randomly.” Door furrowed her eyebrows, remembering the previous night’s briefing.

 

“That would mean a chase, but they’re terrorists, so if they will notice they’re being followed they might panic and do something stupid.” Robo pointed out. “That leaves us with an ambush, better get them unprepared.”

 

“That means that we must know where to set the trap.” Spike leaned back. “Which we do not because their travel pattern makes no sense.”

 

“Unless we learn where they are at a moment and I could get us there… “Door proposed.

 

“No way!” Robo protested.

 

“Oh, just because you don’t like… “Door started.

 

“It has nothing to do with how I hate it.” Robo interrupted. “It has everything to do with the fact that you might be walking us into a situation when they’re armed and prepared to fight?”

 

“Oh.” Door’s eyes grew round.

 

“Indeed. It is us who should be waiting for them, not the other way around.” Spike nodded slowly.

 

“We must face the fact that we have no other choice but to follow them.” Kroenen finally voiced what everyone knew. “But do so with extreme caution. If we will fail to capture them safely then at least we have a chance to learn more about their objectives which in turn will make our mission easier.”

 

“Then why not start with going to where they were seen last?” Spike asked. “Search for what they were looking for, there is a chance that we would find clues about where they might be heading to.”

 

“Let’s split.” Robo proposed. “Two of us go to where they were seen and gather some intel on what they’re after and the rest follow the two birds.”

 

“Agreed. Then we will meet and see if we have enough to decide where to set the trap.” Door decided. “I will take Doctor Kroenen to places where they were visiting. Robo, you will take Slenderman and Spike and follow the Jihadists.”

 

“Why split us like that?” Spike asked. He hoped that he and Slenderman could search for clues. He would prefer to be on his own.

 

“Because Dr Kroenen is an occultist, his expertise will be the key to determining of what exactly they’re looking for and I am an Opener so I will be providing us the means of fast travel.” Door explained. “While you and Slenderman are hunters and Robo is a war combatant, you should do best with tracking.”

 

“Can’t see a flaw in this reasoning.” Tanner admitted.

 

“Splendid.” Door stood up. “Mr Tanner, if you would be so kind as to provide Robo’s team with means of travel and me with list of places the Jihadists staid during their travel, we would be on our way.”

 

“Give me half an hour.” Tanner looked up at the young woman. “You can use this time to eat some breakfast.” He added.

 

Door sat down and sighed. She hoped they could start right away. At least she would have a chance to get some food.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.


	9. Seek and Destroy

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Seek and Destroy.**

 

 

“ _(…) There is no escape and that's for sure_

_This is the end, we won't take anymore_

_Say goodbye to the world you live in_

_You've always been taking and now you're giving_

 

_Running on our way, hiding you will pay_

_Dying one thousand deaths_

_Running on our way, hiding you will pay_

_Dying one thousand deaths_

 

_Searching, seek and destroy_

_Searching, seek and destroy_

_Searching, seek and destroy_

_Searching, seek and destroy (…).” –_ Metallica _“Seek and Destroy”._

 

oOo

 

_Paris. The late morning two days later._

 

Door sat in a café watching the people walking past the window, each minding their own business. She and Kroenen have spent the previous day achieving absolutely nothing despite their best efforts. They knew that the Jihadists were in Paris and that they left after a week, it meant that they found something here. But finding out what it was and where it was, was another thing entirely. She only hoped they wouldn’t have to spend a whole week searching for a needle in a haystack.

 

She sighed and rested her chin on her hand. She and Kroenen split after leaving their hotel. Previous day he spotted a military shop and went to get himself a gas mask for spare part to his own, unique mask while she went to the café to eat some breakfast. They were to meet there at 10 o’clock but she was expecting him to be late since the shop seemed to be rather well supplied and Kroenen was probably spending some really happy time there surrounded with all things gas mask related. She even feared that she would have to go and extract him from his little heaven should he not show up until 11-ish.

 

“Excuse me, Mademoiselle?” She heard a voice next to her table and lifted her eyes to see a young and handsome man with wide, charming smile. He was speaking English with French accent that softened it gently, it actually sounded very pleasant. “I see you are sitting here alone, waiting for someone… perhaps a man?”

 

“And if I do?” She asked pretty sure what he was trying to do.

 

“I could not help but notice that you are waiting here for a long moment now.” He continued. “The chance may be that he will not arrive.”

 

“It depends.” Door replied, the man was rather confident of what he was saying and that was rather unnerving. She was not accustomed to people from Above being able to notice her or focus on her long enough to strike a conversation, especially young men assuming they know better about her appointments. “Do you know the exact hour when I am to meet my companion?”

 

“Of course not, my apologies.” The man’s charming smile turned into a bit troubled one. “But would you mind if I would monopolise you until your friend will arrive?” He momentarily regained his composure. “My name is Adrien Daupin 1).” He bowed.

 

“Your presence will not be required, Herr Daupin.” A dark figure appeared behind the charming young man. “I am here already.”

 

“You came early.” Door leaned a bit to get a better sight of Kroenen.

 

“The seller was very competent.” Kroenen focused his attention on Door. “She was also very helpful, aiding me in choosing the correct accessories.”

 

“Delightful.” Door smiled knowing that competent help made shopping much more pleasant experience. “But do not be rude, this young gentleman was just being friendly.”

 

“Too friendly perhaps?” Kroenen came closer and gave Monsieur what could only be a suspicious lens (and probably a suspicious eye underneath it).

 

“I assure, Monseigneur, that I had no ill intentions.” Young Mr Daupin replied with hint of offend.

 

“Of course not, Monsieur Daupin, you were just friendly. I am Lady Door of House Portico.” She gave Daupin her hand which is immediately kissed. “And I seem to recognise your name.”

 

“Yes, indeed, my Great-great grandfather was Chevalier Auguste Daupin. Some members of our family inherited his love of solving mysteries, myself included. I am a private investigator.” Daupin explained with smile. “Though I am yet to make a name for myself.”

 

“And this is Dr Kroenen.” Door gestured at Kroenen.

 

Kroenen snapped his heels together and nodded but did not stretch his hand to Daupin. Daupin in turn nodded to Kroenen and didn’t made any gestures indicating that he was eager to shake the other man’s hand either.

 

“Now, let’s sit. A moment of friendly conversation won’t do us any harm.” Door decided and both men sat. “You seem to be familiar with my companion, Monsieur Daupin?”

 

“His name is familiar.” Daupin admitted. “You understand that because of my family interest I have some knowledge of… unusual matters. Matters of the kind that most people do not take interest in.”

 

“I am guessing that the familiarity of Dr Kroenen’s name is not of the favourable sort?” Door asked pinning Daupin with sharp stare.

 

“It is not, but I am troubled now. I do not understand what someone like you, clearly an English noblewoman, would do with war criminal.”

 

“I am not a war criminal.” Kroenen protested. “I was never sentenced as one.”

 

“Monseigneur, I have seen photographs of you wearing an SS uniform, your mask is very characteristic, quite hard to be mistaken for, say Doctor Caligari’s, especially that the madman was an old man at the time.” Daupin gave Kroenen cold stare. “I find it hard to believe that every time a picture of you was taken you were participating in masquerade, you would have to be partying through the entire war non-stop.”

 

“I have worn the uniform, I have performed many duties but I have ever only served one master, and it wasn’t the Fuhrer.” Kroenen took a deep breath; he was beginning to get tired of explaining himself to everyone. “And that is as much as I am willing to explain.”

 

“Regardless, I do not understand how an English Lady would end in company of a German ex-Waffen SS officer.” Daupin returned to his previous inquiry giving Kroenen a stare but the other man did not protest. “Unless there is a reason for your presence other than social interaction.”

 

“I will not deny that. But your presence is a nice surprise to us, or at least it is to me.” Door smiled warmly to Daupin. “As a private investigator you have extent knowledge of Paris without a doubt and I would love to take advantage of that.”

 

“Mademoiselle, you can take advantage of my in any way you please.” Daupin replied with smile of his own, only his was much less innocent.

 

“Doctor Kroenen and I are investigating something… Something that I am not at liberty to reveal, but it is of importance to everyone in Europe.” Door proceeded to explain, she knew that she was threading on a thin ice here, she needed to reveal as little and gain as much as possible. “It would be safe for you to assume that we’re dealing with international security here, we require information from someone who knows where to look for certain types of people in Paris.”

 

“International security? This would explain why you found yourself in company of someone like Doctor Kroenen.” Daupin leaned back in his chair. “Ask Mademoiselle and let us find if I can be of any help.”

 

“We need to find a Rabbi, a Cabbalist or someone with historical knowledge of Jewish folklore.” Door explained. “But not official one, we need someone… Someone with arcane knowledge that is not revealed publically…”

 

“You ask me a difficult question… Paris is a large city and it has large population, finding such a person is a challenge that most would not be able to face.” Daupin tapped his chin in thought. “I must say that personally I do not know anyone like that. But my father who taught me, he walked streets of Paris his entire life and knows many of its secrets. He should know.” Daupin pulled a mobile phone and called someone, presumably his father. After a moment he started to speak in French, the conversation didn’t last very long though and after a moment he put his phone back into his pocket. “Well, I was right.”

 

“And?” Door looked at him with anticipation.

 

“You’re in luck. My father knew few such people, I don’t think they’re still alive but one had a son and I can direct you to him.” Daupin took a paper napkin and started to write an address on it. “Now, there’s the matter of payment.”

 

“I do have funds at my disposal for such occasions.” Door nodded.

 

“Oh no no no, Mademoiselle, I do not want money.” Daupin shook his head. “I was hoping to obtain your phone number.”

 

“Phone?” Door eyes grew round. “Ah, but I do not own a phone, I rarely need to use one.”

 

“That is a terrible shame, because I’d love to call you sometimes.” Daupin pulled disappointed face and handed her the napkin. “I hope you do not blame me for trying, you are a beautiful woman.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind but I really do not have a phone.” Door took the napkin. “But there’s nothing in the way of you giving me yours.”

 

“Naturally!” Daupin started to scribble something on another napkin. “I do understand that you are bound by this case but after you are free you can call me any time.” He gave her the second napkin.

 

“Thank you Monsieur Daupin.” Door stood up and Daupin jumped to his feet to shake her hand. “And until we, hopefully, hear each other again.”

 

“Yes, Mademoiselle Door, and bon voyage, I wish you best of luck.” He kissed her hand.

 

Kroenen didn’t say anything; he just snapped his heels again and nodded to the young man who replied him with not very vigorous nod of his own. The walked out of the café leaving the Frenchman behind.

 

oOo

 

Kroenen parked their car at the address given them by Daupin. The house looked unassuming; four stores high, not too pretty but not devastated either. Door checked the address again but it looked like this was the place.

 

“Are you certain you have the address well?” Kroenen asked.

 

“I do, are you sure you drove us in the right place?” She replied with question of her own.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then it is the place. Let’s go.” Door opened the door and got out of the car. Kroenen followed her closely.

 

The flat they were looking for was on the third floor. The building was old and there was no elevator, they had to climb old wooden stairs that cracked mercilessly when stepped on. It was only Door who generated any noises though, Kroenen managed to stay soundless by walking near the wall where the old wood didn’t make any unholy noises sounding like a coffin being opened.

 

Finally they found themselves in front of the door they were looking for. Neat paintwork announced anyone who would care enough that this was, indeed, number 9. Other than that there was no indication of who could live here. There was no electric doorbell whatsoever but Kroenen spotted something he thought he would never see again in his life. Just under the flat’s number and above the spyhole was a contraption not unlike a key sticking from a tiny dome-shaped metal bowl. He reached it and turned – it made a noise. Door looked surprised at what happened with the device.

 

“It is a mechanical doorbell.2)” Kroenen explained.

 

There was some shuffling behind the door, someone probably took a good look at them through the spyhole and decided to see what is going on because a moment later there was some loud noises of locks being opened. The door opened a bit but there was a solid looking door chain securing them so they could not be opened any further without the owner’s will.

 

“Who is it?” A voice of elderly man asked in French.

 

“We’re looking for Rabbi Isaac Apfelbaum.” Door answered. “My companion and I are in need of assistance.”

 

“I did not ask who you look for or what you need.” The voice took a shape of a man in his fifties or at least a head of a man in his fifties. “I asked who you are!”

 

“I am Door and this is Karl.” Door decided to omit Karl’s surname.

 

“Your names mean nothing to me!”

 

“Sir, most people’s names will mean nothing to you, probably because you do not know them.” Door said in as gentle voice as she could, the man was starting to work on her nerves.

 

“I like it to stay that way.” The man growled unfriendly.

 

“Sir, we come to you for help, we’re looking for someone or something and we need your knowledge of the subject.” Door tried again. “You were recommended to us by Monsieur Daupin.”

 

“Daupin… that name I do know.” The man admitted and his voice changed into less hostile tone. “But you I still don’t know.”

 

“Open them and let them in, for mercy’s sake.” Another voice called from behind the door, this one even more elderly than the voice of the man that was at the door. “You do not need to dispute everything on the doorstep where all neighbours can hear it.”

 

The man they were talking to growled under his breath, closed the door shut and then opened it again, this time there was no chain.

 

“Come in, take your shoes off, I will give you carpet slippers.” He said letting them in.

 

They both looked at their legs – both had knee high boots only Door was lucky enough to have laces while Kroenen had jackboots that were harder to take off.

 

The man vanished for a second, returning with pair of comfy looking slippers and watched them taking their boots off. Door managed without many problems by simply unlacing her boots while Kroenen was forced to perform rather undignified series of jumps while attempting to take each of his boots off.

 

After Kroenen was finally freed of his dreaded footwear they were graced by their slippers.

 

“At least that was amusing.” He said without so much as hint of smile.

 

“Thank you, Rabbi Isaac.” Door accepted the slippers she was given – which by no means were feminine or her size.

 

“I am not Isaac, that’s my father, I am Aaron.” The man said.

 

“I’m sorry.” Door apologised. “Rabbi Aaron.”

 

“I am not a Rabbi, at least not officially.” The man sighed. “You’re probably looking for my father.”

 

“Can he be bothered?” Door asked.

 

“We will ask him.” Man named Aaron gestured to a room on his left. “He rarely has visitors and rarely speaks with people these times; he doesn’t get out anymore because of his legs and age, so be quick.”

 

“Of course, we do not wish to disturb you but are forced by circumstances.” Door explained walking into the room.

 

The room was not too large but bright and tidy though it was clear that two men live here. One wall was covered with books resting on thick wooden shelves, all the books looked old and used. There were no pot plants of the window but there was white, delicate lacy curtain flanked by heavy, plush looking drapes in shade of honey.

 

“Now that my son got you in, I want to know your full names.”

 

Door and Kroenen’s heads snapped to an arm chair containing a man that looked old enough to remember the Versal Treaty.

 

“I am Lady Door of House Portico.” Door introduced herself and then looked at Kroenen not certain if she should tell his actual name.

 

“You sound English, young lady.” Rabbi Isaac moved his eyes from Door to Kroenen. “Go ahead. I might be an old man but I still have relatively good eyes and your friend doesn’t look English to me. No.” He said and his eyes narrowed, they looked surprisingly young in his wrinkled face. “Not at all. In fact, he looks very German to me. Am I right?”

 

“I am Doctor Karl Ruprecht Kroenen.” Kroenen spoke calmly in the lowest voice he could with his damaged throat.

 

“And you have the nerve to come here!” Aaron shouted. “You good for nothing Nazi murderer!” The man reached for a walking cane. “Why are you here, you came to finish what you and your kind started? I’ll show you!” He took a swing as if to throw the cane at the ex-Nazi.”

 

“Leave the man, boy.” Rabbi gestured at his son who immediately lowered the cane. “The war is over, it ended long time ago. I have survived.”

 

“Only because you escaped.” Aaron reminded his father.

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“You seem to recognise me yet I do not remember ever meeting you.” Kroenen patiently ignored Aaron in favour of his father.

 

“I remember you from the war, we lived in Lyon when you and another SS-man came with soldiers, you have ordered us to be taken away.” Isaac explained. “I remember your mask, although you seemed much taller back then. I remember you looking through my father’s books. I know your name because one of the soldiers called you by it. It has been over seventy years but I remember it well. You were strict and allowed no disobedience.”

 

“It is possible; I was in Lyon, but only for a week.” Kroenen admitted. “I was called back to Berlin to resume my other duties3).”

 

“And now for some odd reason I meet you again. I was but a boy and you were an adult4) back then but today I am an old man and you don’t seem to have had aged a single day even though you should be dead long time ago.” Isaac made a short break to catch his breath after his short speech. “Whatever caused it, there is a reason for you being alive still, be it for greater good or for greater evil, I have no other choice but to respect the will of forces behind it. And not only one question begs for answer: what brings you, Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, here?”

 

“Orders.” Kroenen answered plainly. “Her orders.” Kroenen turned his head to Door.

 

“We have spent the entire previous day looking for two men, dangerous men, and today we were directed to you, Rabbi.” Door took out two pictures and stepped closer to the old man in chair. “They are dangerous and were seeking for something in Paris. They have left the city and headed west, we must stop them.”

 

“There were two young men who came to us.” The Rabbi nodded. “Not long ago, but you have to give these pictures to my son, he was the one who spoke to them.”

 

Door turned away and gave the photographs to Aaron who took them and stared at them for a long moment.

 

“Yes, these are the two. They came to us looking for help. They said that they’re two Jews from Israel who were studying in London.”

 

“They weren’t studying in London and they’re not Jews from Israel. They’re ISIS Jihadists.” Door revealed in hope that telling the truth would make their hosts more helpful.

 

“Like the ones who shot people in that malign magazine?” Isaac asked with shock clear in his voice.

 

“Yes. Only we fear that these two are planning something big, much bigger than just shooting people.” Door nodded.

 

“They have said that they were cousins and that their grandfather came to Israel from Europe some years after the war. They were looking for their ancestors who were migrating all over Europe and that their last trace led them to Paris.” Aaron explained. “I couldn’t help them much because many Jews left for Israel after the war, but they asked if I could direct them to places where there have been larger Jewish communities in the past so they could try to pick their loose threads there.”

 

“And?” Door eyes widened, they finally had a trace to follow.

 

“I have directed them west, many Jews migrated from Spain in the middle ages and I knew of few places where they could look. Of course assuming their ancestor was from this part of Europe. I also told them that should they not find anything they might look in Eastern Europe.”

 

“Thanks you, could you tell us the places you directed them to?” Door asked.

 

“What proof I have that you’re not the ones working for ISIS?” Aaron asked defensively.

 

“That would happen to be because we work for British Intelligence.” Door took out and presented her temporary documents. “And these two are being MI6s former archivists who defected to the ISIS.”

 

Aaron glared at the documents for a moment. They were in English but he spoke it a little and had no problem reading what was written there. Of course it could be fake, but these two looked crazy enough for it to be real, an impostor would do their best to look like an actual agent. Also there was a fact that the girl spoke with English accent and that the man spoke with heavy German one and his father identified him. Anyone could cross- dress as some ex-Nazi goon, but Aaron Apfelbaum trusted his father – an impostor could not know if his father even met Kroenen or remembered him.

 

“I will write you the names of the places.” Aaron walked out of the room.

 

The process of putting the boots back went much more smooth than taking them off and soon they were walking down the croaking stairs with addresses of places where they could find the Jihadists.

 

oOo

 

_Random service station south-east of Paris. The same time._

 

Two thirds of the second team waited in a minivan at a service station for Robo to finally be done with paying for the gas. Spike and Slenderman were sitting in silence; neither of them felt any need to contact with the other man.

 

Spike glanced at the clock on the dashboard and considered strolling into the store where Robo vanished moments ago to drag the robot back to the car but he was spared the need to do so when Robo finally emerged from the store and marched to the car.

 

“Took you long enough.” Spike noted sourly when the robotic man entered the car and closed the door.

 

“There was a line.” Robo replied. “You know I can’t just push myself before other people just because I am famous, that’s cheat… “Robo was interrupted by his communication array pinging. “Hold on, someone’s calling...” He pressed a single digit to where his ear would be if he was a human. “Yeah, Robo… Kroenen! Why I am not surprised, hold on, how come it is you who’s calling? What does it mean that phones work funny with Door? I know she can use phones… oh, wireless phones won’t do… but you’re calling from a pay phone. Oh, yeah, I forgot that mine is wireless… Why do you… what do you have? Okay, spill it.” Robo listened for a moment ignoring Spike staring holes in him and Slenderman poking his head above his shoulder, clearly with curiosity. “Nah, we’ve passed that one yesterday and the other was not on our way. It’ll do, we’ll be there in two hours, meet you there then. You will have a chance to see why I hate when Door is doing her… That many? We’ll have to get there before them; sure, we can decide when we’ll meet.” Robo nodded even though neither Kroenen nor Door could see him. “Have fun with Door’s idea of transportation.” He added and disconnected.

 

“What happened?” Spike asked for both himself and Slenderman.

 

“They have it, an entire list of villages and towns. We’re meeting in two hours.” He said starting the engine and driving off. “We’ll have to see where we can set a trap at out two birdies. If we can outrun them that is.”

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) Oh yes, of these Daupins. I couldn’t help myself.

 

2) Yes, these things were real. I remember having such thing at my door when I was but a child. It made awful noise that made my teeth itch.

 

3) Project Ragna Rok. Kroenen was hunting for any occult books obviously.

 

4) Karl Ruprecht Kroenen was born in 1897, in 1940 he was 43. Rabbi Isaac was a boy, so assuming he was, say, 9 in 1940, then Kroenen is 34 years older.


	10. Blackest Eyes

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Blackest Eyes.**

 

 

“ _A mother sings a lullaby to a child_

_Sometime in the future the boy goes wild_

_And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy_

_(…)_

_I got wiring loose inside my head_

_I got books that I never ever read_

_I got secrets in my garden shed_

_I got a scar where all my urges bled_

_I got people underneath my bed_

_I got a place where all my dreams are dead_

_Swim with me into your blackest eyes (…).” –_ Porcupine Tree _“Blackest Eyes”._

 

oOo

 

_France, Limousin region_ _1_ _), east of Tulle._

 

It wasn’t even a town; it was a village with a service station and an inn. Robo and his team haven’t left the minivan; they just stopped on the tiny parking lot at the station and waited. The place was nice, the weather not bad but he was a bit edgy – he wanted to be on the way already. He pondered what was taking Door so long to get there; she was a damn teleporter of sorts.

 

A knocking at the window pulled him from his irritated pondering; Door was smiling at him while Kroenen was looking around, watching if anyone was observing them.

 

“Took you long enough.” Robo commented when the two entered the van and took their seats.

 

“Doctor Kroenen needed to use internet to find me a satellite photo of this station, and then we needed to print it because it wouldn’t work with computer screen.” Door explained. “Digital media act funny with me.”

 

“I figured that much after Kroenen told me you can’t use mobile phones.” Robo started the engine and slowly manoeuvred his way to the road. “How did you find Door’s abilities, Kroenen?” He asked the Occultist deliberately not using his title.

 

“It was convenient and agreeable.” Kroenen replied avoiding admitting that he never enjoyed such things, even when they were performed by Rasputin. Especially that he didn’t want to tell any of them that Rasputin could ever do such things.

 

“So, where to now?” Robo asked not looking at Door, his optics were focused on the road.

 

“South. Give me the road map, I’ll find you the place.” Door asked.

 

Spike grabbed the folded map and handed it back to Door. After few minutes of folding the map, she handed it back, folded so their destination was visible on top of the folds. It was quite large village not so far from Spanish border.

 

oOo

 

_Five hours later near the Spanish border._

 

It was already dark when they finally reached the village. It looked more like a tiny town, but regardless of what it was, they weren’t there to appreciate it even though the village itself was beautiful. Should the circumstances be different perhaps they would enjoy their stay, but they weren’t there for pleasure. Quite the contrary. Each of them knew that if they managed to catch up with their prey, their stay would be anything but pleasurable. And if they missed their two runaways, then it wouldn’t be nice either.

 

Either way the night was a perfect time for them, the darkness providing them with cover. People still walked around but soon they would return to their homes leaving the streets empty.

 

Door and her companions walked the almost empty streets, the weather wasn’t bad but it was windy and the wind was pretty chilling making people to stay indoors unless they absolutely needed to go out. It was for the better; they were on the hunt and didn’t need any random people getting in their way. The word ‘hunt’ was exceptionally appropriate in this case, at least in Door’s opinion, at least when applied to three of her four companions. Slenderman and Spike were both born hunters and there was something about Kroenen that made him closer to the two predators than to her and Robo. Especially that among the entire five, only she and Robo wouldn’t cause much sensation, though she had to correct herself: Robo would cause much sensation because he was famous. She became much too aware that in fact she was the only one who could pass for an ordinary folk, and she’d still be pointed at for looking like a Punk Rocker (which was how she liked it). Of course save for Slenderman, they all managed in London, and Kroenen didn’t cause much stir in Paris, but these were large metropolises where person with original looks would be considered a weirdo or nut case at worst. In a village like this it was different thing.

 

“We’re here, but what now?” It was Spike who spoke first. “How do we find them? If they are here, that is.”

 

“Couldn’t you just telepathy them out?” Robo asked looking at the space vampire.

 

“Not more than you could robot them out.” Spike replied with irritation. “Telepathy doesn’t work like that.”

 

“How about Slender?” Robo nodded at the tallest member of their team.

 

“He says that they’re adults.” Spike passed the message from Slenderman. “He says that with adults it is more difficult because they need to be scared of him so their minds become child-like and vulnerable.”

 

“How about we’ll just ask someone?” Door proposed.

 

“Like whom?” Robo asked looking around an empty street.

 

“There’s a café.” Door pointed out at the opposite side of the village’s only square. “In places like this people notice newcomers instantly, if the Jihadists came someone in the café will know.”

 

“Might as well try.” Robo nodded. “We have nothing to lose anyway.”

 

“Indeed.” Spike agreed. “Our Worshippers often do the same, using village taverns as information source.” He explained. “It brings satisfying results more often than not.”

 

The café windows were large and uncovered; from the distance they could see that there were people inside despite the windy weather and late hour. The warm, yellow light leaked to the street making the inside of the café look inviting and cheerful. They walked to the other side of the street and approached the café, Door reached for the door handle when she glanced through the glass door and froze.

 

There at one of the tables she spotted the men she only saw on pictures until now – the two Jihadists. She had no doubts even though they both sported now meagre beards, perhaps couple of days old. They were eating dinner and drinking something, talking and laughing a bit. They looked just like two men talking; they could even pass as brothers or close cousins.

 

“What’s the matter?” Robo stepped to the woman. He and the rest of the Group were about to stay outside to not cause any steer, instead to just wait outside and only intervene if the need would arise.

 

“They’re there.” Door whispered and stepped back from the door. It seemed like no one noticed her or if someone did they thought that perhaps she just changed her mind.

 

“Who?”

 

“Jihadists. There. They’re sitting at the table.” She nodded at the inside of the café.

 

Robo looked at the direction she indicated and dragged her into the shadows near the building’s wall. She was right, it was them.

 

“What do we do?” Spike asked. If it was up to him he’d just walk in, feed upon them and end the entire affair. But it wasn’t his call to make.

 

“We need to catch them.” Door glanced at the café’s window. At this angle she couldn’t see the inside of the place. “But we can’t scare the people. We’re only allowed to act under condition we’ll keep low profile.”

 

“Storming the café is out of question then.” Kroenen nodded. He’d have no problems with walking in – he did receive full military training after joining the SS. “Especially that they may be armed.” He added. He could take down two random men without much problem unless they were armed with firearms.

 

“Maybe lure them out?” Door proposed.

 

“Or wait for them.” Robo had a better idea. “They can’t sit them forever but they’re still eating. Let them finish, we’ll wait for them and in the mean time we can think of how to catch them quietly.

 

“Slenderman says that he likes your idea.” Spike passed Slenderman words. “I like it too.” He expressed his own opinion.

 

“Do we want them alive?” Kroenen asked. To him it made no difference.

 

“Preferably alive.” Door decided. She wasn’t sure but she guessed that there were people who’d love to question these two. “But not at the cost of life of one of you.” She added.

 

Interrogation was one thing, but the life of agents, her agents as she realised, took precedence. She was responsible for these four beings and she would not sacrifice any of them, not because they were such great people which mostly they weren’t, but because they served under her command.

 

oOo

 

They stood and waited for almost half an hour before their quarry emerged. The two Jihadists walked away from the café talking quietly. They haven’t noticed being followed; they were too absorbed with whatever troubled them.

 

The Jihadists walked in the direction of small inn that was near the service station. The distance wasn’t far by itself but the maze of streets prolonged the time required to reach it. Neither of the Jihadists noticed that five figures hiding in the shadows around them nor they managed to see when two of their followers split from the rest, they seemed to feel safe in this village where no-one would look for them.

 

They entered small street separating local school and post office – both empty at this time – when the attack came.

 

Two dark figures jumped at the Jihadists from two sides, the surprise didn’t last for long though. It took mere seconds for the two men to struggle out of the grasp of the two mysterious attackers and sprang forward without hesitation.

 

Kroenen was luckier of the two – his Jihadist only pushed him away. Spike on the other hand tripped over the curb and landed on the ground. He jumped to his feet immediately but the Jihadists were sprinting away. Kroenen was already running after them and a dark shape that he recognised as Slenderman slid past the Wraith as he was getting up. Spike wasted no time and moved, he knew that he could catch up with his two companions – Wraith were fast. Faster than humans for that matter. And the Slenderman ran surprisingly slowly for someone with legs as long as the pale creature had.

 

Upon lessening his distance Spike realised the reason why Slenderman wasn’t running as fast as theoretically he should be able to. A number of dark tentacles or perhaps flagellums sprouted from his back, they twisted in attempt to aim at the escaping men and thus slowed the entity down. Spike counted at least a dozen of the appendages but he wasn’t sure just how many there was – they all wriggled and flailed. Two highest placed ones curled above the Slenderman’s shoulders in serpentine manner and shot forward.

 

One of the Jihadists looked back with dark grimace on his face only to have it transformed in look or horror – a reaction that most people would display upon seeing what he saw – two black, shiny tentacles speeding towards him. He yelled something to the other man who looked back and his dark eyed rounded in terror. They started to run even faster but the tentacles were closing in. The two long snake-shaped limbs shot toward them and curled around to grab both terrorists but the men managed to duck. One of them was almost caught when a tentacle coiled around his legs but he jumped away almost tripping over. The other one bent when a black shape almost caught him by flexing around his shoulders.

 

Spike didn’t pay any more attention to Kroenen and Slenderman trying to catch the two running men, he pulled out a mobile phone and dialled Robo. After a single signal the connection was established.

 

“Where are you?” The Wraith hissed to the device. “You were supposed to cut their escape route off!”

 

[[The damn thing wouldn’t start.]] The reply came. [[The battery is dead, it wouldn’t even start by push.]]

 

“Where are you now?”

 

[[We’re almost there, just get them.]] Without another word Robo disconnected.

 

“Damn you.” Spike growled. This was most disadvantageous2).

 

He refocused on the chase only to see that the Jihadists were already running into the parking lot. Kroenen was almost at them and Slenderman was making yet another attempt at grabbing them with his tentacles.

 

One of the terrorists pulled the car remote out and opened one of the few cars parked there. The average looking car peep-ed and flashed its lights. They managed to reach it mere seconds before Kroenen and were already closing the doors when he managed to grab the handle of the driver’s door – too late, it was already closed and the man was starting the engine. Slenderman sent his tentacles but the moment they reached the car it was already driving away and the appendages slipped off its chassis helplessly, unable to get a grip. At that very moment Robo and Door ran into the parking lot. Door was breathing heavily trying to catch some air after sprinting to her team’s aid.

 

“What just happened?” Robo asked in irritated voice. He managed to get a glance of the driving away car.

 

“The Jihadists escaped, obviously.” Spike answered eyeing Door who bent and rested one of her arm on her knee, the other one was holding something… two pairs of wrist and ankle cuffs that he was way too familiar with. She was trying to calm her breathing.

 

“How? You had the advantage!” Robo gestured at the unsuccessful trio.

 

“You were to cut their way off.” Kroenen reminded. “We had to stay few paces away from them or else we would be noticed.”

 

“Why haven’t you taken them by surprise the way we planned?” Robo asked. He was getting angry now.

 

“We did, but they weren’t nearly half as surprised as they should be.” Kroenen replied in his and his companions’ defence. “It was a short sprint from the ambush spot to here. A sprint that should end with them crashing at our car, if I may remind you.”

 

“You had Slenderman with you!” Robo pointed out at the tall man who just stood silently in the same spot all the time.

 

“Don’t blame him; it is you who failed to arrive.” Kroenen was now half-hissing, half-growling, his damaged voice cords not allowing him much more. “If we hadn’t split we would have them now.”

 

“Door needed to get the cuffs!” Robo gestured to the woman who was not breathing much calmer. “And how do you imagine they’d walk all the way to our car with these damn things on? It would take forever for them to hobble there!”

 

“Them hobbling to the car would still be preferable to them driving away.” Kroenen pointed out.

 

“And making a show?” Robo stepped close enough to be in Kroenen’s hidden face. “I remind you, that this is supposed to be an undercover mission. Two Jihadists skipping around like two bunnies is hardly discreet. Not to mention that since they couldn’t care less about us staying secret, they’d whine and complain loudly all the way.”

 

“Oh yes, that changes a lot. We might be empty handed but still undercover, what a relief.” Kroenen didn’t back down, replying with sarcasm instead.

 

“Forgive me; I have forgotten that you know little of discretion. After all performing an invasion has little to do with secrecy. Well, I have news for you, in the Free World, we do thing differently.” Robo poked Kroenen’s chest with one digit.

 

“Yes, I have noticed, especially how you managed in the Gulf.” Kroenen swatted Robo’s finger with his own hand.

 

Robo’s eyes glowed brighter and he was about to do something that someone would later be sorry for (and not likely Robo himself) while Kroenen seemed to be preparing to defend himself when two tentacles wrapped themselves around them. They moved fluidly and with deceptive slowness, but somehow before any of the two men could protest, they were wrapped around them nice and tight. And there was another surprise – the flexible appendages were surprisingly strong and firm. Neither Kroenen nor Robo could wriggle themselves out despite Kroenen’s nimbleness and Robo’s sheer mechanical strength. In the same moment they were restrained the tentacles moved, lifting them up and away from each other.

 

“Thank you, Slenderman.” Door stepped closer. “Enough’s enough. The damage is done and starting a fight won’t change anything, it can only cause even more problems.”

 

“I agree.” Spike walked to the woman and the faceless entity. “You starting a fight here would only draw the attention we’re trying to avoid.”

 

“It is bad that they managed to get away.” Door sighed.

 

“They will not consider it just a robbery attempt.” Spike shook his head in regret. “They have seen Slenderman. Unfortunately they managed to shake us off when we jumped on them. Perhaps the spot we have chosen was unfit, I tripped over a curb, we might have succeeded if I didn’t fall.”

 

“Regardless of what was the reason for our failure, we are back to where we started.” Door disregarded Spike’s explanation; tripping over a curb was an accident, not negligence in performing his task. “We need to get back on their track.”

 

“Slenderman says that he was able to briefly see into one of the Jihadists mind.” Spike spoke on behalf of the tall creature. “He says it isn’t much though. The man’s terror made his mind readable for him but it also made it chaotic.”

 

“Anything can be helpful.” Door decided turning to the tentacle man. “Even a tiniest clue.”

 

“I must confirm what Slenderman says. From my own experience I know that panicked mind tends to process random thoughts, mostly the ones that are closest to the surface but it jumble them.” Spike warned. “The best way is to allow a mind to get into terror and despair, so do not expect any ground shaking revelations from what scraps Slenderman managed to rip out.”

 

“You know, a little is still better than nothing.” Robo pointed out from his spot above Door and Spike’s heads. He was struggling, refusing to be manhandled by some tentacle.

 

“I agree. Let’s just see what he found and then we will try to squeeze as much as possible out of it.” Door decided.

 

“Hmm. He says that he sensed the deep feeling of experiencing a setback. They obviously didn’t found what they were after.” Spike referred in Slenderman’s name. “There was no trace of how they planned to proceed now. He says that it was mostly longing for achieving their goal. There were traces of joyful thoughts of success and vivid fear of being caught instead due to our appearance. Especially when he saw Slenderman’s tentacles. It must have shocked him.”

 

“Anything else?” Door pressed. “Other than their fear of failure?”

 

“He’s not sure. He says that there was a lot of yearning to finally be able to succeed with their goal. He wished he was already there and doing something.” Spike explained. “And clay. There was a lot of thoughts of clay, all attached to thoughts of their goal.”

 

“Clay?” Door gave both Spike and Slenderman stunned look.

 

“Yes.” Spike confirmed. “Slenderman is certain it was it. Clay of the kind you use to make ceramics.”

 

“Clay?” Kroenen repeated Door’s question from where he calmly hung. “And they were visiting Rabbins and stolen documents of Jewish and European folklore.”

 

“Does that say anything to you?” Door stared up at the occultist suspended above her head.

 

“It does.” Kroenen confirmed.

 

“You know what they’re looking for?” Robo stopped his wriggling in favour of glaring at the German.

 

“Yes and no. There are at least two things that they might be after.” Kroenen elucidated. “Either way, I might know where they will be heading next.”

 

“Splendid!” Door beamed.

 

“But we need to return to London.” He added. “I need to consult my grimoirs and I have left my computer with all the scans there.”

 

“No time to waste.” Door shook her head. “And we’d have to drag Robo by force if I was to transport all of us. I will go alone and bring you your computer here.”

 

“That is acceptable too.” Kroenen agreed.

 

“Good. And for now I suggest that we should stay here overnight. We should use some rest. All of us.” Door decided. “I will go for the computer and tomorrow morning Doctor Kroenen will present us his findings.”

 

“What about the Jihadists?” Robo squirmed in Slenderman’s grasp some more.

 

“They need to sleep too.” Door shrugged. “We can stay in the inn they were going to use. We will see what we can do with the car battery tomorrow.”

 

No one argued. The only protests came from Robo who didn’t liked the idea that Slenderman still held him up. The silent creature’s only answer was to gently put Kroenen down and simply drop Robo from the height he’d been suspended in – a small reprisal for wriggling all the time.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) It happens in 2015, as of 2016 it is part of Aquitaine-Limousin-Poitou-Charentes region. Yes, there was administrational reform in France.

2) Thesaurus – writer’s best friend!

 


	11. Tell what you have to tell

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Tell what you have to tell.**

 

 

“ _You had something to hide_

_Should have hidden it, shouldn't you_

_Now you're not satisfied_

_With what you're being put through_

_(…)_

_You'd better learn your lesson well_

_Hide what you have to hide_

_And **tell what you have to tell**_

_You'll see your problems multiplied_

_If you continually decide_

_To faithfully pursue_

_The policy of truth_

_Never again_

_Is what you swore_

_The time before” –_ Depeche Mode _“Policy of Truth”._

 

oOo

 

_France, Limousin region_ _1_ _), east of Tulle. Early in the next morning._

 

It was so early that it was still dark outside. The weather was most unpleasant with cold drizzle making the streets shine in the light of street lamps. It seemed that the day would be one of the lazy, sleepy sort when anyone who can stays in their bed.

 

There was no such luck for the members of the League however. When Robo returned from the spot where their car died everyone were up and about gathered in the room that the Jihadists have rented. The lamps were lit but everyone sat in silence. Slenderman and Spike looked like they were out too, their clothes still moist but Robo chose not to ask why they have left1). He preferred not to know. Door was painting her nails and Kroenen seemed to be dozing off, not surprising taking that he was up all night, as far as Robo knew, consulting his grimoirs.

 

“So, how does it look?” Door asked dipping the brush in the bottle and covering another nail in dark nail polish.

 

“The battery is gone for good.” Robo stated. “We need new one.”

 

“Human technology.” Spike snorted. To be fair the energy sources was weak spot of Wraith technology too, but he didn’t have to tell his team mates that.

 

“I’ll go to the station and ask if they have car batteries.” Robo sat down on the only unoccupied space – one of the beds.

 

“No, you’re easily recognisable and famous. You’ll make a scene.” Door finished the painting and started to blow at her nails. “I’ll go. And if they don’t have them I’ll try in the large hypermarket I saw yesterday on our way here. They should have car batteries there.” She started to wave her hands to make the polish dry faster.

 

“Fair enough.” Robo shrugged in his own, robotic way. He’d prefer to deal with it himself but it was true that his appearance would cause sensation; he was the Atomic Robo after all.

 

“Now, Doctor Kroenen, what have you managed to uncover?” Door focused on the German who shifted in his chair, proving that he wasn’t dozing off after all.

 

“I managed to confirm my suspicions.” He said without much enthusiasm. “The clay Slenderman saw in mind of the Jihadist, can be used for three things. And before I will say anything more I want you to realize that both contingencies are equally dangerous, each of them in its own way.”

 

“Before he will say anything more, I want you to realize that he’s talking about occult things.” Robo interrupted. “Which means it is all horsefeathers.”

 

“Indeed. Summoning Slenderman was absurd as well.” Spike smirked. His race was all about science and he didn’t believe in occult as such, but he did acknowledge what Kroenen said that night when they met Slenderman for the first time. The mere fact that he couldn’t examine something scientifically didn’t mean that it wasn’t real.

 

“The first two possibilities are that they will try to create resources for the ISIS, the third is that they will demonstrate more direct approach – all three depend heavily on clay.” Kroenen counted on his fingers. “Each of these perspectives carries various dangers that each of you must be aware of and be prepared for.”

 

“Alright, what do you think they want to do? What are we dealing with?” Door nodded encouragingly.

 

“I managed to narrow their options to three possible routes that I think they may follow, in each they need clay for either creating traditional alchemical crucibles capable of withstanding high temperatures or as an ingredient in certain processes.” Kroenen listed three fingers and started counting on them. “Firstly they may attempt obtaining resources for further fight by trying their luck with _Lapis Philosophorum_ 2) which would allow them to transmute common metals into gold and silver and serve as yet another source of financing for their terrorist efforts.”

 

“Oh, come on! Everyone knows that changing lead into gold is balderdash!” Robo couldn’t stay silent. “You can’t change lead into gold, you’d have to change it on molecular level! It’s a hard science fact!”

 

“I realize that. I know that alchemist gold was used to create coins in the past. These coins did not survive to our times, but in XIX century a medal made of alchemist gold was examined and it was confirmed that it wasn’t real gold3).” Kroenen confirmed Robo’s reservations. “Regardless, however, of how successful the alchemists really were in metal transmutation, effects of their work looked golden enough to fool people. I don’t have to tell you what that means.”

 

“No you don’t. They still can sell that alchemist gold as real one. If they will create little of it they will get the money from the deal. And if they will create enough, they can flood the gold market with fake gold and destabilise it. Before anyone will notice the damage will be done.” Door shook her head. “What else can they have in store for us?”

 

“Their second option would be experimenting with dangerous substances, such as _Alkahest_ – a universal solvent – to use as chemical weapons unknown to the allied forces, which would not have any protection against such substances at ready.”

 

“Oh, yes, another example of poppycock.” Robo raised his hand in surrender. “I’ve already heard about it too. It’s a word that Paracelsus made up! If it was such a universal solvent, then tell me what it was kept in?”

 

“It was a two-phase substance, it was kept in two separate vessels and only mixed upon use, the phases of the _alkahest_ were however very unstable and would dissolve quickly.” Kroenen crossed his arms on his chest. “Rasputin once showed me how it works.”

 

“But wouldn’t these substances be dangerous to the Jihadists too?” Spike asked curiously.

 

“They would, especially that these two most likely have no experience with alchemy, or chemistry for that matter.” Kroenen agreed with the Wraith. “This is why it would be twice as dangerous: they might not only endanger themselves but the unsuspecting people around them as well.”

 

“You mentioned three routes they can take. What is the third one?” Door directed the conversation back on its original track.

 

“The third one would be them trying to create artificial soldiers, a cannon fodder if you will.” Kroenen stated as if it was the most obvious thing. “And they can approach this problem in two ways.”

 

“Artificial soldiers? How?” Door’s eyes grew round. As she understood the manpower was one of the most serious weak points of terrorists: as brutal they could be, they were still a minority that was terrorising the majority and as such they had limited supply of soldiers willing to risk their lives for their cause.

 

“They have two options open for this. The first one would be creating _homunculi_ 4), and use them as suicide bombers.” The Occultists spoke with calmness of someone who dealt with such things on daily basis.

 

“There we go again.” Robo moaned. This entire nonsense was taking some serious toll on him – a man of science (so much more that he was an AI after all) that lived in a world of admittedly crazy and dangerous but science none than less.

 

“What’s a _hommunculi_?” Spike’s eyes grew round. The word sounded familiar. Wraith and Latin were derived from Ancient, and this made all three languages similar in certain ways.

 

“ _Homunculus_. It’s an artificial human-like creature.” Kroenen explained. “It is made by taking seamen and other ingredients, placing them in horse manure and sealing in glass retort for forty days to incubate. In result you obtain an embryo. Paracelsus claimed that he managed to create one of such creatures but in all reality I doubt that he did.”

 

“Of course he didn’t.” Robo huffed. “You can’t have a human made like that! You need full genetic material from two patents and a uterus!”

 

“Wraith drones are created in incubation pods.” Spike confessed. “The Queen mates with a chosen commander and then provides the genetic material from that union to create number of Drones.”

 

“I’ve seen a _homunculus_ once.” Kroenen declared. “A pitiful creature it was.”

 

“Let me guess. Rasputin showed you?” Robo sighed.

 

“No, that was before I met Rasputin. The Thule Society had one dead _homunculus_ in a formalin jar. That one was made by a Thule Society member some years before I joined.” Kroenen elucidated. “It was only partially developed. You could tell it was not just dead human foetus because it had multiple umbrical cords sticking out from various places, something I was told was common in _homunculi_.”

 

“Slenderman just showed me how such a thing looked like.” Spike shuddered in disgust. “He said that _homunculus_ is easy to make if you have right ingredients but it is difficult to keep it alive until it is fully formed but if they do, they become obedient servants.”

 

“And that is why I believe the Jihadists could consider _homunculi_ as a useful resource.” Kroenen stated. “Virtually endless supply of willing and fearless suicide bombers so that their own men wouldn’t have to blow themselves up. Their very own version of allies’ drones.”

 

“And that could encourage other terrorist organisations’ members to abandon their original groups and join the ISIS. They would offer better chances of survival than other terrorists.” Door visibly paled.

 

“Yes. Most of them have the same offer: join and become martyr so you go to paradise.” Robo said in sour tone. “Now, Daesh could bid higher: come, join and you don’t have to blow yourself up.” He rubbed his forehead. “Not that I believe that it is even possible. But they could try to sell some bull to people anyway.” He added.

 

“You said that they have two options for this.” Door refocused on Kroenen. “What is the second way of approaching the soldier making?”

 

“The second way of creating an artificial soldier is making a _golem_ 5).” The ex-Nazi stated coldly. “This would be extremely foolish for them to do.”

 

“Again I am not familiar with the name.” Spike was slowly getting accustomed to be clueless about things his team mates were talking of.

 

“Ask Slender.” Robo waved his hand in resignation. All this was just plain nonsense and he was now waaaaaay beyond and outside of his personal, scientific comfort zone.

 

“All he said was ‘idiots’ and facepalmed.” Spike gestured to the pale man who indeed sat in his chair facepalming. “Though I’m not sure if he meant you of the Jihadists.” The Wraith added with tiny, waspish smirk.

 

“ _Golems_ are artificial creatures made of clay and mud.” Kroenen started and paused expecting to be interrupted yet again but Robo stayed silent this time. “They can be formed as any living or fantastic creatures but usually are formed as humans. They are being animated by application of _Chem_ which gives them life.”

 

“Like Atomic Robo?” Spike nodded at the robot sitting on the bed. He was tempted to give the Replicators6) as an example but he realised that he’d have to explain what they were first as his companions never met the malicious machines.

 

“Not exactly. Doctor Tesla while artificial and having certain features of a _golem_ is not one.” The occultist explained eyeing the robot again.

 

“Don’t look at me.” Robo lifted his both hands in defence. “I’m not going to get involved in your storytelling. You all know what I think of all this codswallop.”

 

“Why would creating _golems_ be any more foolish than creating _homunculi_?” Door asked. She knew what a golem was but aside from some basic information of what it was made of and what gave it life; she was not knowledgeable in the field of golem making.

 

“ _Golems_ are very dangerous. A _golem_ has no soul or mind of its own, it cannot speak or reproduce.” The German spoke in earnest voice, so much more grim due to his damaged vocal cords. “They grow in power as the time passes because they never age, never tire and never die.”

 

At that moment Slenderman threw his arms in the air, which was an epic sight on its own, thanks to how long his limbs were, and Spike almost jumped. The silent creature seemed exasperated.

 

“He says… he’s jabbering actually.” Spike winced. “Calm down, I can’t understand you when you gabble like that.” The green alien hissed at the rambling creature, which suddenly glared at the other man and lowered his arms. “Thank you, can you repeat?”

 

Slenderman sighed and calmed down.

 

“He says that they grow in power as the time passes because they never age, never tire, never die and accumulate power.” Spike repeated Slenderman’s thoughts. “That doesn’t sound encouraging.” He added in his own name.

 

“Yes. Indeed. And as they become more powerful they become less controllable to the point when they pose a threat to everyone around including their own makers.” Kroenen confirmed Slenderman’s words.

 

“But if they want to make cannon fodder, then it wouldn’t seem to be a problem.” Door pointed out. “All their golems would be destroyed before they’d become dangerous.”

 

“In theory yes. The old alchemist scripts advise to remove the _aleph_ symbol from golem’s _chem_ and revert it back to unanimated clay.” Kroenen nodded. “But there is a catch. There are no two identical _golems_. Even if you use a mould and create entire series of _golems_ , they will still differ. And different _golems_ gain power differently. It can take months, weeks or days before a _golem_ will become dangerous.”

 

“Slenderman says that it depends on quality.” Spike passed the message from the Slenderman. “It depends on the clay, _chem_ and method of creating it. He says that he never faced one but he saw it and the damage it did.”

 

“Where and when?” Door asked the silent entity.

 

“In 1942 in place called Chełm near the town of Lublin in what is now eastern Poland7).” Spike repeated words of the creature. “He says that the golem was old, but it was reactivated. It was eventually stopped by Nazi German soldiers. He didn’t witness the fight but he heard people talking about it.”

 

“Was it destroyed?” Door observed the chalk white being. Slenderman only shrugged his shoulders which served as more than adequate answer. “And how do you propose we should proceed in each of these cases?” The woman turned back to the occultist.

 

“Luckily for us, the methods are plain and simple: we must destroy their alchemist laboratories.” Kroenen leaned back in his chair. “We must find them and destroy their _athanor_ 8) and the _Philosophical Egg_ 9) inside it along with the resources in their laboratory. If they will try to create a _homunculus_ – we need to destroy their incubator and any already finished creatures.”

 

“And if they decided to make a _golem_?” Door inquired further.

 

“The same. And if they already have a _golem_ we will have to destroy it as well.” Kroenen shrugged.

 

“As nice as this entire bunkum sounds, we still don’t know where they went to do all their happy hocus-pocuses.” Robo pointed out in a flat tone.

 

“There is but one area that they can go.” Kroenen seemed unfazed. “The coins I mentioned were produced on Habsburgs’ courts, the most famous golem was created in Prague, the one mentioned by Slenderman was destroyed near Lublin.” Kroenen enumerated.

 

“That is still large area.” Robo wasn’t giving up.

 

Slenderman stood up suddenly and reached for one of the bags they carried from the car. He pulled one of the road maps and unfolded it purposefully. After a moment of studying it, he placed it on the table and circled an area with one of his long, elegant fingers.

 

“Why do you think they will go there?” Door questioned the entity’s suggestion.

 

“Because before the war there was a large Jewish diaspora there.” Robo answered touched the map. “That town near Lublin Slenderman mentioned was called Small Jerusalem.”

 

“Then we will go there.” Door decided. “Perhaps we will be able to intercept them on the way?”

 

“Hopefully so.” Kroenen agreed. “I’d rather stop them before they can brew anything perilous.”

 

oOo

 

_Later._

 

Robo sat in the driver’s seat and shut the door. He gave a look to the Door sitting in the passenger seat next to him and buckled his safety belt.

 

“There we go.” He muttered not all too sure if a hypermarket car battery is worth all that much. He ignited the engine and it started without as much as a single cough.

 

They drove away without any further delay. They were delayed already.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) With both Slender and Spike being predators, he might not like the answers anyway.

 

2) Lapis Philosophorum – Philosopher’s Gem. It could be used further as an ingredient for Elixir of Life that grants eternal youth; or as a crucial element in transmutation process that can change common metals into precious ones. Most commonly to change lead into gold.

 

3) In 1648 Kaiser Ferdinand III Habsburg ordered coins to be made of alchemist gold prepared by Johann Richthausen from what was called ‘magical powder’ and two and a half pound of mercury. Leopold Habsburg, son of Ferdinand also ordered such coins to be made, this time by monk Vaclav Seyler who used tin and copper to produce gold. Neither Ferdinand’s nor Leopold’s coins survived to be examined. But Vaclav Seyler’s gold was also used to produce ‘golden medal’ that did survive and in XIXth century it was confirmed that it only looked gold. As sir Terry Pratchett stated in his Discworld series: alchemist only manage to turn gold into less gold.

 

4) Singular: Homunculus – an artificial human created in alchemical process.

 

5) Golems are creatures hailing from Jewish tradition. By replicating the act of Creation an alchemist, cabbalist or magician can give life to an artificial creature. Such creatures however possess no soul, cannot speak or reproduce. The most famous golem was made circa 1600 by Rabbi Liwa, who served as magician, alchemist and astrologist on court of Kaiser Rudolph III.

 

6) Replicators were malevolent machines created by the Ancients from Stargate (both SG1 and SGA). The ones Spike has in mind were created to fight Wraith but ended up being hostile to humans as well.

 

7) This is the one from Andrzej Pilipiuk’s “Jakub Wędrowycz” series. And yes, it was destroyed. Twice. First by Nazi Germans, then it was rebuilt and destroyed for the second time.

 

8) Athanor – (Arab. Tannur – furnace, oven) an alchemical furnace. The temperature inside it is relatively low, but once heathen-up it stays hot for a long time. Various types of athanors were known. The athanor is similar to bread oven, it has a furnace and main chamber above the furnace. Inside the main chamber the philosophical egg is placed.

 

9) Philosophical Egg – glass retort shaped as an egg. It was used for creation of Philosopher’s Gem or other alchemic creations.


	12. I'll see you

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**I’ll see you.**

 

 

“ _I want them to know it's me_

_It's on my head_

_I'll point the finger at me_

_It's on my head_

_Give it all to you, then I'll be closer_

_Smilin' with the mouth of the ocean_

_And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain_

_**I'll see you** (…)” – _ Faith No More _“Ashes to Ashes”._

 

oOo

 

_Heading east, somewhere en-route._

 

They were driving again, chasing Jihadists, it seemed like the only thing they really did lately. At least to Door. The rotten weather didn’t improve her already gloomy mood. Atomic Robo didn’t spoke to her, respecting her uncommunicativeness and contenting himself with just driving. On the back seats of the minivan the remaining trio was actually having fun which didn’t improve her humour – how could they be so carefree?

 

She looked back and saw that they were looking at something on Kroenen’s computer. Spike crooked his head and pulled a face.

 

“Really? Goats with fertility problems?” He asked with disbelief. “And tentacles, no offense Slender, and that’s was what this mad Arab mostly wrote about?1)”

 

“No, of course not.” Kroenen sounded as if he was smirking with what was left of his face. “There is much in this book and I am endlessly content to have its e-copy. _‘That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die.’_ 2) Isn’t that right, Slenderman?”

 

Door didn’t saw what the faceless man’s answer was, probably a nod anyway. She didn’t even want to know who on Earth would be deranged enough to think that it was wise to scan a book as notorious as Necronomicon (which bad fame she was aware of, though she wasn’t interested in learning anything more of it) and how in the world Kroenen managed to lay his paws on its scan? Not to mention what else grimoires he had. Picatrix? Lemegeton?3)

 

She sank deeper in her seat. This was so irritating.

 

“Ever wondered why these two Jihadists mess with stuff that is ‘infidel’s’ folklore?” Robo finally spoke, deciding that Door kept it to herself for long enough. “Isn’t that forbidden for them or something?”

 

“Eh?” Door snapped back to reality and glanced at Robo. “Umm, maybe they want to fight us with our own ‘weapon’?” She replied but the question was legit, she simply never pondered it.

 

“You know, I still say it’s all banana oil but it doesn’t matter if it is real.” Robo turned slightly to Door without taking his eyes off of the road. “They think it is real and want to use it. But to them it is ‘infidel’s magic’, so how does it relate to their religious fanaticism?”

 

“It wouldn’t be the first sign showing that in all reality the Jihadists aren’t really about religion, fanatic or otherwise, but power and money.” Door shrugged. “Hypocrisy is universal trait.”

 

“I know.” Robo admitted. “It still bugs me.”

 

“Did it ever occur to you, that these two joined ISIS but keep their own agenda?” Spike asked from the back. “Possibly even hidden from their fanatical comrades?”

 

“It’s not something I would associate with them.” Door admitted. “Being fanatical and having secret goals somehow doesn’t connect.”

 

“I think it pretty much excludes each other.” Robo admitted. “I mean the entire business with fanatism is about blind obedience and following your fanatical leader, not sitting in a corner, plotting behind his back.”

 

“That is assuming that it is not a plot of their fanatical leader in the first place.” Spike added.

 

“Weren’t you enjoying Doctor Kroenen’s grimoires?” Door asked with irritation. Spike sounded like he was having fun with messing with them.

 

“That book’s contents are truly abominable.” Spike replied with clear distaste in his multi-layered voice.

 

“Occult is not for people of delicate, aesthetic tastes.” Kroenen cackled in response. “You need to have well developed fondness for turpism4) and all thing gory, obscene and appalling.”

 

“And tentacles.” Spike added with deep distaste.

 

In reply Slenderman deployed one his tentacles and gently wriggled its end as if waving at the Wraith.

 

“You two are trolls.” Robo commented, seeing everything in his rear view mirror.

 

“No, trolls are living in Scandinavia.” Kroenen protested.

 

“You know what I mean…”

 

“Back to the subject.” Door cut in before an argument could start. “Do you think that they will try to go into independence from the Caliphate and start their own terrorist network?”

 

“We need to stop them anyway, so does it really matter if it is their own, private mission or their leader’s order?” Kroenen asked.

 

“No, it doesn’t matter. Nor really.” Door admitted. “You are right. They mustn’t succeed.”

 

The silence that fell in the car lasted few long moments as it sped heading North-East. Only then Spike broke it.

 

“I have to go.” He exclaimed.

 

“Where?” Robo asked without looking back.

 

“I have drank too much of your coffee in the morning and not it wishes to leave my system.5)” The Wraith explained realising that while obvious to him, the driver was in fact a robot.

 

“Can you hold it until we reach the next service station?” Door turned back to the Wraith.

 

“Yes.” He replied.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) Mad Arab writing about tentacle monsters – rings a bell? No? Oh come on! You never heard of _Abdul Alhazred_? The guy who ‘wrote’ _Al-Azif_ widely known as _Necronomicon_? You know, The _Necronomicon_ , the one that mentions _Shub-Niggurath_ (the Goat) and _Cthulhu_ (the one with tentacles).

The part with “Goat with fertility problems and tentacles” comes from “Hellraiser Nightbreed: Jihad” vol 1, where Nighbreed witch Nickneven says: _“Cthulhu this, Shub-Niggurath that! Just once I’d like to find something useful in that motherless book! If it wasn’t tentacles or goats with fertility problems, damn mad Arab didn’t give a shit!”_

 

2) This is, naturally, quote from Necronomicon.

 

3) Actual titles of real Grimoires.

 _Picatrix_ is an Arab book, its original title is _‘Ghayat al-Hakim’_ it means _‘Goal of the Wise’_ , it was written by one _Maslama ibn Ahman al-Majiriti_ (who lived in Andalusia and notably was not mad, but was mathematician, which may be the very same thing, or not, it depends on whom you ask) in the XIth century and it is about magic and astrology.

 _Lemegedon_ is also known as _‘Lesser Key of Solomon’_ and it treats of demonology, it is compilation of earlier demonological texts, including _Key of Solomon_ (distinct book from _Lemegedon_ ).

In truth I agree with H. P. Lovecraft, who was absolutely right, it is more fun to make the grimoires up, but there’s just one problem – sir Terry Pratchett already booked all the best names for mystical books.

 

4) Turpism – a term for love of things that are normally considered ugly, offensive and unpleasant from aesthetic point of view; anti-aestheticism.

 

5) As any Wraith will admit, all living things must feed. And that means that they probably also drink and if they drink, they also need to pee. It’s only logical.


	13. Ashes to Ashes.

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Archer Black.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Ashes to Ashes.**

 

 

“ _I want them to know it's me_

_It's on my head_

_I'll point the finger at me_

_It's on my head_

_Give it all to you, then I'll be closer_

_Smilin' with the mouth of the ocean_

_And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain_

_I'll see you (…)” –_ Faith No More _“Ashes to Ashes”._

 

oOo

 

_East of Poland._

 

The place looked average. The roads they driven varied. Some were filled with holes, others were elegant and even. The only thing that was constant was the sense of very late autumn. Of course it was very late autumn but somehow in here it was more intense. The sky was leaden, the trees were bare, the air was chilly and the grass on the meadows was brownish and dry. This place had to be stunningly beautiful in spring and summer, even in early autumn it had to be like fairy tale scenery but right now it looked like gloomy noir film or gothic novel.

 

They were passing small villages every now and then as they approached their target. They were near, passing what seemed a small wood when Robo suddenly turned into a forest road and stopped

 

“What the hell?” Door asked in irritation.

 

“We can’t go to that town.” Robo stated with certainty of someone who claims that water is wet.

 

“Why not?” Door was ready to argue. They didn’t have time for that; they needed to catch the Jihadists before they managed to cause any damage.

 

“Door, we’re not in Paris. Or London for that matter.” Robo pointed out. “We can’t just stroll in the middle of the day, no matter how rotten, into a small town and not attract any unwanted attention.”

 

“You know, Herrin Door, he is right.” Kroenen backed the robot. “We couldn’t do that in that French village and we can’t do it here.”

 

“Uh.” Door realised that they were right. They would cause a stir. People would recognise Robo immediately, he was famous worldwide. Then they would notice the rest of them. “We still have to go there.” She said knowing well that there was simply no other way than to go and deal with the problem.

 

“The plan we used in Paris is out of the question in here.” Kroenen sighed.

 

“Why?” Spike asked surprised.

 

“Because east of Poland is pretty conservative even for local standards.” Kroenen offered an explanation. “In Paris Herrin Door or I would simply pass as eccentric. In here we will stand out. Perhaps Herrin Door would pass as a member of some subculture but she would still draw unwanted attention.”

 

That caused a moment of silence. The last thing they needed was attention and every one of them would draw it without even trying. They were the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, sure, but it seemed that they were a tad too extraordinary. At least the past groups had one or more members that could pass as everyday people anywhere. True, that in modern days Door would pass as just a punk girl, but she still stuck out in rural areas and small towns.

 

“How about we could just dress Spike up?” Door proposed to the Wraith’s utter surprise. “A bit of make-up and dark glasses and voila!”

 

“We do not have dark glasses; I’m not sure if your make-up will cover that shade of green and how would you mask his cheek slits?” Robo asked unimpressed. “Not to mention allowing a space vampire to run free without supervision.”

 

In answer Spike only hissed, but it sounded like an offended hiss.

 

“I say we do what we did in France.” Robo ignored the atavistic noises made by the Wraith. “Let’s wait until it is late enough. They we will look around.”

 

“We cannot allow ourselves delay.” Door protested.

 

“Even if they’re already here, they need time to prepare.” Robo said reassuringly. “With weather like this it will be dark soon enough, we will go then.”

 

oOo

 

The evening recognisance brought no results. The town changed after the war and for those who didn’t know the town’s history it was hard to navigate around to specific places. Unlike in Western Europe, on the eastern side of the continent the war looked very different. The occupation looked nothing like in France. The brutality of Nazi German occupation followed by Soviet invasion that in theory liberated but in truth was yet another occupation for local people and then Soviet instalment of new political regime changed these lands almost beyond recognition.

 

Old Jewish buildings purposes were changed after the war – now that most Jews left there was no one who would use these building for their original purpose. They gained new lives along with new uses.

 

“This is all for nothing.” Door folded the map. “We’re eighty years and one World War too late to search for any Cabbalists in here.”

 

“Does that mean that your Jihadists are not here either?” Spike asked eyeing a man walking past their car. The man did not pay them any attention and they were hidden from prying eyes inside of the car.

 

“Nah. They have no such problems with looks. Sure they don’t look local but they can be tourists so they can walk freely.” Robo looked back at the rest of the team. “They probably had more luck than we did, but if there’s nothing here they won’t find anything anyway.”

 

“I have to be here.” Kroenen disagreed. “During the war a number of occult and esoteric books were confiscated from Jewish societies and some of them originated from these lands.” Kroenen started to explain. “I never came here but I have seen the books. If there were books here then there had to be Cabbalists and Alchemists in here too. I would wager that not all of these books were found.”

 

“Probably not.” Robo sounded pleased. “They managed to hide entire families here, you can count on that hiding a book or two wouldn’t be much of a problem.”

 

“Indeed.” Kroenen nodded. “We need to find a graveyard.”

 

“Why?” Door almost jumped. Scouting foreign cemeteries at night didn’t sound appropriate… though she did plenty of inappropriate things in her life.

 

“To find out if there might be any modern Cabbalist or Alchemists anywhere near.” Kroenen explained.

 

“All right, let’s go to the cemetery.” Robo shrugged and started the engine. “If it’s not too late. You know Jews are buried in Jewish cemeteries but local priest should be able to help us.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Door sighed.

 

oOo

 

The cemetery was empty, no one really enjoyed sitting in a place like this after the dark. Few small, grave lanterns were burning on some graves. Some fresh flowers lay here and there. People remembered their loved ones, but they devoted moment of their time to them a bit earlier.

 

“We should find the cemetery chapel.” Door looked around. “But which way to go?”

 

“There’s someone.” Robo pointed out at a distant alley. “Maybe someone who guards this place, maybe we can ask him?”

 

“How do you plan to do it? Do you know local language?” Spike asked. He knew that humans often spoke in different languages, but on Earth they differed more than any place else he knew.

 

“No.” Robo admitted. “But maybe he knows English?”

 

“Typical.” Kroenen sighed. “You Americans assume that everyone speak English just because you do and you never see need to learn other languages.”

 

“What does that supposed to mean?” Robo stopped and narrow his optics at the German. “I speak four languages on top of English.”

 

“Is any of them Polish?” Kroenen questioned.

 

“… no…” Robo huffed. He spoke Spanish, German, French and Serbian1).

 

“Then I will do the talking.” Kroenen offered.

 

“Why, do you speak Polish?” Door gave him surprised look.

 

“I understand it.” Kroenen admitted. “I speak five languages including German, I read in additional four including ancient Greek and Hebrew and I understand five more including Polish.”

 

“So you can understand him, but how will he understand you?” Spike pondered.

 

“I will improvise.” Kroenen decided and approached the man.

 

It was not a custodian of the cemetery - that was obvious instantly. The man was old. He was probably old enough to remember the war. And the moment Kroenen approached him the man’s eyes widened in terror. It seemed that he recognised the ex-Nazi though Kroenen wondered how that could be. He never came to Poland, not during the war and as an SS officer. Even the information that he was commanding Auschwitz concentration camp were but rumours – he was busy with Rasputin through most of the war and when he was not with his Master and Teacher, he was supervising searches in France.

 

“ _Entschuldigung?_ _2)”_ Kroenen asked in German.

 

“ _Święta Panienko!”_ The man huffed. _“Diabeł!”_

 

“ _Nein, ich bin nicht der Teufel.”_ Kroenen shook his head. _“Ich habe Narben und Verbrennungen auf mein Gesicht.”_ He pointed at his mask. _“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”_

 

“ _Ech…”_ The elderly man blinked few times.

 

“ _Ich spreche nicht, aber ich verstehe Polnische Sprache.”_ Kroenen said nodding slowly when he spoke of Polish language.

 

It looked a bit comical from the distance where the rest of the group observed how Kroenen’s attempts at communication. Slenderman’s arms shook slightly.

 

“You understand it?” Door looked at the tall entity with surprise.

 

“He says that he does.” Spike answered for the pale creature and laughed silently. “The old man took Kroenen for the devil. Whatever that means.”

 

“Oh, this is rich.” Robo almost squeaked in mirth. They were lucky though that the elderly man didn’t notice them. They were exotic enough to give the man a fright.

 

After a few moments of chatting with the elderly local Kroenen returned while the man left untroubled in his own direction.

 

“Did you manage to find out anything?” Door asked curiously. It seemed like they managed to communicate but what was said exactly she had no hope to understand.

 

“Quite a lot actually.” Kroenen seemed pleased. “And we won’t have to look for a priest.”

 

“What do you mean?” Robo glared at the German with surprise.

 

“Let’s get back to the car. I’ll tell you everything.” Kroenen gestured to where they came from. “This man was kind enough to give me directions we needed and answer few of my questions.”

 

“All right. Spill it.” There was still doubt in Robo’s voice. “Start with explaining how you even managed to talk with that man.”

 

“He said that he learned German as a child during the war and he still understands it well enough. I proposed to speak in Russian but he refused saying it’s for personal reasons3).” Kroenen spoke as they walked back. “I asked him about remains of Jewish society in the town but he said that it was either destroyed of plundered during the war. Then I asked him about stories of the Golem and he remembered that back then people talked about it being blown up by Germans which would be consistent with what Slenderman said. He said that it belonged to local Tzadic4) and the rumour has it that it didn’t went down peacefully. Rumours had it that the Golem took at least two dozen of Nazi soldiers with it.” Kroenen continued. “Tzadic’s son wanted to make another but he didn’t manage because he barely managed to escape when SS came to arrest him and confiscate his father’s books.”

 

“Then there’s nothing here for the Jihadists as well.” Door sighed in relief. The Jihadist would come here in vain then.

 

“No. Tzadic’s son managed to snatch the most important book as he fled. The man’s family was helping to hide Tzadic’s son and his wife. The Tzadic’s son hid that book in the local Kirkut5).”

 

“How does he know?” Robo was surprised.

 

“He was a curious child and once he followed the Tzadic’s son at night when he was carrying the book to the Kirkut.” Kroenen elaborated. “He had to hide it somewhere there, most probably in a grave of someone related to him.”

 

“You think we should go and look for that book?” Door pondered.

 

“No, it wouldn’t change anything for us. The Jihadists wouldn’t know about it anyway.” Robo shook his head. “Not to mention that the Nazis didn’t fight any Golem here, they were fighting some sort of local partisans of someone like that.”

 

“So now we know that there is no point it looking for anything here. If there was any alchemical laboratory it was destroyed during the war.” Door summed up. “Where does it leave us then?”

 

“Nowhere really.” Robo shrugged. “We don’t even know if the Jihadists are anywhere near.”

 

There was moment of silence when they reached their car and stopped for a moment. They stood there in the chilly air next to their car.

 

“Slenderman says that they’re here.” Spike suddenly broke the silence.

 

“How does he know that?” Robo asked irritated.

 

“He says that he can sense one of them.” Spike explained. “The one the mind he reached in France.”

 

“Where?” Door turned to the Slenderman with hope plain on her face.

 

The slim entity ‘looked’ at her for a moment and shrugged.

 

“He’s not sure but they’re near.” Spike passed the message.

 

“It’s not much but it’s better than nothing.” Kroenen admitted.

 

“We’re still in the dark.” Robo opened the car.

 

“They need to hide somewhere.” Door approached the problem analytically. “They need a discreet location where they could build their Athanor and set their alchemical laboratory.”

 

“They probably haven’t built an Athanor yet. But they might have started setting their laboratory.” Kroenen got into the car followed by Spike and Slenderman. “If we can catch them before they manage to start their work it would be most fortunate.”

 

“But where can they be?” Door fastened her safety belt as the car moved.”

 

“If Slenderman can sense them then they cannot be far. Still I do not believe they’re in the town. It would be hard for them to find a place where people wouldn’t become suspicious of two outlanders.” Kroenen glanced at the faceless being. “What do you think?”

 

“He agrees.” Spike replied for the Slenderman. “He says that there are enough post-war bunkers and hiding spots in local woods to set up couple of secret laboratories.”

 

“You say you can sense them, at least one of them, can you lead us to them then?” Door asked Slenderman. If the creature could just lead them to the Jihadists it would make their task so much easier.

 

The Slenderman shook his head and turned to Spike.

 

“He says that he can’t pinpoint them, he can only give their approximate location.” The Wraith passed the message. “He should be able to sense if we’re getting closer but that’s it. He said that when he’s hunting it’s usually his prey coming to him not the other way around.”

 

“But he can direct us to the right patch of trees?” Robo wanted to be sure.

 

“Yes.” Spike confirmed and looked at the Slenderman for a moment. “But he want me to make sure you understand that he strongly dissuade you to go and look for them at night.”

 

“Why?” Robo glanced into the rear view mirror to get a look of the mute entity.

 

The entity shifted slightly and turned his attention to Spike as if explaining something to the Wraith. The Wraith in turn seemed to ‘listen’ carefully and then furrow his hairless eyebrows.

 

“According to Slenderman there might be poachers’ traps in these woods and they’re hard to spot even during the day if someone doesn’t know what to look for. At night we might get caught into one and get wounded.” Spike repeated what the Slenderman told him. “And then there may be traps set by the Jihadists that we still have better chances spotting in daylight.” He continued. “And I assent. While I see perfectly well at night, Lady Door and Doctor Kroenen do not.”

 

“Agreed.” Robo did not oppose. “I see in the dark and I guess Slenderman has no problems with lack of light either, but his point has merit. Also we have better chances of catching our two birds at day when they’re probably working on their crazy ideas.”

 

“Then it is settled.” Door summed up. “We go on Jihadist hunt in the morning. But where will we stay at night?”

 

“I think there should be a hotel somewhere.” Robo expressed his hopes.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) Knowing that Nicola Tesla was Serbian it should not be a surprise. Serbian language was created from splitting Serbian-Croatian.

 

2) Translation (you never know when languages come in handy – I used to learn German but I sucked at it big time, perhaps I should try again?):

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Sweet Virgin! A devil!”

 

“No, I am not a devil. I have scarred and burned face. Do you speak German?”

 

“Eh…”

 

“I do not speak but I understand Polish language.”

 

Also “Sweet Virgin” literally should be “Holy Virgin” or “Saint Maiden” and it refers to Mary.

 

3) To younger generation of Poles Russian language is no different than any other foreign language but older generations often harbour dislike of it because Poland was in Communist Block and they more often than not were forced to learn it at school (when they would prefer some other language to learn but they never had a say in that matter). The even older generations have even stronger feelings about it due to the fact of remembering Red Army (which behaviour was less than agreeable when they started to push the Nazis back, the Red Army was not so much liberating as conquering, you could say that in this case the medicine was just as bad as the disease) and the early post war years.

 

4) Tzadic is Jewish holy man, a Rabbi.

 

5) Kirkut is an old word for Jewish Cemetery used in Poland, it derives from German.


	14. Death Angel's Kiss

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Archer Black.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Death angel’s kiss.**

 

 

“ _Sleep and dream of this_

_**Death angel's kiss** _

_Brings final bliss_

_Completely_

_Empty they say_

_Death, won't you let me stay?_

_Empty they say_

_Death, hear me call your name_

_Ooh, call your name_

_Suicide, I've already died_

_You're just the funeral I've been waiting for_

_Cyanide, living dead inside_

_Break this empty shell for evermore (…)” –_ Metallica _“Cyanide”._

 

oOo

 

_East of Poland. The next morning._

 

They managed to find a hotel and even rent a room for the night, but the girl at the reception was rather spooked by a man in a black mask and punk girl that came in asking for rooms. Luckily she spoke in flawless English so the communication was not a problem.

 

The next morning they just checked out and left before the streets became busy, the sun hasn’t even rose yet when they packed themselves into the car.

 

“So, Slenderman, where to?” Robo turned to the back of the car, where the three villainous members of the group settled in their customary places.

 

The Slenderman sighed inaudibly and sat still for a moment, obviously focusing on something. It lasted for perhaps a minute when Spike finally spoke.

 

“He says that the Jihadist he senses is still asleep. It is easier to reach him right now.” The Wraith passed what the Slim Creature said. “Outside of the town, well outside and south.”

 

“South it is then.” Robo turned back and started the engine.

 

oOo

 

They left the town and reached rural areas before the cloudy skies brightened with sunrise. It was a short trip that didn’t look promising. They were surrounded by fields which offered no hiding spots for any Jihadists. They stopped in the middle of empty area and Slenderman stepped out of the car. His chest rose as he sucked fresh air and looked around in utter silence. In the distance light shimmered in house windows and the world was still drowning in gloomy dawn so typical for very late autumn. It was all he needed to direct Robo to where he sensed the Jihadists.

 

“You’re sure?” Robo asked not being sure just how far he can trust creature’s directions.

 

“He says that he is. If you will turn east on the nearest cross roads you will reach a forested area. “Spike acted as interpreter yet again. “He says he senses them in the proximity of it or in it. He says that there are some bunkers there, but he’s not sure if they’re Nazi German bunkers or local guerrilla bunkers.”

 

“Does it matter?” Door pondered.

 

“It does.” Kroenen answered. “Guerrilla bunkers may be less stable than Nazi ones.”

 

“Because of German quality?” Robo mocked.

 

“Because guerrilla had to be ready to leave them at any moment, so they built them to last only as long as they need them.” Kroenen explained. “If they survived longer that it was sheer luck. German bunkers are solid because they were meant to serve for the entire war no matter how long would it last.”

 

“Then I hope they’re Nazi German bunkers.” Spike winced. “Just in case we have to get in.”

 

“What’s the matter? Wraith are scared of tunnels?” Robo giggled.

 

“No, but I do not fancy being buried alive.” Spike hissed back, he did not appreciate the humour.

 

oOo

 

Soon they indeed found the cross roads and Robo drove to the east passing few small patches of threes. The road left a lot to ask for and the fact that a nasty, cold drizzle started to fall didn’t make the trip any more pleasant.

 

Finally they reached the woods that Slenderman had in mind. Indeed it seemed large enough to serve as hiding spot.

 

“I wonder how on Earth these two managed to find out about bunkers?” Robo tapped lightly at the steering wheel with his fingers.

 

“Internet.” Kroenen shrugged. “All they had to do was to go into local library and use their computer to connect to the internet.”

 

“I highly doubt they know Polish and those materials about local bunkers and other post-war souvenirs are in English, let alone Arab.” Robo argued. “And when did they have any time to learn about the area?”

 

“It’s called Google Translate.” Kroenen prompted. “They didn’t need much time to check things out on the internet and we don’t know how long before us they have arrived.”

 

“Probably not more than a day and no less than few hours.” Door nodded in agreement.

 

“And that would be enough.” Kroenen sank deeper in the back couch. “But at least we’re caught up with them fast enough.”

 

“Not fast enough to catch them before they bunkered themselves up.” Robo was still unhappy.

 

“Fast enough so they hadn’t have a chance to gather everything to set up their alchemic laboratory.” Kroenen sounded mildly pleased.

 

Slenderman nodded and then gently patted the German’s arm.

 

“He agrees.” Spike translated. “And says that neither they had enough time to build an Athanor.”

 

“They still had enough time to set some traps.” Robo reminded.

 

“I fear poacher’s traps more.” Spike pulled unhappy face. “From what Slenderman says they’re rather nasty kind.”

 

“They are.” Door confirmed. “But we have no other choice but to go and search. We will have to simply be careful.”

 

“Couldn’t you or Slenderman just transport us to their bunker?” Spike pondered.

 

“I don’t know about Slenderman, but I can’t. I do not know where it is and I do not know how it looks.” Door shook her head. “I don’t have any point of reference and I do not think it would be wise to open into unknown enclosed space in this situation – who knows where we would exit?”

 

Slenderman nodded in agreement and reached to indicate that Robo should drive into the woods.

 

“He’s right; we should drive at least far enough to not be seen from the road.” Door concurred.

 

“All right. I’ll turn into the neared side road.” Robo started the engine again. “One question though: left or right?”

 

Slenderman pondered for a moment and shrugged.

 

“He says that the bunkers should be on the left but we should hide our car in the nearest convenient spot and continue on foot.” Spike spoke on behalf of the faceless entity.

 

“There’s a chance that they may hear us coming.” Kroenen wasn’t pleased.

 

“We don’t have much choice.” Door sighed. “Let’s just hope we will catch them unprepared.”

 

oOo

 

By the time it was already light the only thing that got caught unprepared was Robo who managed to trigger a poacher’s snare. This was considered to be a good thing because the thin wire couldn’t do him any harm unlike if it was Door, Spike or Kroenen instead. They weren’t sure how it would end with Slenderman but the creature seemed to simply know where not to stomp. That in turn gave them an idea: the Jihadists had to pass the poacher’s traps somehow. They couldn’t just drive through the forest which meant that they had to go by foot and that in turn meant that they either had to walk around the traps or trigger them in order not to fall into them themselves. There was of course a slim chance that they discovered the snares by falling into them but that actually would be a good fortune – if one of them was wounded they’d be easier to catch. On the other hand if they drove around the woods then they wouldn’t have to avoid any snares but in turn their car would be left in plain sight.

 

One way or another it was a good start and so they quickly started to look for any areas or patches that were safe to walk. Before they found something that seemed like a patch of deliberately triggered and removed traps it was already noon.

 

“It looks like there was some wire around this.” Kroenen pointed at a thin, young tree. “The bark is damaged.”

 

“Yes and here is where it was set.” Robo crouched near the damaged tree. “And no animal has been caught into it.”

 

“And no blood.” Spike sniffed around. “Someone triggered it on purpose… or it failed to catch the animal that triggered it.”

 

“No, it was triggered on purpose. Someone took the wire.” Robo stood up. “If it was an animal the wire loop would still be here.”

 

“That’s the third one in a row.” Kroenen looked back to where they came from. “We’re on a good track here.”

 

“I just hope no poacher will come.” Door wrapped herself tighter with the coat. “They tend to be armed.”

 

“And if they will, so what?” Robo asked. “What do you think they will do when they’ll see us?”

 

At that moment Spike giggled. “Slenderman says that any poacher that will see him will ‘shit bricks.” The Wraith explained. Door only face palmed as the other two men laughed as well.

 

oOo

 

They followed the patch of triggered or dismantled snares to the edge of the woods; they could see the open space through the trees when they heard voices. It was two men talking loudly or perhaps arguing and they weren’t locals. Kroenen quickly identified the language as Arabic, vastly different than Polish, but he wasn’t able to tell what was said because of the distance.

 

They silently moved to the verge of the trees to see what was going on. Could it be that the two men they were after were just arguing out loud in an open space?

 

Taking advantage of some already bare but still thick bushes they silently observed the scene on the small meadow.

 

Two men – the same ones they almost caught in France – were standing and gesticulating as they quarrelled. Next to them stood two statues that looked like someone’s failed attempt at sculpturing of young, muscular, handsome men. Suddenly one of the statues moved slightly its head to look at the third statue that lay at the feet of the tussling men. There was no mistake, the Jihadists managed to create golems.

 

“Slenderman says that they argue about animating the third one.” Spike whispered and he sounded human in his undertones. “He says that they argue about experimenting with writing the _Chem_ of the third golem in Arabic alphabet instead of Hebrew. Whatever difference it makes.” He added and there was irritation in his voice.

 

“There is no way that these two were made of just clay.” Robo mumbled as silently as his voice coder allowed him. “This has to be some sort of technology.”

 

“In a way it is.” Door muttered her answer.

 

“In a way I wonder how come they have any golems without having time to build a furnace to burn them in?” Spike hissed at Kroenen.

 

Kroenen sighed silently and turned to the Wraith. “And when exactly did I say that they needed to burn a golem in order make it operational?” He asked. He wondered how it was that people assumed that golems were form of pottery.

 

“Okay, enough.” Door decided to end the argument before it betrayed their presence. “We should focus on the task at hand and how to proceed.”

 

“I say there’s nothing to think about, all we can do is attack.” Robo shrugged.

 

“Indeed.” Spike concurred. “Better not to wait for them to activate the third golem.”

 

“Yes, but we cannot just jump out of the bushes.” Kroenen pointed out.

 

“No, we need to approach as close as possible before attacking.” Door agreed. “I say, Robo and Slenderman should take the golems. Slenderman is large enough and Robo is heavy enough to be able to manage them. Spike and I will engage the Jihadists and Doctor Kroenen will infiltrate the bunkers.” She proposed.

 

“Agreed, except it should be Spike and I who should attack the Jihadists.” Kroenen suggested. “Herrin Door should descent to the bunker.”

 

“No. Your expertise in what they may have inside predisposes you to be the one who should explore their lair.” Door opposed.

 

“I agree with Kroenen.” Robo backed the Occultist. “If anything happens it is you who has the best chance to escape and bring help.

 

She hadn’t any answer to that so she simply nodded.

 

They retreated deeper into the woods and slowly and silently circled the Jihadists. When they left the cover of the threes they were safely behind the Jihadists and had the chance to sneak closer before they would notice them. If they were lucky. Which they weren’t.

 

They managed to get close enough to be able to tell details in the golems one of them looked around and its empty looking eyes fell on the group. They could see Hebrew word ‘EMET’1) embedded on its forehead. The golem Emet rose its massive arms, opened it mouth and half-growled, half-whines in a low voice that sounded like a large animal in agony.

 

The Jihadists stopped discussing and looked at the golem at first and then at the direction the creature was trying to point at. That was the end of the sneak attack.

 

Golem Emet turned to them fully and assumed a wide stance as it in preparation for a fight. Slenderman didn’t need any more of encouragement, he unfolded his tentacles and sent one of them in wide arc and deceiving slowlines of devastating strength but it brought little effect. The tentacle connected with the golem’s right shoulder but the artificial creature didn’t seem to even notice it. Slenderman could just as well try to thresh a mountain. If anything it did more harm to Slenderman than to the animated clay. The tentacle trembled slightly after connecting with the body of the golem and then Slender’s knees bent a little form the pain and he instantly retracted the wounded tentacle.

 

Everyone observed the scene in tense silence until Robo broke it.

 

“Get them!” He said pointing at the Jihadists and their brand new golems.

 

They moved just as the Jihadists ordered their golems to defend them. Door used the distraction to quickly move to the entry to the bunker.

 

Both golems, each of them nearly four metres2) tall, turned to the attackers and slowly but dauntlessly stomped at the four charging men. Slenderman wasted no time, at the moment he was almost a metre shorter than his opponent, he instantly grew in height and engaged the very same golem he moved against earlier.

 

Robo started with applying his usual tactics: punch it until it gives up or die. Or explode. The golem was much taller than Atomic Robo tough, so the task was harder than it would seem but on the other hand Robo had plenty of experience in fighting enemies larger than himself (especially that he was pretty short). If the sheer size of the unholy creation wasn’t enough, it was both inhumanely resilient and didn’t feel any pain which meant that it would take more than hail of punches to render it harmless.

If that wasn’t enough the thing was also fast, it had lightning reflexes to back up its ram-like might. Robo needed a plan to dismantle the damn thing. He looked up and recalled what was said about Golems – they required their _chems_ to function, whatever effect the thing had on the clay. He had to destroy the _chem_ and see if it would yield any effect. The letters differed from the one that Slenderman fought and formed words ‘ADAM’1) even though Robo didn’t know that.

 

Slenderman taught with the experience didn’t launch his tentacles at golem Emet; it would do it no harm anyway. Instead of that the faceless creature released his tentacles and grabbed golem’s limbs immobilizing it. Or at least that was the plan because the golem was trying to free itself and Slenderman realised that he has troubles with keeping the damned thing in place. He reached and grabbed the golem’s arms with his hands. This would be some struggle, but as mighty as the golem was, Slenderman was no weakling himself. On top of that he wasn’t sure what hurt more: his damaged tentacle or his injured pride.

 

Behind the two golems Jihadists were struggling with their own attackers – Spike and Kroenen. Spike’s adversary had large and nasty looking knife or perhaps it was large enough to be a dagger and it looked like it could be used for decapitating some poor innocent. The man was putting quite a decent fight too, he was pretty tall, had a wide arms’ range and wasn’t shy when it came to fighting. Kroenen’s own Jihadist was just as bold but instead had pair of ugliest knuckle dusters the ex-Nazi ever saw.

 

Robo jumped back to avoid being hit by enormous fist, his plan was to just hammer out the _chem_ engraved in the clay of his golem. It probably wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded because the clay of these two golems didn’t behave like clay should; it was much more elastic and resembled skin. Robo gave the golem once-over to see if he could trip the creature which would save him some work. The abomination had a good stance but a little bit of force and some swift moves would do the trick.

 

The golem Adam took advantage of the moment Robo focused on its legs and swung his beefy arm. The swing connected with Robo’s chest and sent him flying.

 

“Son of a..!” Was all that Robo managed to utter before he connected with the earth again.

 

The flight didn’t take him very far, it looked like golem didn’t put much heart or whatever it had instead into it, but it was just enough for Robo to see stars.

 

oOo

 

Door entered the third room she found in the not too large bunker. The first two were kitchen and sleeping quarters, she had two more to go and she guessed that one of them had to be toilet of sorts so the other one could have been used by its newest occupants as a workshop and perhaps future laboratory.

 

She passed the short corridor and entered the first room she found – it was indeed a workshop. The room was large and it could have served for many purposes in the past, but right now it stored plenty of random items. There was a large table in the middle, littered with books and folders. In the far corner, under a wall a pile of bags rested, probably containing whatever materials they intended to use to build their _Athanor_. This room wasn’t an alchemist lab yet but it would become one in time. If the jihadists were left to their own devices.

 

Door approached the table, the materials for the furnace were unimportant right now; it was the books and any other documents that mattered now.

 

oOo

 

Kroenen howled when the Adam golem reached and lifted him in both hands, squeezing him hard in the process. Hands of the creature were enormous but it needed both of them to encircle and crush an adult man. Kroenen rasped again feeling that his bones would give in a moment.

 

The Jihadists freed of his oppressor immediately ran for the bunker, Kroenen wasn’t sure if he saw Door running in there or he wanted to retrieve some sort of a weapon.

 

“Little help!” The Occultist rasped with strain. Before he said anything else he heard a trotting and the golem reeled slightly.

 

“Where’s your jihadist?” Robo asked piggybacking the golem.

 

“Hnnn… he escaped when this one grabbed me.” Kroenen whzeezed, the golem’s grip didn’t loosen a bit. “Why… ngg… didn’t keep it busy?”

 

“It shook me off.” Robo started to pummel the golem in the back of its head. “The damn thing can sock like a devil.”

 

“Just make it, hrrnnhh… let me go.” Kroenen could swear that he heard his ribs crackling. “So I can go after that, grrrnnn… Jihadist.”

 

“Let’s see what I can do.” Robo focused on the golem’s shoulder. Perhaps he could damage its arm enough for it to release Kroenen before its regeneration would kick in.

 

oOo

 

Door heard someone descending through the hatch and thought that perhaps it was one of the boys but then she heard the steps and she immediately knew it was none of her subordinates. These were not silent stomps of Robo who wore Converses, or surprisingly light steps of Spike who had ankle boots nor rapping steps of Kroenen’s jackboots. Nor it was discreet tapping of Slenderman’s elegant shoes, but Door doubted that he would bother by walking; he would simply materialize next to her.

 

The hurried, clicking steps closed in and she turned around only to see a Jihadists storming in. The man froze upon seeing her. In the dim light his eyes seemed to be like two coals glittering with tiny sparks. The man glared at her with clear surprise, it was obvious he didn’t expect to see anyone in that room, least of all a woman with such unusual looks to her. But when the initial shock passed the anger took its place and he moved towards her growling something that she couldn’t understand.

 

Before she could decide what to do he was already at her, wrapping his fingers around her throat.

 

“Who are you and what you’re doing here, you little bitch?” He roared at her lifting his other hand armed with a knuckle duster but she wasn’t about to answer him even if she could draw a breath. She had a dagger on her, hidden in her right boot but she knew she wouldn’t be able to reach for it. Not with that man’s choke hold on her.

 

As she grabbed his wrist she recollected a dreadful day from years before, when just like now she was surrounded by concrete and stone with a man’s firm grip around her throat. And just like then, she had only one choice and only one thing to do to save herself. And she did now just like she did it back then3).

 

oOo

 

Spike decided that he had enough of the pesky human trying to cut him with his blade. The Wraith decided that evading the blade any longer would be nothing else than wasting his time – he tried that for long enough. Spike wasn’t all that keen on getting cut or stabbed but his wound would heal instantly and the pain wasn’t anything new to him so he decided to just wrap it up and be done.

 

The Jihadist took a swing and Spike saw a perfect opportunity – the man was right handed so the blow came from the left and Spike grabbed it with his left, non-feeding hand. The blade cut into the green skin of the Space Vampire drawing deep red blood4) but his hold of the dagger was firm. He hissed atavistically and tripped the Jihadist who lost his grip of his weapon.

 

At this moment Spike knew that he won, the impact took the man’s breath away and the alien threw the dagger away and kneeled next to his adversary. He reached with both his hands; the palm of his left hand already healed, and ripped the jacket and the shirt and then the undershirt apart. The Jihadist managed to refocus his eyes in the right time to see the green man slam his right hand to his chest, and then to scream as the blinding, agonizing pain kicked in.

 

oOo

 

Kroenen rushed into the bunker and saw that there was some light coming from one of the rooms. There were no noises coming from it and the German thought that he might have be too late. He hurriedly reached the door and walked in prepared to face the Jihadist. Instead he saw pale looking Door, the girl’s face was almost as white as her keyhole tattoo but she was breathing calmly.

 

At her feet laid the Jihadist that Kroenen fought previously, shock still evident on his face. The man was dead, gutted but there was no blood anywhere. There was only one way he could have been killed that the Occultist could think about.

 

“I didn’t realise you open people too.” He said calmly even if his inner surgeon screamed that this is not the proper way for man’s internal organs to get outside.

 

“I don’t.” Door replied in shaky voice. “I only did it once before, but it was in self-defence.” She added not specifying which time she had in mind, or what was most probable – both.

 

“Are you hurt? Did he wound you?” Kroenen asked stepping closer.

 

“No, he only managed to surprise me.” Door shook her head. “I will be perfectly fine after I will calm down.” She took a deep breath. “I have found books and documents here.” She continued but her voice was still shaking. “There’s more than we thought they had.”

 

“I doubt that all of this originates from MI6 archives.” Kroenen nodded. “They certainly came prepared.”

 

“We must take all of this with us.” Door decided.

 

“I agree. Firstly we must find the MI6 archival documents.” The Occultist looked through the materials preliminarily. “Then we must give them more throughout look, evaluate and sort them.”

 

“Why?”

 

“To know what we have in here.” Kroenen explained. “There are things that no governmental agency should know about. For the same reason the Jihadists shouldn’t.” He decided to cut the discussion. “The temptation to use something they do not understand for their own political games is too great for them. If you do not believe me, ask Herrin Murray.”

 

“Oh…” Door blinked. She did understand it, of course. There were things that some people, no matter who they were, should never be in possession of. She knew and understood that, her whole family was murdered because someone wanted something that they were forbidden5).

 

“The others should be finished by now. And if they aren’t, they may need some assistance.” He directed himself at the door. “Are you sure you do not need anything for your disturbed nerves?”

 

“No, I will be perfectly fine. I’ve been through worse.” She politely declined. He was a medical doctor, a surgeon to be exact but she wasn’t sure what he could give her especially that all he had was his computer.

 

oOo

 

Robo was pommeling his golem’s head like it was a drum. After he managed to cripple it just enough to release Kroenen he realised that whatever force kept the golem active also kept it in one piece and in the right shape, but enough punches delivered with enough force and enough pace would disturb the clay so that it would take longer for it to return to its previous shape. That in turn could help him to deactivate it by simply beating its _chem_ flat.

 

It seemed to do the trick too, because at some point the clay stopped returning to its original shape losing its skin-like quality, more so it started to behave more like clay and the golem fell back completely. At that moment Robo knew that it was all or nothing now and focused his blows exclusively on the _chem_ , not bothering with eyes that until now he also aimed at in order to blind the thing. Now that the clay of its head started to behave like clay should it wouldn’t be that difficult.

 

And indeed it wasn’t, merely few punches made the trick, the _chem_ was destroyed and the moment the letters stopped being recognisable the golem stropped moving and it turned into lifeless clay figure. Robo froze with his left fist raised in mid-punch; it was over, the golem was no more! He punched the clay again just to be sure.

 

Slenderman was trying to overpower Emet golem but no matter with how much he squeezed with his tentacles the thing wouldn’t give up. Seeing that Robo was about to finish his own golem, Slenderman decided to change his tactics too. He backed from the golem and pulled the tentacles wrapped around the clay monster, each leg in slightly different direction while at the same time he pushed with the tentacles wrapped around the thing’s arms destabilising it. The effect was instant – the golem lay on its back on the old grass. At that moment, before it was able to adapt and put up a fight yet again, Slenderman pulled with all his might ripping the golem’s limbs off. The clay seemed to be resilient to punches and blows, the golem was terribly strong, but it looked like it was not as resilient to dismembering especially with each of its limbs being pulled at the same time and with the kind of force that Slenderman has at his disposal.

 

The laying golem with ripped arms was an easy target now. Slenderman simply reached and sunk its fingers into the creature’s forehead, ripping the part with _chem_ and crushing it in his fist. The second the _chem_ became separate and then turned into ball of clay the Emet golem was no more.

 

Door seeing that the two golems were dealt with walked to Spike who was kneeling next to extremely old looking man. There was a single bloodied wound in the man’s chest and fine puncture wounds surrounding it. The puncture wounds matched Spike’s sharp nails.

 

“What happened to him?” Door asked in surprise, she never saw anything like this before.

 

“I fed upon him.” Spike spoke as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I left him just enough to survive and answer questions if you have any.”

 

“I do not, but there are people in London that may.” Door studied the man. He still had pain in his eyes. “Did you have to make him like this?”

 

“I have no control over the results of the feeding. It simply works like this.” Spike defended himself.

 

“At least he is alive.” Kroenen kneeled at the Jihadist’s head and reached for his neck. “His pulse is weak but even.” He informed. “He will live, at least for now.”

 

“What now?” Spike asked. “Are we done here?”

 

“No. There are still things to finish here.” Kroenen stood up.

 

“Such as?” Robo walked closer.

 

“We need to collect the documents they possessed.” Kroenen informed. “And then we must secure the bunker.”

 

“And by securing you mean..?” Robo questioned.

 

“I mean collapsing it.” Kroenen belaboured. “Preferably with use of explosives.”

 

“Sound good to me.” Robo approved. “How do you want to do this?” Robo pointed at the three golems, two deactivated and one unfinished.

 

“We will throw them to the bunker. It should solve the problem for good.” Door decided. “But first we should take the books and documents… and this Jihadist.” Door decided. “We can return tomorrow to finish things here.”

 

“Okay. Let’s do so.” Robo nodded.

 

“And the other Jihadist?” Spike asked. He couldn’t sense him from some time now.

 

“He won’t cause us any problems.” Kroenen promised. “Not anymore.”

 

They got to work.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) “Emet” in Hebrew means “Truth”. “Adam” means “Man”. By removing the initial letters (which in both cases is letter “aleph”) we get “Met” which means “Dead” or “Dam” which means “Blood”.

 

2) 4 m = 13, 1234 ft, or 157, 4803 in, or 4, 3745 yd.

1 m = 3, 2808 ft or 39, 3701 in, or 1, 0936 yd.

 

3) Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, the comic, vol1. The man’s from the past name was Ross, and his sole purpose was to get himself killed.

 

4) Wraith have red blood and that’s not just my wild guess but a fact. They cannot have different blood because it wouldn’t work for them.

1\. Wraith are direct descents of insects/arachnids that continuously fed upon humans absorbing their DNA and somehow passing human genes to their offspring so that though generations a new species came into existence.

2\. Iratus bugs (Wraith insect ancestor) are invertebrate, arthropods. Insects do not have blood but they have haemolymph and they do not have lungs but tracheal tubes that deliver oxygen directly to their cells so their haemolymph doesn’t have to and even if, the haemocyanin is not nearly as effective as haemoglobin. They have open circulatory system so the haemolymph flows freely into their body cavity and slush around, their hearts don’t even beat rhythmically because they do not have to.

3\. Wraith despite being descents of insects are vertebrate themselves, they have lungs and closed circulatory system because their blood has to carry not only nutrients but also oxygen to their cells; this also means that their hearts have to beat regularly.

4\. What’s the difference between blood and haemolymph?

a) Blood is red; its colour comes from haemoglobin which takes its colour from iron.

b) Haemolymph is blue; its colour comes from haemocyanin which takes its colour from copper. Also haemolymph is a mix of what floats inside of invertebrate’s circulatory system and other fluids.

5\. Wraith being the size they are could not have tracheal tubes (well, they could but the oxygen levels would have to be much higher so they could not survive in human habitable worlds), they need lungs. They also live in vast variety of environments on many planets, just like humans.

Haemocyanin is found also in other invertebrates, such as squids (molluscs) in which it serves to transport oxygen from gills to all cells but there is a serious problem. Most molluscs are quite small, only squids can grow to gigantic sizes (and yes they also use haemocyanin as their blood dye). But there is a catch – haemocyanin only works well in colder environments (that’s why giant squids are found alive and in good health in cold waters), its ability to carry oxygen drops in warmer temperatures, while haemoglobin carries oxygen equally well at all times (until it freezes or boils that is). To function in warm climates Wraith need haemoglobin.

6\. But in other space operas, like Star Trek, there are large vertebrates that have different coloured bloods, take Volcans and their famously green blood.

Well, if Iratus bugs fed on Volcans then Ancient records omitted that fact entirely. What we know is that Iratus bugs fed on humans (who are famous for having red blood).

7\. We never saw Wraith blood in full sun, we only had glimpses of it in dim lit rooms where even human blood would look black, but we can tell that Wraith have pink elements in them – their feeding organs, the corners of their eyes, their mouths, often their lips, veins in their eyes, all that is coloured by their blood, just like in humans. And both humans and Wraith have these parts pink. So, think or say what you want, but Wraith blood is red, period.

 

5) Angel Islington. He had a star in his navel. At least he did in the comic book.


	15. Death Black Wings

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

  


**The Cabbala.**

  


“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

  


**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

  


Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

  


Rating: M, possibly MA.

  


Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

  


Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Archer Black.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

  


  


**Death black wings.**

 

 

“ _(…) Wait, wait patiently_

_Your **death black wings**_

_Unfolding sleep_

_Spreading o'er me_

_Empty they say_

_Death, won't you let me stay?_

_Empty they say_

_Death, hear me call your name_

_Ooh, call your name_

_Suicide, I've already died_

_You're just the funeral I've been waiting for_

_Cyanide, living dead inside_

_Break this empty shell for evermore (…)” –_ Metallica _“Cyanide”._

 

oOo

 

_East of Poland. Later._

 

It was getting dark outside, the evenings started early on this time of year and the twilight was deepened by the low, leaden clouds that brought cold, autumn rain. The big, fat raindrops were tapping at the window ledge and the glass, the bare tree branches moved slightly on the wind.

 

Inside of a hotel room it was warm and light. The still alive jihadist was sleeping, his feeding induced age demanding rest. The man who lay on the bed wrapped in blanket looked nothing like he did only couple of hours before when he wanted to set the world on fire. His face was wrinkled, his hair and beard were now grey and his eyes – when he was awake earlier – filled with pain. Perhaps it was the very pain he planned to unleash on innocent people.

 

Next to the Jihadists a pile of books and documents rested on the bed, they were brought and left there. The people who would perform their evaluation were occupied at the moment and the other two team members were not qualified for that task.

 

Atomic Robo and Spike sat on two arm chairs making sure that the Jihadist stayed alive and didn’t try to pull any stunt off, not that he was in any shape for doing so.

 

Kroenen and Door busied themselves with Slenderman’s injured tentacle. The faceless entity was known to have amazing regenerative abilities but he asked for assistance explaining with Spike’s help, that his tentacle wouldn’t heal for some reason.

 

Kroenen being a surgeon was naturally the one to do the doctoring and he asked Door to act as his nurse because she had small and delicate hands that were more adequate than Spike’s sharp claws and Robo’s thick, metallic digits.

 

At that moment Slenderman sat shirtless of a chair, front to back, while Kroenen and Door stood behind him, examining his back. One of the uninjured tentacles held a LED light electric torch. Slenderman as his name indicated was indeed slender though he wasn’t cadaverously thin even though when fully clothed he had appearance of a beanpole. Now however it was clear that while wiry, he had actual muscle stuck to his bones even though the proportions of his body seemed to make them absent.

 

“I see it now.” Kroenen commented something he saw on his patient’s back. “It’s a small tear in the epidermis here, it’s not large but it seemed to manage to swell and block your tentacle from retrieving completely.”

 

Slenderman turned slightly and looked back at the German with what seemed to be question.

 

“He asks if you can fix it.” Spike passed the message and stretched his neck to try to take a look but he couldn’t see anything from his spot.

 

“It shouldn’t be a problem. We only need to let the tentacle withdraw so it will stop pressing and grazing on the tearing, then your natural healing should do the rest.” Kroenen gently lifted the not fully retracted limb. “Herrin Door, you have smaller hands than I do, if you could place them here and hold the swollen tissue back a little, Slenderman should withdraw his tentacle back.”

 

“Like this?” Door asked.

 

“Yes. And not gently, delicately, push the tissue with your fingers…“ Kroenen instructed. “And now, Slenderman, pull the tentacle back in.” The tentacle started to retract. “Good, and now I will apply some ointment to lessen the burning.”

 

“I wonder when that happened.” Spike pondered.

 

Slenderman shrugged, ignoring Kroenen rubbing something on his back.

 

“What did he say?” Door asked.

 

“That it had to happen when he hit that Golem.” Spike replied. “But you were using that tentacle later, in the fight.” He addressed the silent creature again.

 

“That was probably why the tear got aggravated.” Kroenen speculated. “You were moving, retrieving and extending all or majority of your tentacles during the fight.” He screwed the tube with the ointment and put the dressing on the injured area. “There, done, you can dress yourself.”

 

Slenderman stood up and reached for his shirt.

 

“He said that he had to beat the golem.” Spike repeated Slenderman’s words.

 

“You should have been using your others tentacles and let that one rest.” Kroenen replied and vanished in the bathroom.

 

“He shouldn’t be using anything at all.” Robo couldn’t stay silent any longer.

 

“It seems that something is bugging you.” Spike exclaimed the obvious.

 

“What bugs me is how he could get wounded by something that shouldn’t exist in the first place!” Robo jumped to his feet and pointed at Slenderman who was calmly buttoning his shirt. “You cannot have some monsters made of clay that are animated by writing some ‘magical’ formula on their foreheads! It’s scientifically impossible!”

 

“And yet there they were.” Kroenen replied leaving the bathroom. The medical latex gloves replaces by his own leather ones, never allowing any of his team mates to see even a tiny patch of his skin.

 

The moment he emerged Slenderman stepped in and closed the door, causing Door to huff in annoyance. She wanted to take latex gloves and wash her own hands too.

 

“You punched one into deactivation yourself.” Kroenen reminded. “You do not understand it but it doesn’t mean it is impossible.”

 

“Don’t remind me.” Robo did his equivalent of tired sigh. There were enough things he didn’t understand as it was. He never learned who built that mobile pyramid1) or made the gigantic ants2). And those were problems that he solved with relative ease. “You know dealing with weird and unusual is my lot in life but there is a thin line between weird and nonsensical.”

 

“There are things, all sorts of things that were considered to be nonsensical in the past but are reality today.” Kroenen reminded. “There is knowledge that ancients possessed that was forgotten and we managed to reclaim it only recently. You are a man of an open mind, Doctor Tesla, what does it tell you?”

 

“It tells me that these kinds of things are dangerous.” Robo narrowed his optics.

 

Behind them the door to bathroom opened and Slenderman emerged. His shirt neatly put into his trousers. Door huffed something under her breath and entered. Slenderman paid her no mind; instead he reached for his tie.

 

“Speaking of dangerous. What with the bunker?” Spike asked.

 

“We need to collapse it.” Kroenen stated. Along with the remnants of the golems.

 

Slenderman turned to them and then looked at Spike.

 

“He asks if you have any explosives to collapse the bunker.” The Wraith spoke on behalf of the mute creature.

 

“I have some thermite.” Robo admitted. “It’s not an explosive material though.”

 

“It can burn through bunker’s construction elements, at least the metal ones. That should be enough for the gravity to do its work.” Kroenen agreed.

 

“And what about him?” Spike pointed at the still sleeping Jihadist.

 

“What about him? Do you want to finish him off?” Robo pried with sarcasm.

 

“There’s not much left.” The alien pointedly ignored the sarcasm.

 

“We’re taking him back to London.” Door poked her head out of the bathroom; she was wiping her hands in a towel. “Robo, would you be kind to call Miss Murray and ask her for transportation?”

 

“Sure.” Robo started to dial the London.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) Atomic Robo: Fighting Scientists of Tesladyne, vol 3 “Pyramid Scheme”.

2) Atomic Robo: Fighting Scientists of Tesladyne, vol 2 “Pest Control”.

 


	16. Walking in my shoes - the conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is conclusion of this, now complete, story.  
> There is possibility that I will continue it in a sequel, but I am not sure yet - first of all I would need an idea for a plot (figuring how to get the team back together wouldn't be much of a problem). For now it is concluded however.  
> Soon on my account on deviantArt will be downloadable PDF version of this, complete with illustrations.  
> Cheers!

**The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.**

 

**The Cabbala.**

 

“ _When you were young and your heart was an open book_

_You used to say live and let live_

_(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)_

_But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’_

_Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die_

_Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die_

_What does it matter to ya_

_When you’ve got a job to do, you gotta do it well_

_You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) –_ The Wings _“Live and Let Die”_

 

**Warning:** Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

 

Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

 

Rating: M, possibly MA.

 

Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

 

Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Archer Black.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

 

 

**Walking in my shoes – the conclusion.**

 

 

“ _I would tell you about the things_

_They put me through_

_The pain I've been subjected to_

_But the Lord himself would blush_

_The countless feasts laid at my feet_

_Forbidden fruits for me to eat_

_But I think your pulse would start to rush_

_Now I'm not looking for absolution_

_Forgiveness for the things I do_

_But before you come to any conclusions_

_Try walking in my shoes_

_Try walking in my shoes_

_You'll stumble in my footsteps_

_Keep the same appointments I kept_

_If you try walking in my shoes_

_If you try walking in my shoes_

_Morality would frown upon_

_Decency look down upon_

_The scapegoat fate's made of me_

_But I promise now, my judge and jurors_

_My intentions couldn't have been purer_

_My case is easy to see_

_I'm not looking for a clearer conscience_

_Peace of mind after what I've been through_

_And before we talk of any repentance_

_Try walking in my shoes_

_Try walking in my shoes (…)” –_ Depeche Mode _“Walking in my Shoes”_ 1).

 

oOo

 

_East of Poland. The next morning._

 

Only Robo and Kroenen descent into the bunker this time. The destroyed golems and the dead Jihadist were not the issue however but safety. Kroenen wasn’t sure just how stable the underground facility truly was and he wasn’t too thrilled to go there but he knew that he had to show Robo around the place.

 

Inside he led his companion to what looked like a broom closet and explained that this bunker’s ceilings were supported by only a couple of thick iron beams, the reason for such a construction was that in case of retreat the troops would have to destroy the place quickly because of its contents – the bunker’s primary function was a secret radio station and if had to hold code books and often secret orders.

 

Behind the door was a small but comfortable looking shaft that led them up, to maintenance shaft that in turn allowed them access to the beams – which state was less than satisfying. Kroenen reservations were completely excused; the rust was evident and looked thick. The place would probably collapse on its own in a decade or less, but they were not about to leave it be.

 

oOo

 

The rest of the Group waited for them at the safe distance, at the wood border. They joined the three others and waited.

 

“Are you sure it will work?” Door turned to Robo after a long moment of nothing happening.

 

“Yeah, Kroenen was right, the place was holding together on rust and spider webs.” Robo nodded. “And the amount of thermite2) I used there is more than enough.”

 

“Then why nothing happened yet?” Spike questioned.

 

“Give it a moment, it’ll take time, the fuse is slow.” Robo put his hands in his pockets, his tone absolutely bored. “And don’t expect any fireworks; this will be pretty unimpressive sight.”

 

“What do you mean? If it will not explode then how will it collapse?” The Wraith expressed his surprise.

 

“Thermite is not an explosive material, Spike.” Robo began to explain. “It is made of aluminium and iron oxide and burns in insanely high temperature; it literally cuts through every metal. It will cut through the construction beams of the ceilings that will collapse under their own weight. And the weight of the earth above them.”

 

“It is best to do it this way.” Door added in agreement. “A loud explosion would surely alarm locals and we want to avoid that.”

 

“I understand.” Spike nodded. Now that he was explained how the substance worked it all made sense.

 

And then it struck him, their conversation was awfully three-way, Doctor Kroenen haven’t utter a single word ever since he and Robo joined them, and the masked human had always something to say. He didn’t ‘hear’ anything from Slenderman either, and now that he actually paid attention to it, his presence was gone too.

 

“Where did Doctor Kroenen and Slenderman go?” He asked looking around.

 

That caught the others attention, they looked around too.

 

“They went to the car?” Door pondered.

 

“They would say something, not to mention they’d ask for the car keys.” Robo shook his head.

 

“Should we look for them?” Spike proposed.

 

“What about the bunker?” Spike asked and in that very moment a something like a muffled groan of metal and concrete reached his ears. The ground fissured and then he felt through his feet as the earth rumbled when the ceilings hit the floor of the bunker. Its insides were on fire but the flames were now vanishing under the moist earth.

 

“Let’s go.” Robo beckoned.

 

“What about the fire?” Door pointed at the bunker, it was still burning.

 

“We’ll get back here after we’ll check out the car.” Robo proposed.

 

“No.” Door shook her head. “Spike, stay here and mind the bunker, we’ll be back in a moment. If the flames reach the surface, come for us.”

 

oOo

 

_At the same time._

 

Karl Ruprecht Kroenen pondered for a moment about taking the car, but he dismissed the thought. The engine would be heard by the rest. It left him with only one option: to go by foot. He had to leave his computer in the hotel; luckily he made a back-up copy of his grimoirs on a pen drive, which he had on himself. Modern technology was so handy at times – in the time of his youth he wouldn’t even dream of having an entire library in his pocket.

 

He quickly passed the woods and made his way through some fields to another patch of trees, it was best for him to stay hidden now. Atomic Robo had good optics and more than a decent zoom, he would have no problem with scanning the perimeter, but he couldn’t see him if he was obscured by trees. In addition they didn’t know which direction he took which also worked in his favour. Of course he had to reach Chełm at some point if he wanted to leave before the winter would strike, but not at the moment. Right now he had different priority.

 

He slowed his pace when he finally reached the trees and the protection they offered from any prying eyes. He looked behind him but he saw nothing. Silently leaving the team when they were gawping at the bunker gave him a decent head start. He was free to continue.

 

“How long were you planning to follow me like this?” Kroenen spoke suddenly. “And I know you are here. You may just as well show yourself.”

 

At that very moment Slenderman walked from behind a tree that seemed way too thin to hide him. In three long steps he joined Kroenen.

 

“ _You could hear me the whole time?”_ The creature asked in what seemed like a whispering, buzzing hiss, barely on the verge of audibility.

 

“Yes, but only when you were close enough.” Kroenen confirmed.

 

“ _How?”_

 

“It takes to listen to the white noise in your ears, the sounds of silence. Having musical ears helps a lot too.” Kroenen explained. It didn’t pay to be rude to such a creature so he chose to be polite. Besides, he actually liked the entity. “Why have you left?”

 

“ _What else use my presence would have? The mission is completed.”_ Slenderman cocked his head. _“Why have you left?”_

 

“Because the mission is completed. And because I do not wish to be taken back to B.P.R.D. and locked again.”

 

“ _You have left your belongings.”_ Slenderman noticed.

 

“Things can be replaced.” The Occultist replied. “The most important of my belongings I have here.” He produced the pen drive. “Obtaining computer to read it is merely a matter of time.”

 

“ _Yes.”_ Slenderman agreed. _“A matter of time. A short moment.”_ He nodded and reached behind his back. A second later he was holding Kroenen’s bag with his laptop and few other things inside.

 

“Amazing.” Kroenen accepted the bag. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of bilocation3).”

 

“ _I have many talents.”_ Slenderman seemed to be pleased with himself.

 

“Why do I owe the courtesy?” The German asked.

 

“ _I am Slenderman, my motives are mine alone to fathom and I am in no habit of explaining myself.”_ Slenderman stated.

 

“Really?”

 

“ _You helped me with my tentacle. And you’re likable.”_ The slim creature replied quickly. _“What now?”_

 

“When I’m done here I will try and locate and liberate a fellow disciple of Rasputin4) and an old colleague, Leopold Kurtz. After that I don’t know.” Kroenen revealed.

 

“ _And what do you plan to do here?”_

 

“I want to go to that Kirkut and find Tzadic’s grave.” The human said. “That book, the most precious book that his son hidden, it must be _Sefer Jecirah_ , the Book of Life, and if it belonged to a Tzadic, it has to contain his notes too.”

 

“ _Ahh, I see.”_ Slenderman nodded in understanding. _“In that case, allow me to assist you once more.”_ He stopped and laid his hands on Kroenen’s shoulders. _“The best time to visit the Kirkut will be after dark. For as little time as they have, our former companions will look for you; I know a place that you mat lay in wait until they will leave.”_

 

“Another bunker without a doubt.” Kroenen sighed but whatever more he had to say it vanished along with him and Slenderman. The dirt road they walked was now completely empty.

 

 

oOo

 

_At the bunker._

 

The car was empty. There wasn’t a trace of Kroenen of Slenderman. They didn’t have the time or means for throughout search, and by the time they would return it would be too late.

 

When they returned to the bunker Spike was leaning against a tree and the fire extinguished in natural way, snuffed by the moist earth.

 

“I half expected to find you gone.” Robo greeted the green alien. “Why haven’t you used the opportunity?”

 

Spike detached himself from the tree and smirked like a hungry shark. “And to what purpose?” He asked. “We have a deal and I do want to go back home.”

 

“And you have no way of getting there on your own.” Robo voiced the unspoken words of the space vampire. Spike didn’t say anything to that, he just stared. “All right, stay here, both of you.” He decided. “I’ll go and check on the fire. If anything still burns in the temperature and carbon monoxide wouldn’t be healthy for you.”

 

“At least you’re true to your words.” Door sighed watching her robotic second in command getting to the fissure and looking around it.

 

“I do not recall Doctor Kroenen vowing to return with you.” Spike reminded.

 

After a moment Robo returned. “It’s out; if there’s anything still there it will be out on its own. With this weather it won’t take long anyway.” He informed. “Let’s get back to the car.”

 

“What will you do now?” Spike asked.

 

“We will return to London. I will give my report about the mission and return the books and documents.” Door said plainly. “They will take the Jihadist, probably put him under medical care and interrogate if possible.”

 

“I meant Doctor Kroenen and Slenderman.” The Wraith specified.

 

“We have no reason to look for Slenderman.” Door shrugged. “He came to us of his own free will and he could leave after the mission was over as he pleased.”

 

“And Doctor Kroenen?” Spike insisted. “He was imprisoned.”

 

“Just like Door said. We will fill in a report and the rest is ‘M’s’5) business.” Robo shrugged. “Don’t worry, you won’t have any problems. ‘M’ said that your transportation is ready, you’ll be home tomorrow at this time.”

 

 

oOo

 

_Tesladyne Island. One week later._

 

Atomic Robo busied himself wading through the mountain of reports, papers and correspondence that accumulated during his absence. He did pretty good job at managing most of it already, but there was still considerable portion to process. He would do better if he wasn’t interrupted all the time by all sorts on insanity that Tesladyne was attracting.

 

He put yet another complain about Jenkins to his ‘consideration bin’ which was a pet name for his trusted paper shredder. In his absence Jenkins did splendid job preventing his action scientists from performing any insane experiments, including creating miniature asteroid engines to mount on rocks (‘Just for testing the whole theory, it wasn’t anything big either, sish!’).

 

His face palming was interrupted by knocking on his door and Jerry’s head appeared.

 

“A package for you, Robo.” He held a box wrapped in orange foil. “It just got delivered.”

 

“Have you checked it for explosives, bio-hazard, chemical threat and radiation?” Robo asked. It always paid to be extra-careful when it came to packages addressed for him. He had enemies and God only knew what Doctor Dinosaur could think of.

 

“Yup, all clear. It’s regular package. It was sent from Kaunas in Lithuania.” Jerry placed the pack on the desk, directly in front of Robo and left.

 

Robo glared at the package for a moment. It was scanned and showed no threat. It didn’t mean much though. It still could have been something foul. On the other hand there was only one way of finding out (he could simply detonate it but then he would never learn what was inside).

 

He gently unwrapped the cardboard box, then just as gently opened it. Inside he saw bubble wrap, which he removed. Under the bubble wrap was a single, white envelope and something that looked like a plastic comb binded photocopy of a book.

 

He inspected the book first; the copied pages looked old and were written by hand, not just printed. He recognised the alphabet to be Hebrew.

 

Only then he focused on the envelope. It was closed and he gently ripped it open, half expecting something to happen, but the paper remained dormant. Inside he found another, much smaller envelope, and hand written letter.

 

“ _Dear Doctor Tesla._

 

_I trust my letter will find you in good condition, forgive me the term but I do not believe that the word ‘health’ would apply to you. I deeply apologise for my sudden disappearance but you surely will understand that I had no intention of being taken back to New York and be promptly locked back in that underground facility, no matter how comfortable my prison would be. Indeed I have more fascinating places to be and more important duties to attend to._

 

_Regardless of my objection to returning under custody of B.P.R.D. I wish to inform you that I enjoyed our cooperation, no matter of your reservations expressed toward my person. In that spirit I sent you two gifts._

 

_The first one is the copy of Tzadic’s most precious book, the one mentioned by that old man from the cemetery, the same one hidden in the Tzadic’s grave in the Kirkut. The book the copy of which you now possess is very old copy of Sefer Yecirah – the Book of Life, learn Hebrew, study it and perhaps one day you will understand the process of Golem making._

 

_My second gif for you is inside of the small envelope – a set of coordinates that will lead you to place in Uganda. Memorise them and destroy the paper they’re written on. This is a thing that is best left away from any governmental bodies; the temptation for them would be too great as you surely understand how their mind frames work. I realise that what you will find in that place have no application for you, but one day you may meet someone that you will wish to keep by your side: a friend or perhaps a lover; and to them it will apply._

 

_Until we perhaps meet again._

_Sincerely yours._

_Doctor Professor Karl Ruprecht Kroenen.”_

 

Robo glared at the letter for a moment and then quickly checked the small envelope. He looked at its contents for a moment and then shredded it.

 

He pondered something for a moment and then stood up and walked out of his office.

 

TBC

 

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won’t be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won’t be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

 

1) I want to dedicate this sing to any and all villains, be they comic book, novel, cartoon or movie villains. But especially the ones I have chosen for this fic: they deserve all the luv, for being as awesome as they are (by the villains I **do not** mean the Jihadists, obviously, I mean Spike, Karl and Slender).

 

2) Thermite is a real thing. It is a mixture of aluminium and iron oxide (there are also many other kinds of thermite with other metals oxide) that after ignition undergoes the redox and produces aluminium oxide and liquid iron (and a lot of light). The temperature of thermite burning reaches 300 Celsius degrees or even more and is one of the highest temperatures achieved in industry. Thermite does not require supply of oxygen to burn for it contains its own oxygen in form of iron oxide. Thermite has both civilian and military use. Don’t you just love things like that? But far warning, thermite is volatile and may auto-ignite, it needs to be kept dry and flameless.

 

3) Bilocation – an ability to be in two (or more) places at the same time. Sometimes the term can be used as sarcastic comment when someone is seen in one place when they should be someplace else at the time (for example when someone should be at work but were seen in a bar instead).

 

4) Anyone with bright enough mind and at least basic knowledge of historical facts will immediately **identify Rasputin as Russian** (and Russians are Slavs). Nazis **hated not only Jews but Slavs as well** , in fact Slavs were but a one step above Jews, and Russians are Slavs. Of course Hitler and Stalin had a pact (that’s why they attacked Poland in almost unison) but Hitler double crossed Stalin (before Stalin could back stab him himself, but that’s a detail) and that’s how USSR (Russia and other Soviet Republics) ended allied with Hitler’s enemies (not that it was that friendly to anyone who was not Soviets themselves).

And here enters Hellboy (the comic book, not the character) and places Rasputin in IIIrd Reich working for the Nazis. It is nonsense because **no self-respecting Nazi would become disciple to** “sub-human” such as **Rasputin**. Of course Nazis had no problems with using those who they thought to be lesser humans for their own benefit, but it could hardly be the case with Rasputin, who was one of the key figures in Ragna Rok project, let alone that any of the Nazis would actually treat them as their Master (and three of them actually do). This leaves me with only one conclusion: neither of the three (Ilsa Haupstein, Leopold Kurtz and Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) were actually in the NSDAP metal frame mainstream.

I’m not sure about the other two but I can guess what Kroenen’s case was. Regardless of which biography (movie or comic book) we’re talking about, he clearly is not typical SS officer (in his comic bio it’s not even clear if he really is an SS, only that he is an officer). My best guess is that someone as proud as him wouldn’t be able to work with and become disciple of Rasputin if he actually believed in all the “superior race” nonsense (the fact that his film biography states that he comes from Munich, Bayern doesn’t change a bit). **What makes him villain is that he is indifferent to all the Nazi crimes** – he doesn’t care about the on-going genocide as long as he can continue with his own experiments. If they want to kill half of the populace, it’s fine by him as long as they provide him with resources (and nice black bodysuits with matching masks).

Because the crime is only possible when people are indifferent.

 

5) Current ‘M’, which is Wilhelmina Murray. At least for now.

**Author's Note:**

> The cover image (and other illustrations) were made by me.  
> The disclaimer in the story applies to the images as well.


End file.
